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Another Simple Dark Moon Ritual

Tonight marks the Dark Moon, well the last of it anyways as we start a New Moon cycle in a couple of days.  This past month has been an emotional one, at times heavy and dark, and other times inspired and refreshing. It felt like we were navigating through dark tunnels trusting that at the end there would be light. However at times we’d grow tired of the dark or worry we wouldn’t find the end where the light was shining. And yet here we are arriving at the light, the end of the tunnel within steps.

This month I did a lot of cleaning, pondering, changing of the guard in my internal process. I had to teeter totter on lots of unknowns and usually I’d panic and assume or expect the worst. But this time, this month I changed my ways and told myself to expect the best, to envision everything working out. I felt calmer and more steady in the process and that has been a huge gift in and of itself. I followed my body’s lead and boundaries knowing it could mean everything I was building could collapse. It meant risking the outside creations that were coming my way and usually I’d just form into what was expected. But I can’t do that anymore and so I simply went inward and got to know my limits and set the boundaries to honour them and to trust this was the Divine way and path. I am risking a job doing this but it is my wellness on the line and it is me voicing what I can and can’t do for the first time ever. Id usually exist past my limits in my old life and keep going until collapse or illness. My struggle with my health and blood is really about me voicing and honouring my body and my limits and living in accordance with them, that is what I have learned. The superwoman cape is laid to rest. The real authentic version is on display.

This month too I cleaned out cabinets, files, and just crap that I had to let go. I rearranged furniture and smudged the bejesus out of my house, calling in new energy and clearing out the old mucky waters of fear or doubt.

So as we prepare for a new moon cycle let us lay to rest the old ways, the old patterns, the old negativity, the doubt, the fear, the doom… even the stuckness! Say goodbye.

DARK MOON SIMPLE RITUAL

So tonight we honor the old, we lay it to rest.  We take some moments alone, in silence, in retreat, in reflection and we hold the past, the loss, the end of era in our hands.  Maybe it’s an ending of a relationship or job, doubt, dead, uncertainty or whatever, we simply lay it to rest.  If you can grab a stone and write on it that which you wish to bury, to honor it’s death and ending.  Bury the stone into the Earth Mother under the dark moon sky and say your last and final good-byes.

Maybe you want to write a good-bye letter or simply say some words in your mind or out loud.

This clearing, this ending is prepping us for the new life, new energy that lies ahead.

For me it’s my old life.  It’s never coming back and I can come to accept that so the new one I’ve been trying on can fully blossom.  I don’t have to reach backwards anymore, clinging onto something that I can’t find.

Let’s clear the waters for the New Moon tomorrow.

And so it is 🙂

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Artwork created by Mickie Mueller.

Fantasy and Fairy Art of Myth and Legend
http://www.mickiemuellerart.com

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June full moon Energy & Soul Connecting Rituals.

This full moon the energy feels alive, electric, vibrational and active. It feels like a very masculine energy, a time when we are extremely busy… the pulse, the beat, the tempo is very fast paced and quick. There’s a lot of energy output going on as we work on manifestation, creating, doing and growing during this time and season.

And yet the words “feminine root” ( from the book Wild Feminine) is circling my busy aura, as though the energy is calling for my attention like a screaming bird in the sky.

I know I need to balance the busy masculine energy with tender, juicy, slower paced , alive, wild feminine connection. It’s tenderness and savouring of the radiant colours and experiences of summer life. My schedule feels so busy yet the need to pause and find stillness even for ten minutes feels necessary as though I need it to keep breathing.

This moon and Mars retrograde asks us to evaluate our schedules and energies. Are we balancing the feminine and masculine or at least honouring both aspects of our souls even though we may be lingering in the masculine elements at this energetic time. Are we still paying homage to the feminine ?

We need to root into our feminine natures when they are calling us home. It’s in this root that we are refuelled and filled with life force energy. It’s where our aliveness is tasted and swallowed so our connection to our own feminine wild soul is felt and experienced. It’s a place of conversing with Spirit, our guides, our ancestors and even the moon and stars so the magic and purpose of life is restored and refocused. It’s a slight, calm magical pulse of aliveness. A beautiful calm and alive contradiction.

So on this full moon the Grandmothers ask us to harness our energies that are grand and wide like a roaring fire and find the calm centre epicentre of the burning. Be the wood logs, be the air in the fire, or the blue in the flames and find the calm in the busy, dancing roar.

Read a book, journal, sit by a fire, do a feminine yoga like Yin or Restorative yoga and balance the energies. Take a Sacred pause. Stillness and contemplation are being called of us right now in brief moments amid the flaming busy energy of our lives.

Here are some journal questions for self reflection and connection during this lovely full moon. Sit by fire or light a candle. Brew some tea or summer juice and light an incense or two. Breath in the radiant full moon aliveness. Inhale the moon beams and let its magic and sparkle radiate in your cells.

1). What are you most happy and grateful for in your life right now.

