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3 Invigorating Equinox Rituals – Indulge in the Energies.

Happy Spring Equinox !!equinox image

The last couple of weeks things have been a shit show with stuff haven’t they? However, even though we went through the valley of the shadow of death, we came out okay in the end didn’t we…didn’t we??!! 😉

This change of season feels somewhat energetically intense yet the shift feels like it will be gentle.  

It’s time to make a change, start that new beginning, dare to dream big.  Take the leap of faith and walk upon an unknown or new path.  Maybe there will be a new baby with this new moon, a new job, a new opportunity or new person in your life.  Something new is on the horizon, fresh out of the gates.

So, enjoy the spring equinox, the change into a new cycle, a new forward movement and ending of the last cycle.  This is the time baby, get out there, try something…do something different…take a risk!  Apply for that new job, ask someone out on a date, start a project or goal you’ve been putting off.  Get out there and DO IT! The time is now.

I pulled a card for this time yesterday and it is bang on Divine.  It’s the Destiny or card or in traditional decks the Wheel of Fortune card.   “Good luck and good fortune are now in your favor.  A cycle of change, success, and growth is imminent.” (It says from the Psychic Tarot Deck by John Holland).  Can I get a “hell yeah”?!  Hell yeah!!

“Believe in destiny as you learn to let go of old issues.”   If you have done your work, sorted through the stuff, good luck, good energy, new opportunities will find you and knock on your door.  All you have to do is be open enough to receive them.  Believe you are worthy, know that destiny is at play here and your soul path is being revealed.  Let the light shine brightly on the path ahead, see it and start walking on it…it is finally time!!  Yahoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Some New Moon & Equinox Ritual Ideas:  Movement is key this month.spring2

  • In many yoga circles they welcome the seasonal shifts with 108 sun salutations. Now that’s a lot and perhaps we can’t do that many but if you enjoy yoga, perhaps do a sun salutation facing all directions.   Start in the South and make your way West, North and then finally East.   As we are in a Solar eclipse that usually heralds, new beginnings and abrupt changes, let’s honor the sun with this sun salutation sequence.yoga sequence
  • Take a sun walk. (okay I totally made this term up but…roll with me).  Take a stroll outside in the evening in walk in a giant circle, honoring and reflecting on the seasons of change and the transit of the sun.  Be sure to walk in a clock wise direction and if you can, start in the south direction.  Maybe walk around a track or even a trail or around your house.  If you’re up for it, do four laps or circles to honor all directions.  As you walk reflect on changes, new beginnings and dedicate yourself to Earth Mother for spring and Grandmother Moon.  Imagine conversing with their energies like they were Sacred Beings as you walk.  What do they have to offer you during this cycle of change.
  • Last but not least…DANCE! I love this one song called Janjara by James Asher.  Let your feet be drums on the Earth and dance in a circular manner.  Again swirl in a clock wise direction and just let your soul move your body.  This is a new moon and new cycle dance, an honoring of the seasonal and lunar shifts.  Allow it to flow out naturally, close your eyes and simply move how your body wants.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bafvarg08lM

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Image source: https://journeyingtothegoddess.wordpress.com/tag/growth/

Image source 2:  www.halfmoon.org.uk

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How to Actually & Consciously Feel Your Feelings – A New Moon Intention & Soul Lesson

self acceptanceIn my restorative yoga class last night I took to the mat in a supported child’s pose and suddenly couldn’t breathe.  It felt like my lungs were being crushed and I could not catch my breath.  I was going to lose it, like weep right there on the mat.  The room started to spin and I felt tears start to well it my eyes.  “Keep it together…keep it together,” I kept silently saying to myself.  When the yoga instructor inquired if I was okay as I sat up out of the pose, I almost let out a loud whale but managed to say I couldn’t’ breathe.

The well of emotion took a hit and sprung a leak but I didn’t want it to erupt mid yoga class.  I’m a unique duck who goes on emotional journeys and works with different parts of myself whilst in these calming and restorative poses.  I don’t float away, I float inward, towards what is already stewing inside or what has been lying dormant my entire life.

I feel like I came face to face with a deep deep wound, a wound that is held in the physical ailment pattern of my blood issue. It’s my thirteen year old self.  I’ve tended to this part of me for years.  It’s the time when I lost connection to my body and caged my soul and started to live my life in the edges of self-harm with an eating disorder and alcohol misuse.  I acted out my pain and my disconnection and severing from my feminine, wild soul.  Her and I have done a lot of healing work together (my 13 year old self) but suddenly she’s re-emerged.

As I flipped onto my back and opened my heart chakra in yoga class to reign in my emotional meltdown, I started to inquire within about the grief trying to ooze out of me.  My thoughts went to an email I received from a good friend in response to one of my blogs.  I was dumbfounded.  I was so moved by her healing, her growing… her awareness.  I was so humbled that some of my sharing had really sunk in for her, resonated with her in such a powerful way.  I had not known that some of our conversations she really had digested and absorbed.   I wasn’t sure she really bought in to what I was saying at times, it’s quite opposite to the general accepted norm.

As a professional therapist, I’ve helped a lot of different people.  But this was different.  I felt heard and celebrated from the depths of me, from the place of my soul.   From the place that had been silenced, tamed and hidden away from the world because nobody gave her permission to emerge and shine.   My wild, primal voice once silenced is now being shared, heard and better yet…received from others, like a knowing and remembering they already owned.  That’s how it happened for me, shaman and teacher Lynn Andrews spoke words and a language that my DNA had already known but was just waiting to emerge, just waiting to erupt forth into my veins and consciousness.  Now I’ve found my way to live them, even though our society largely disconnects from or unacknowledges our emotional and spiritual realms, I go there and experience them regularly.  That is my purpose.  That is my life line to balance, and fulfillment.  It is the pathway to my confidence and self-worth in the world.

This wounded thirteen year old self at times emerges when I get triggered or fearful and she takes over my body momentarily.  I get frozen in fear and in that automatic response, I get silent and small.

Sometimes I get frustrated that I need to continually tend to this part of me, my inner child that seems to range in ages.  I wonder why she can’t just go away or be healed already.  The Creator knows I’ve worked my but off to tend to her and heal my past.  My ego has a pre-conceived idea that I should be done already, able to move on and forward with no emotional upheaval.  Ha! Silly goose that ego is.

What I’ve come to learn is to simply just witness and make space for whatever it is that is occurring within.  I cannot control what I feel or rid myself of some of my emotional responses triggered by past wounding experiences,  I can only witness them and tend to them and know that over time they lessen.  I guess I can try and ignore and escape them but I’ve done that gig already via eating disorder and too much boozin’.   And in the end, I still had to face what was there anyways.

So what if we simply let go and stopped trying to control the uncontrollable?  What if we simply allowed our natural reactions and allowed them to be as they are while offering them what they need ourselves.  This is the gift of the Aquarian New Moon…non-attachment (as shared by my pal Bekah Finch).  What if we simply observed our reactions and responses as neither good nor bad but as messengers?  What if we simply heard them and witnessed them, maybe even gave voice to them so we could better understand and honor them, rather than poo- pooing them away?!

In sitting with my thirteen year old self on my yoga mat, I know she is just moving through a release, a dumping out of the old cargo that has been held there for so long.  An old pattern is being shaved away and with it a new one taking shape.   There’s going to be some emotional release with that.  Her responses are to freeze in fear and collapse into silence.   As I play witness to her (seeing and watching an image of her my mind’s eye), I tell her I got her back as my adult self and stand in front of her to protect her.  I tell her she is safe and supported, I am here, I will protect her.  I will DEFEND her.  I will use my voice and stand my ground on her behalf when she feels threatened.  I’ve got her. And as I tell her that I see her begin to shift.

In working with this 13 year-old part of me, I’m aware that she feels both relief and grief.  That’s all she’s ever wanted was support and validation.  She’s just wanted someone to have her back.  Hence the grief.  So I allowed myself to whale on the way home from yoga class and release what needed to be released.  It’s that simple.  I don’t have depression, I’m not crazy, I am real life, feeling human on a spiritual life journey.  My emotions are gifts, messengers from the Divine leading back home to myself.

As such, I have issues with my spleen, it swells, it hurts, it aches.  It has for years.  In the book The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal issues with the spleen speaks to, “Feeling helpless, disconnected from feminine energy, fearful, frozen, angry, frustrated.  Overly sensitive and easily swayed…continually worrying and stressing about others.”   My spleen is holding the soul wounds of having separating and betraying my wild, feminine soul and the layers of grief has been long held in the fibers of my spleen and lungs.   I’m currently focusing much of my time and energy on these long held emotional wounds held in the depths of this physical illness.  In tending to the underlying emotional and spiritual patterns I believe I will heal my illness, I believe I will at least get more physical stability in my health as I uncover, unwind and release the twisted wounds in my body’s fibers.  I’m already starting to see the changes.  That is my intention for 40 straight days, to work with the emotional and spiritual wounds while on my yoga mat.  So far I’m on day 16.

So let us practice a teaching most of us missed growing up on this Aquarius new moon.  Nobody sat us down and showed us the way inward, down into the body to reflect and feel our emotions.  So may I be so honored to share with you the way home, the way in, the way to your deepest self.  Let’s practise this conscious journey inward to our bodies, the magical inner realm where our emotions, spirit, desires, needs, wants, wounds and unconscious mind exists.  It’s like a magical galaxy with endless information and beauty that swirls with emotions, feelings, sensation and even symbolic imagery.  We just need to travel into this dimension and this world regularly, consciously so we need not erupt at the seams or act out and distract from it with our “vices” or addictions.