2) put in a timer for five minutes and don’t lift your pen until the timer goes off. Just write what comes…. “I would love…”.

3) Imagine Grandmother Moon to become some sort of being… a person, animal, plant or element and invite her sit with you by the moon lit waters edge in your minds eye. Notice the gentle warm breeze and the burning fire. Lay a blanket for her and ask her a question, challenge or struggle you’d like guidance on. Give her an offering such as food or a gift like a necklace or bracelet. Perhaps it’s a stone. What does grandmother moon look like in form ? Just sit with this lovely energy and let her presence calm you. Let her answer you and give you guidance to your question. When you receive her words tell her thank you and ask if you can meet again. Imagine her returning to the moon on a moon beam when you are done and gently return to the present. Journal about your experiences.

Happy full moon friends xo Crystal

As always if love it if you FOLLOWED MY BLOG or the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page ❤️🎉

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June New Moon Energy and Ritual

Chaos to calm, getting centered, finding clarity through confusion, learning, process, messages from the struggle, finding one’s way to calm and peace through the storm.

These are words that come to mind right now. It feels like a volcanic time with lots of emotional eruptions and loss of self or loss of centering. It’s a time of chaos and overwhelm to make us root back down into our selves. It’s a time of cleansing and purification, a deep learning about oneself through challenges and struggles.

I feel held and weighed down by overwhelm and I’ve let it consume me. The amount of energy coming at me has enveloped me and I’ve lost my way, I’ve lost my centre, my calm, my rooted stance. So I step back and take up more space than the chaos. I create even more space between me and the chaos and stand calmly at the centre of the storm as it swirls around me like wretched grey storm clouds spiralling in the winds. I don’t get pulled in, I just witness and stay calm, trusting that I will not get pulled in as I stand firmly in my strength and power. (Or at least remind myself over and over to go to the centre and find the calm).

I have been a ball of anxiety lately and as I sat with my anxiety I let it it become a being or a symbol. I let it speak to me as though it were it’s own energetic being. It showed up as a punk angry teenager with slicked, greasy hair, ripped jeans and a leather jacket… and it/he let me have it. It told me how angry he was and how I need to call my power and strength back rather than let it leak all over the place and move into chaos and overwhelm. It asked for structure and organization, a map for my energy. As I let its’ needs spew onto the page the heaviness lessened. I imagined walking into the overwhelm as my strongest self and allowed myself to envision an image of my inner warrior Queen. I’m wearing red, flowing clothes (for grounding I imagine ) and have diamond jewelled bindis between and above my eye browns. I’m tall and fierce and wear a head wrap around my hair. My stance is linear and majestic. I imagine being this Self with my eyes closed and allow that energy to spread and expand into my body, feeling the energy of my inner warrior Queen ooze into my blood vessels and pump throughout my body. I savour the breaths of this energy.

I stand and breathe in this place and invite you to do the same. Invite your struggles to speak to you. Close your eyes and imagine your challenge were a being. What does it look like? Old or young? Male, female, animal or nature? What colours or unique qualities do you notice. Let it tell you what it is trying to say through your body… perhaps you just want to write for five minutes (timed) and free flow without letting your pen leave the page. Hear your struggle and assure it you will do your part to ease the symptoms .

Call in a feeling of harmony, love, peace, calm, strength or whatever you need and imagine it to be a golden ball of light spreading and expanding through your body. Savour the breaths and breathe it in.

“This current challenge or struggle is here to strengthen you. It is a process of strengthening and learning of heart, body and soul. You are preparing for your “real work ” . This is simply the preparation, so embrace the learning.” ( a message from my guides).

Happy New Moon 😘

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A Healing Ritual For the April Full Moon

moon lodgeHappy Full Moon Women’s Tribe 🙂  Here we are all the full moon and in the bingo bango bongo of four retrograde planets!  Eekers. It is a time evaluation, of reflection, of looking back at what needs to be healed in the past so we can carry forward with more ease and gentleness in the now and in our futures.  That is the gift of retrogrades.   It’s not always easy as our old stuff emerges and comes to the for front but heck, let’s let it.  Allow it.  Make room for it at the kitchen table as though it were your long lost aunt.  We must honor its’ existence and take a look.  Feel it.  Set it on its’ way…out of body, out of our bones, released from our tissue.

For me, I’ve been lingering in trauma memories.  I thought I had done my healing around this but life and emotional breakdowns, says the healing is not done.When I had my first baby my first husband just didn’t deal with the transition into fatherhood well and basically bailed.  He did it in a manner that was hurtful, in a way he knew best…to cheat and chose another woman.  My highest conscious Self knows that he wasn’t conscious or aware enough to talk and tell me that he was struggling or lost or unsure if he could handle being both a husband and father simultaneously.  And so he left and chose her.  He didn’t know how to say that he could not be who I needed or was asking of him so he acted it out to express it to me.  I get that on a soul level, but it was still emotionally and mentally devastating and one of the most painful experiences of my life.  (As well as the best thing that could have happened in the long run).  I associate having a baby with pain and struggle and loss.