So, sit or lie down and take several deep breaths.  Allow your eyes to close.  With each breath just sink deeper and deeper into your body and notice anything that calls your attention.  Is there a muscle ache or a tingling sensation anywhere?  Is there an image or emotion that comes to mind?  Just allow what is there, first thing that comes.   Say hello to it, honor it.  Imagine that part sitting beside you.   Ask it why it is calling for your attention.  Become that part of you and speak on its behalf.  What wisdom and information does it have to share with you?  What does it need from you?  What do you have to say to this part?

Don’t think too much here just consciously feel what is calling for your attention.  Meet your inner wisdom where it exists.  There is so much in there so just focus on the loudest aspect that is calling you today.  Sit with it in silence, maybe just say hi and sit there to start. And work your way up to conversation.  Simply by acknowledging it, it will begin to shift.

This new moon with mercury retrograde feels like a cleansing, a lesson in absorbing the inner wisdom and releasing the past.  It’s like we are simultaneously clearing the old while setting the new foundational intentions.  It’s quite interesting.   Maybe this month you can set an intention for self-connection, going inward, reflecting, hearing, listening to the Sacred Body as a regular soul nourishing practise.  What can you do to self-connect and go inward a little more?  Watch for more posts this month to help guide you with some self-reflection activities and inner world explorations.  Be sure to follow the blog by adding your email to get the posts.  J

This is my specialty, going inward, going into the shamanic territory of the inner body where all parts of us exist…the perfectionist, the addictive parts, the controller, the over achiever, the self-sabotager, the wounded self.  It’s like a sea of segregated parts…all hiding the Big Kahuna…our wild, primal souls.  If you’d like to work deeper into your inner realm and learn how to exist in more regularly as your wild, tribal, primal soul email me at  crystalchagnon22@gmail.com. To explore some one on one work together.

sacred body 2Happy New Moon & Inner Reflections this month.

🙂

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Are You a Puller or a Pusher?

edgeYesterday I went to a Core Flow Yoga class.  My first in a long time as I’ve been hung up by my health condition.  I’ve been feeling stuck in an inertia lately and I know I need to move….move my body, move my emotions, move my ideas…move!!  So I pushed myself into a flow class to get the juices flowing.

Historically I loved Flow Yoga.  I craved the vigorous, sweaty nature of the class.  I loved being in tip top shape and pushed myself to and past my limits constantly and twisted into pretzel shapes my body was not yet ready for.  I’d adopt the cultural mantra and do more…and more…harder…faster…better.  So here I was once again  face to face with my old habits in a hard core class.  This time I was learning my new limits and exploring my new edge.  I feel like I’m having to learn how to live life with a brand new set of physical limits. Having a PICC line kinda forces you to honor that limit, particularly in a Yoga Flow class.

So there I was surrounded by hard core yogis and my intention was gentleness.  I wanted to find my edge and pull back from it, not push past it.  Let me tell you it takes more courage, more bravery and more vulnerability to pull back and do less than it is to push past.  It was like I was being challenged to see if I can be self-honoring in the company of others who are doing more than me.  Do I compare myself to others and push myself past my edge or do I honor where I am and just own it?  Can I accept where I am, as I am or do I feel the need to do something more to feel good enough or successful? So there I was having an internal battle on the mat and I let myself bow down into child’s pose and out of the vigorous flow.  Success by self-honoring.

Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when we are meant to push past our edge, otherwise we’d never evolve.  But there are moments too when we are meant to pull back from it and be gentle and graceful with ourselves.  It’s tough getting over an addiction to over-doing, and over pushing and I see women struggling with this all the time with our busy lives, full of responsibilities and schedules.   As I challenged myself to take a child’s pose instead of a sun salutation, I was awe struck in how much this pose was like a mirror to life.

How many of us do the “sun salutation” of laundry, cleaning bathrooms, volunteering, etc. etc.  instead of reclining into a “child’s pose” and resting or restoring our inner natures.  It takes some balls to rest.  It takes a warrior… a goddess… a queen to assert herself and say I am at my limit and I need to pull back.  And I don’t need to do something to be successful or worthy.  I am worthy for being, just as I am in this moment.  Yet we crave success and validation on the outside, because we have always been celebrated and validated in our doing and achieving.  Our worth and value is thus recognized in our accomplishments in what we do.  But it’s dangerous when we place how we feel about ourselves on external aspects or activities because those can be taken away in a moment, believe you me.

I’m not sure there’s anything more honoring and self-loving than listening and giving voice to your edge and limit.  This is what we should be celebrating, a woman or child who uses her voice and sets a limit.   Or a person who reflects, creates, writes or finds stillness.  Let’s celebrate and value the worth found in Being.  It is what is forever there, even in the absence of our doing or external success.  When we honor our needs and limits, we are allowing ourselves to fall into the arms of Great Mother Divine, supported, loved and feeling nurtured just by stepping into the energy of Being.  The heart erupts with gratitude as tears stream from our cores.  That is us uniting with the Divine…the art of self-love.  That is where we find true self-worth and value, by valuing and honoring ourselves and our edges.

And so it is…

Journal prompts…

How you can you pull-back from your edge?

What does that feel like to you…pulling back?

Please do share your thoughts and feelings.

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