I ended up on my own with baby, in a new apartment (he got the house), lost my job (found another), he got our dogs as he was in the house and me in an apartment.  And there I was in the threshold of new motherhood trying to keep my head above water, wondering if I could support myself and baby, manage motherhood and a full-time job, etc..etc..  It was devastating, so much change all at one time.  It was shocking actually.  I felt really abandoned and alone.  Navigating custody battles when you were wronged and nobody gave a poop was crazy making.  I struggled most with the fact that I could not be with my baby all the time cause of the choice he made, I had to lose time with my son.  I had to share custody.  There was little to no consequence for him or his actions…he got to keep the house (he did have to buy me out), he had his regular job, and he got what he wanted…to be a part-time dad all by betraying our vows, lying, and being with another woman.  I on the other hand got my world shattered and was continually told in court that I had to keep the emotional stuff separate from the custody, like I was not supposed to have feelings for what I went through.   I was treated like the problem, not him.  CRAZY. MAKING!

Anywho…years have passed.  I’m happily remarried with a new baby who’s almost 9months old.  Well my husband has been working out of town for the last few months and I have been on my own with the kids for weeks at a time.  It has totally triggered all those memories.  The emotions, the forgotten dark times, the memories I blocked out…all coming back with a vengeance….to the point I cry and cry and cry.  I’ve done trauma therapy, emotional release work, journalling, creative expression, you name it…I’ve released so much and yet the memories of being on my own with a baby linger in my gut, in my blood, in my immune system.  There is more to be released.

This full moon is asking us to revisit past sore spots and evaluate how they impact the now.  What’s been coming up?  An old relationship?  An old patter of self-sabotage or job loss or endings, break-ups, loss in general?  Allow it my friends. Pull out the chair and have it sit down with you.

FULL MOON HEALING RITUALsacred body 2

Find a cozy space, light a candle and some incents.  Have a cup of tea or a glass of wine and grab and pen and paper.  We are going to write a letter to ourselves in the past that was struggling (And still has some to release).  We are going to offer this part of ourselves what she needs.

Allow what comes…..but here’s some points to remember to include.

-Honor and recognized and validate your younger self’s feelings and experiences.

-Ask that part of you what she needs.

-Allow her to answer.

-Imagine bringing this part of you to a time in your past where you experienced and received what she is needing.  So if you are needing to feel love or trust, remember a time when you did.  Who’s with you.  What are you doing?  What season is it?   What time of day?  What are you doing together?  What are the smells in the air.  What colors and temperature is it?  Breathe in the sensation of experiencing what she/you needs.  Where do you feel it?  See it as a ball of energy and let it spread throughout your body, allow the feeling to expand and really experience it sensationally for a few minutes.

Write about it…and bring her back now with the memories.

 

Here’s mine.

To my 28 year old self,

First off, I see you. I hear you. I honor you.  I know how much pain you endured and you still carry.  I see it, I feel it, I honor that it’s there.  I think you are so strong for making it, for carrying on, for doing what you need to do to survive and care for your son.  I’m so proud of you.

I know you are struggling, I see you, I feel you, I hear you with all the emotions that you are arising within me….what do you need my love?

I need to feel not so alone…not so abandonned, not so isolated like I have to everything myself.  I feel trapped and caged and scared.  It’s so heavy and painful to carry it all myself.  I can’t believe I have to do this myself.

As I reflect on when I have felt the most supported and loved and held is when I was in Lynn Andrews School.  My classmates were my sisterhood.  And so I bring her to one of our circles and fires where they all gave me healing and love.   They drummed and rattled and held me in loving energy like I never felt before.  I was one of them, and they were part of me.  They held me, they supported me, they were always there for me, even though we lived all over the world.  I let them offer to her what they offered me then.  I imagine her feeling the drum beat and the sound of the rattles….we are in a dark space with candles and fairy lights and the smell of sage burning lingers in the air.  I tell her to let the drum fill her body up with strength and support and to feel the love.  I tell her to look into the fire and hear it crackle and to see how a web of women in the spirit world also connected to her and holding her, the Sisterhood of the Shields, the Grandmothers, her guides, her power animals, her ancestors, the fairies…they are all surrounding her and with her at all times giving her strength and power.   They all have a hand on her shoulder, she is the farthest thing from alone. I ask her to imagine that strength and love and power is like gold dust being sent from everyone in the room and in the energy world to her.  I ask her to imagine it going in her and with each inhale in her body and with each second that passes she is being beamed with the light of strength and sisterhood.

I close my eyes and feel the sensations with her.  I feel the web of women weaving love around me and her supporting us and holding us.    Each drum beat strengthens us with inner power and confidence.   I tell her to see it filling her body, to feel the confidence and love and support.  She does and so do I.  I can see she feels stronger and supported…a shift has happened I feel it in my heart chakra.  I thank everyone at the circle with us for such a powerful experience and I grab her hand and go through a door that lingers in a giant boulder into the now… bringing with us the felt experience and gifts of support and love and strength into the now.  I imagine putting a shawl on her to remind her of the hands that hugged her and literally have and touched her back offering their support.  I allow that image of her feeling stronger with her shawl in my heart to expand and fill my body.

And so it is….

 

Happy FULL HEALING MOON.

xo Crystal

If you feel called, I’d be so honored if you followed the BLOG or the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.

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Aries New Moon Ritual

Happy New Moon and the beginning of the New Astrological Year in Aries.  Woot woot.  The first New Moon in Aries starts another cycle around the zodiac and I always look forward to this moon.  It feels like another New Year feeling, a fresh beginning, a new clean slate.  Spring has begun to wake up and the ice in the river is cracking and the water is slowly starting to flow again.  We are waking up from hibernation and frozen-ness (I know not a word lol).  Life is beginning Her new cycle from death to birth once again.

This winter has been tough on me.  My family has been hit with a ton of sickness.  I sit here writing this with a current bout of pneumonia.  I have lost my sense of power this winter and it has showed up in my lungs, it has come as grief…as I can’t catch my breath remembering.

A circumstance of change threw me into a situation that I hate.  It brought me to my knees and back into painful trauma memories.  I felt like I was barely surviving only treading water and minimally keeping a float for months.  I have waited for the circumstance to change so I can get my power back, my well-being, and my sense of stability.  But the reality it is not changing for awhile.  So I must find my power again on my own.  I feel like I must rummage through a dark field and look for large gems that fell out of my soul, pick them up, put them in my basket and bring them back home.

So here’s the deal, this is a time of transformation and change and turning of the wheel and season.  Life is literally going to re-emerge in front of our eyes.

So plan 1…radical self-care.  I must strengthen my physical body.  I have 10 weeks left in this change of life and I am making weekly self-care goals and plans.  I’m arranging baby-sitters and potential outing/gathering opportunities.  This is part of gathering my soul marbles and gems back into my heart and body.

Plan 2…I have two goals that I want to complete and finish this season.  I will plan goals for this as well…one of them to start is to get ink for my printer as step one!  Its creating space and time and for the next ten weeks I feel called to focus.  Plan.  Start. Do.

What are your plans?

ARIES NEW MOON RITUAL:fortune teller

Light those candles, ignite your incense, invite over a friend or two and get out your paper and pens.  It’s time to dream, to go to the depths and beyond, the other worlds and invoke our lives with NEW LIFE.  So here we go…

Imagine that you are sitting across from A Wise and Loving Guide, a fabulous Intuitive/Seer and she pulls out a tarot deck.  She asks you flip as many cards as you feel you need.  What cards do you flip?  This is a unique deck, perhaps a never before seen deck and it has an image or word meant specifically to you.  There is no right or wrong, just what is.   Flip a card and ask the Wise and Loving Guide to give you a message with each one.  Just let what come, come and see what is there.  What messages do the cards have for you?

Ready, set go…write it out just float to the clouds with your pen.

At the end of your reading with this Wise, Intuitive, Loving Guide gives you a rock with a symbol on it.  What is the symbol?  What does it mean for you?  Grab it and pull it inward into your heart.  Soak in the blessing.

Grab a marker and a rock and make it come alive!!!

When you are done, imagine returning to your own body.  Grab a stone or rub your feet on the ground.

Happy Astrological New Year, and a year FULL OF LIFE and JOY!! And so it is.

xo

Crystal  .  As always I’d feel so honored and blessed if you FOLLOWED MY BLOG and Liked the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.  🙂

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It’s an Emotional Time – Write it Out :)

Lately, things have been tough on my end.  It’s been an intense New Year, filled with challenges, exhaustion and illness.  My son had pneumonia, my husband has been out of town working and I’ve been left to deal with the pockets of old trauma that keeps bubbling up from my past.

I have slept very little for the last six weeks due to my son’s (six months old) pneumonia.  I’ve had to “sleep” (I use this term loosely) sitting up with him laying on my chest, so he can breathe more easily.  His bouts of horrible coughing would occur anywhere between every half our to every two hours.  He is finally clearing it out.

I got pushed way past my physical, emotional, spiritual and mental limits and I did what I always do…  I did it anyways, I struggled, I didn’t ask for help when I should have and I landed in a hole of despair.  I’ve been addicted to struggle and pain a lot in my life, like it’s my norm.  Somehow it seems in my crooked thinking that it is noble, strong, and more badge worthy to struggle….badge worthy?!  What badges you ask….hell if I know ! LOL 🙂

Many of us are moving through some emotional intensity and struggle right now.  And what I’ve learned from my own is that we are being asked to do it differently, to heal in its grip, to let go…to lighten and free ourselves of the old stuck ways.

I put on what I think is my superhero cape and try and accomplish the impossible on my own…only to usually fall into an extreme exhaustion and despair and then resentment and a full blown pity party for not having help.  It’s my own fault, I don’t ask for it…I really struggle with this and I take the long, hard road that fills me with the most thorns.  Enduring pain became like a misguided map of strength for me.  It feeds into this wounded belief that I’m all alone, I only have myself to survive.  I’ve depended on it my whole life and yes at times it has helped but now it hinders my life.  It cracks open these awful, painful memories and emotions of abandonment and struggle from my past and I get frozen in the doom.  I leak tears and tears for days until I somehow snap out of it.  It’s time…I’m changing that old story!  I am not alone, I can count on people, I do have love and support from others.

To get out of this despair and exhaustion that leaves me weak at me knees, I’ve had to ask for help. I’ve had to pad my life up with support…getting a cleaner, exploring a mother’s helper or part-time nanny, getting babysitters, and that alone dries up the pools of doom.  I don’t feel so alone with support nets around me.

So let’s take a little emotional road on the page…yes?

 

EMOTIONAL PURGE ON THE PAGEwriting

-So what old belief systems are your emotions cracking open?  What is your current struggle?  What emotions are surfacing…why and when?

-What old archetypes/masks/personas have you used to survive that no longer serve a great purpose?  What patterns of thinking and behaving come from these personas?  What emotions are they masking?  For me it was superwoman/perfectionist and victim…they mask my fear for vulnerability….of needing help….like it will somehow make me unlovable and alone.  It comes from my past marriage when I was in a post-partum depression and I was ultimately abandoned and betrayed in my most vulnerable state.  The emotions of that time linger in my body…the devastation…the grief….they have been summoned out right now.  And it’s ok…it’s intense but it’s ok.  I am loved now…I am with a good man.  I am struggling yes but he holds and supports me in that.

Where, how, and when can you access love and support?

Are there images that give you hope and strength…as well as a sense of love and support?  See them…imagine them and send them into your body.  Feel them circulating in your body and feel all the strength, love , support and hope fill your cells and ignite and release the joy already inside of you.  

For me I see sunshine and rainbows, a tribe of women around me, ceremonial fires and circles….igniting alive what all fell asleep or burned out within me.  My heart expands, settles and softens in the presence and felt sense of these images.

 

And so it is friends 🙂

xo

Crystal

AS ALWAYS, IF YOU FEEL CALLED I WOULD BE SO HONORED IF YOU FOLLOWED MY BLOG 🙂

 

astrology, ceremony, new moon, Uncategorized

Aries New Moon Ritual.

new lifeHere we are at the Aries New Moon.  A new astrological year.  It is said it’s also a super moon, so this one feels more intense than usual.

The energies at this juncture are interesting.  I’m full of piss and vinegar, I want to get stuff done, get stuff going, get things off the ground. I’m spring cleaning (more releasing and getting rid of stuff) like crazy.    It could be a nesting phase but it’s also energetic I’m prepping, changing and clearing old energies for new ones.

I have 3 Spirit Masks I’ve made, all very similar. Dark blue with stars, feathers, sparkles…and I feel the urge to burn them..to transcend them from a separate entity of me to an embodiment within me as they turn to ash.  This is what this New Moon is calling of us…TRANSCENDENCE…CHANGE…it’s an invocation from the dark to light!

Yet there is still some darkness tonight, some aching of an old wound.  I’m going to be re-entering the place I was most wounded in my life.  When I had my son over 6 years ago, my world as I knew it collapsed.  My marriage ended in a traumatic way, I lost my house, my dogs, everything that surrounded me collapsed and crumble. It all died.

And here I am about a couple months away from birthing again.  I’ve rebuilt my life.  I have a new marriage, a new house, a new way of doing everything about my life.  It is 100% more authentic, built from my soul bones and yet the memory of the old pain, the trauma, the severe wounding lingers.  My wounded self, my ego wonders if it will happen again.  Will it crumble this time?  Will I make it through?  What does marriage and children look like in peace and calm and not survival and earth shattering loss?

It calls my vulnerability forth, the raw ache and memory of what happened but the fear envelops me and eats me alive like a savage beast.  I want re-assurance, a guarantee, I want safety and perfection of my husband and that is not fair.  I feel like I’m padding up with memory foam and duck taping it to every limb on my body.  I want us to be perfect, to communicate like professionals, to never be cranky or impatient, to live in this illusionary safe bubble of perfection so the possibility of me having to go through another life collapse feels smaller.  It is not a great way, it is the fearful way. It is taking it’s toll on me and on him.

This New Moon, feels like a call forward.  A howl from Grandmother Moon herself asking me to peel off the padding, release the fear and walk forward, onward in faith, in trust both in myself and my husband.

“What if you put the sword down?” she whispers to me.

What if I did walk forward with a knowing that it will be okay, whatever happens.  I’m sure it will be totally fine but I do know too that I can make it regardless of what happens.  I am one strong cookie and the universe, the Grandmothers, the lucky stars…they all have my back. Creation, love, the Earth Mother, they all got me and so does my husband.  I just need to stop swinging my sword in anticipation of doom and of death.

The reality is this…I am bringing in LIFE!  That is what this Aries New Moon, this first New Moon of the zodiac is about… LIFE!!  What do you want in your life??  Remove the cloak of doom and see LIFE!!!

ARIES NEW MOON RITUAL:fortune teller

Light those candles, ignite your incense, invite over a friend or two and get out your paper and pens.  It’s time to dream, to go to the depths and beyond, the other worlds and invoke our lives with NEW LIFE.  So here we go…

Imagine that you are a Seer, a magical, intuitive Seer.  You can see the life you want for the next year, the best things will happen, everything you want occurs….tell me what do you see????  How are these things occurring, what are you doing to help them along?  (Listen, she will tell you ) 🙂

Ready, set go…write it out just float to the clouds with your pen.

At the end of your reading with yourself as Seer, your magical, intuitive, goddess self gives you a rock with a symbol on it.  What is the symbol?  What does it mean for you?  Grab a marker and a rock and make it come alive!!!

When you are done, imagine returning to your own body.  Grab a stone or rub your feet on the ground.

Share with your friends or post here 🙂

Happy Astrological New Year, and a year FULL OF LIFE and JOY!! And so it is.

 

xo

Crystal

If you feel called, do feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG of Like The Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.  🙂  Blessings friends.

Picture 2 – from Pinterest.

astrology, ceremony, Full Moon, healing, meditation, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

A Healing Full Moon/Eclipse Ritual & Your Inner Queen

full moon march

Happy FULL Moon and Lunar Eclipse. The energies are brewing, the cauldron is stirring, the chaos,emotions, turmoil, struggles, and calls to grow and expand are bubbling.  Our unhealed shadowy selves are called to the surface so we can free them from the cages, free them from the rapture of old wounded ways and alas heal the cuts of the past.

Just the other day while walking my dogs, I heard this strange loud chirping in the trees. I’d never heard such a strange and loud gawk from birds before and wondered what the heck was calling in such in an unusual howl.  Then I seen my dogs jumping onto the bottom of a tree while an innocent ole’ ground hound gripped on for life to a branch near the top shrieking those unusual howls.

The Ground hog tells us…(from http://www.spirit-animals.com/groundhog/)

“You are being asked to explore altered states of consciousness deeper. The answers are within you – however you just have not dug deep enough to find the root of it. Groundhog can also be letting you know that you need to pay attention to your metabolism. Be aware of how your diet influences your natural bodies cycles and to make dietary adjustments to balance the workings of your body.

Alternatively Groundhog can be giving you fair warning that you have overstepped someone boundaries or someone is overstepping yours. Best is to resolve the situation with respect and from the heart.”

This full moon is in Libra, the sign about relationships.  Throw in a lunar eclipse and the intensity quadruples.  Lunar eclipses bring endings, shifts, and sudden change.

This fits well with Ground Hog’s message about boundaries, especially concerning relationships.  For me, I have someone in my life that I must deal with who constantly pushes and tries and over step my boundaries.  But I must look at the root, at my own causal piece in this.  I get thrown off, annoyed, frustrated, even irritated.  My mind sometimes loops into his trail of chaos and un-groundedness and  I literally start spinning with him until I remember to ground, stay firm, follow the agreements.

He rages, gets annoyed, calls me down, makes me the problem. But that’s okay.  My job is to figure out my stance.  As I enter the dream world to get some guidance and Higher vision on this circumstance, I see a large yard with a short white picket fence.  This is symbolic to my boundaries…nice, small, easy to step over.  So I ask my guides, how can I prevent him from stepping over my fence.

“Build a taller, stronger fence!” they say.

Of course! Keep things firm.  Don’t compromise, don’t adjust.  Focus on my peace, my emotional well-being, not his responses.  Easier said then done.  My inner cauldron of wounds, bubble over with feelings of fear and uncertainly.  I’m uncomfortable asserting my line knowing I will be met with resistance, with push back.  I get ready, get defensive, get myself preparing for the next set of attacks.  I want this response, this pattern to end.  It’s bullshit.  So I look inward to explore where the wound is so I can make the change.

I have this lingering patterned response, a neuro-conscious response (in mind-body therapy terms) where fear pumps into my chest when I must assert myself or express that my boundary has been crossed.  I feel childlike, timid, afraid of asserting my voice, my stance.  It stems from my childhood.  I’m afraid of getting into trouble.  But this belief, is old, tiresome, out dated.

So I follow the trail to the root.  Why am I afraid to assert myself? I know it stems from my dad, as much as I love him, when I was younger he yelled a lot when I’d try and find my voice.  It made me shrink in the face of conflict, authority, or anger.  I get afraid.  But what am I afraid of?  Being rejected? Being reprimanded?  Being wrong?

I get all twisted up in another’s point of view instead of remaining grounded in my own.  I start to question my accuracy, if I’m being selfish or the purity of my intent.  I doubt myself, and my knees start to wobble, I begin to feel weak and less confident in myself and my ability to assert my boundary begins to crumble.  I give in, stay silent and cower in the face of conflict only to beat myself up for stumbling.

There’a a connection to my voice, like somehow I won’t be believed or heard or honored. inner queenThere’s an old belief that my voice won’t be listened to so I go to the extreme defense protecting myself, trying to get validated, understood, and heard from the other person. This feels like to the root of my over-active immune system (auto-immune), always on the defense, hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant for attack and I must protect myself.  But there’s a difference between being overly cautions “on the defense” with being firm, assertive, and a Queen.  Rather than protecting my fence with a metal-suited soldier, I can call upon my inner Queen to simply stand there and energetically hold her presence.  There’s no defense, there’s confidence, certainty, trust in Herself, her power, her decision.  TRUST IN HERSELF! It’s just an energy of upholding the line, not defending it.

My inner Queen says to my inner child, “Who cares!  Who cares if he rejects you, you’ve already rejected him.  He can’t reprimand you and no, your feelings are not wrong.  Do not be afraid to expect your boundaries to be respected!  That is your right.”  

Expect to be respected. There is such power in that.  That is where my wound lies.  I have expected to be disrespected and prepare for this instead of standing firm in my right to be respected.  I will expect to be respected.  That just completely changes the energy of everything, don’t you think?! 🙂

“How can I feel as strong and confident as you?” my scared, child part asks my Queen.

“Put on your crown and cape little girl and believe in your own authority.”

I imagine my little girl with the crown and cape the Queen has gifted her and she feels naturally more confident and sure of herself.  She knows, she remembers, she owns that she is indeed a Queen. A Queen with power, assertion, and authority.  She commands the stage with her presence.

And so it is.

FULL MOON/ LUNAR ECLIPSE HEALING RITUAL:

Grab your journal, light a candle, put on some music and spark up an incense.  Drift inward, imagine seeing your inner child.  It’s time to dive inward to where we need balance and restoration.  It’s time to end old, wounded ways of being.

 

It’s time to dream, go inward and write and reflect with your magical inner world.  Get out your journals, turn on the switch to your imagination and travel into the healing gates of wonder…

1)Explore your inner parts, particularly your inner child, the wounded child.  What patterns, beliefs, wounds keep you stuck in old wounded patterns in your relationship? What does your inner child look like?  What are they wearing, what is their stance, what is their energy and presence?  What words or feelings come to mind with this part of you?

3) Think of a relationship with a certain person or people that you have been struggling with. Imagine the relationship dynamic or your presence in the relationships in the form of a landscape that reflects your boundaries and interactions within it.  What do you see and notice? What is there? What colors and images? What does this say about your patterns or wounded beliefs?

4)  Imagine seeing your inner Queen walking from her castle to this landscape. How does she move, feel and change the feeling with her presence?  What does she look like?

5) Ask her how you can heal this old pattern in your relationship or relationships and see if she will give you something, an object or objects to help you in shifting this old way of relating.

Share your experiences 🙂

And so it is!!!

 

This moon’s mantra.  “I assert my boundaries with ease by owning and stepping into my Inner Queen.”

 

Feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG or LIKE THE WOMEN’S TRIBE FACEBOOK PAGE, if you feel called 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A Letter to the Great Mother for the New Moon.

great motherWe have an Aquarius New Moon, a watery, emotional, soul quenching time to dive into our depths and ignite our souls.  The soul path is singing to us, can you follow the sound of the song even though you don’t know where the trail shall lead?  This is living with your instincts, trusting, following, being guided by Spirit.  The Sacred Feminine is awakening and beginning her Howl.  We have shed the shit out of the old now is the time to surrender, follow and trust in the new that is not yet in form but in motion.  The seeds have been planted but not yet sprouted, can you patiently await to see what comes and trust you will be supported?

On this day and night of the New Moon, you know the drill.  Take some Sacred Time, light some candles, burn some incents, play some soft music or wild feminine drums and write your soul blood onto the pages.  This moon, I invite you to write a letter to the Great Mother, the Sacred Feminine, The Goddess…She in any form.  Bear your soul.  Tell her about what you’d like to do in your life, your wild, alive dreams that are rambunctiously beckoning at you from within.  You feel the pecks of the wild call like little birds tapping their beaks at you ferociously for food.  Just see what comes.  This letter for me is deep, is soul-bearing is something I held tight to my heart for a good week now, and today I finished it.  So I invite you to write to Her, our Sacred Mother and bear your sweet soul.  Share your wishes, your struggles, and that what excites you or is calling you and know her arms wrap you and your life like a squishy, large, bosomed grandmother hugging you to your depths.  It is a time of brand new beginnings after and whole lot of shedding.  And so it is my dear friends.

Below is my letter to the Great Mother.   As always feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG if she calls to you and Like The Women’s Tribe FB page.

Xo Crystal

 

To the Great Mother, Goddess, Divine Feminine.

I understand you had to facilitate the end of my job.  I get that I finally had to let it go. I had no choice, my time was up.  It was time for the decision to be made.  I hear you whisper to me to simply let it go, something else is brewing, my health and my job just could not exist together.  

There’s an element of surrender you are asking from me, I see that, and yet I struggle to bow down and curtsy to you.  I know, I know….I must, there is no other choice.  On top of my health, I am with child now.  I certainly cannot risk the health of my child.  You knew this and dropped the surprise into my womb.  You knew I’d risk my own health out of fear of dropping my old professional role, so you helped me and anointed my womb with a life I would not offer any risk of harm.

As much as I trust your plan Great Mother, I am struggling in my shedding.  I feel like this final badge of honor that I was so desperately holding was the last petal that fell off and my old life is now completely gone.  I’m left with just myself, my stem, my roots and my uncertainty of what life is without all my bright, shiny petals surrounding me. I doubt my worth and it’s making me have to look into the insecure mirror.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall what the hell makes me worthy if all my petals are gone?”

As I gaze into my reflection, I see my fear wanting to reach for the fallen pieces of flower so I can glue them back on.  I’m used to being that flower, that bright, colorful flower.  And now I’m without any petals of definitions or badges of worth.  I’ve put all my marbles into the petals, believing they made me something.  I am this title, this role and I have this purpose and therefore I am good enough and I have value.  That job, that title meant I made something of my life, I succeeded, I became something.  And now…it’s gone.  I’m stripped down to my bones, my soul bones and have come to a cross-road.   I’m walking out into the world title free and it’s rattling me to the Core.  I feel weak in my knees, thin skinned, skeletal like.

I’ve fought hard for the Feminine, the Sacred Feminine to find it’s place at the throne alongside the masculine here in the physical world and it has been a battle.  I have fought hard but always kept my foot in the masculine world, to feel accepted, deemed okay, able to fit it.  My jobs were part of this.  My jobs allowed this and yet they were the same place I lost my connection to my soul.  I always knew I was not doing my soul’s work there, I felt like I was doing what was responsible and I accepted that.  Now, I feel like you are testing me and challenging me to see if I can walk my talk. Can I move in to my wild, feminine self and take it out to the world fully, not half assed.  You have cut my safety nets.

Here at am at the fork in the road.

“Can I fully believe that the Feminine is equally important, worthy and valuable in a world that doesn’t yet celebrate it?  Can I walk out of my house day after day and not get a single ego stroke for an external accomplishment? The bigger question, can I stroke my own soul and embrace and celebrate and honor the inner beauty, the feelings, the art, the expressions, the soul connections and the love that I leak out in the world and feel like this is enough?  Can I place equal value in my Beingness that I did in my doingness?”

I know that it will take a lot of work.  Getting external validation is like an ego boosting drug.  It will take truck loads of self-belief and a strong will.  I have to be for myself what I have sought out of others.  I will have to be my own love drug.  I have to give myself the love I have desperately needed out of others.

Phewf, is there a course on this…haha!  You know I’ve always felt a bit different in this world, like I don’t quite fit in, and now you are asking me to not only accept this but relish in it?  I know I don’t care about things like my eye brow shape or having the perfect lip liner, or Botox or the best clothes. I often buy used clothes.  

For some reason I was made to be soul oriented, not image oriented. I care about the trees, the Earth, the Sun and the Wind.  I love the nights when the moon shines bright. I love solitude and reflection and making art for no purpose other than to express myself.  I’m deep, emotional and intense (people don’t always like this).  I want to talk soul purpose, darkness, pain, struggle, wonder, enchantment, magic and mystery, not new kitchen gadgets.  I want to stare at the stars for hours and get lost in the night sky instead of going to the newest hot spot.

You know Great Mother, I felt like I do now once before at the age of thirteen. I had no great mother 2understanding of you but I felt the remembering of you in my blood.  I craved for your touch, your caress, your presence in my life like a child for her mother but I could not find you.  I could hear you call to me but I could not find my way to you.  Nobody showed me the path or taught me the way home to your presence.  I did not have the words or understanding of being without you in my life I only felt the despair, the emptiness, the lack of feeling okay.  I desperately wanted the ache of living without you to be seen, to be heard, to be understood and named.  But nobody knew of you or share you with me so I became the problem, not the world that denied you.  My eating disorder, my lack of coping, my short-comings needed development.  I became pissed off, I rebelled, I acted out my longing for your Sacred, for belonging, for being seen and I self-harmed, I smoked, toked and drank the booze to fill the emptiness.  I acted out my despair of living without you for living without you meant having to live without myself.

I see now, in this moment it was my journey.  It was the road I had to take to come back to the un-cloaked and un-titled soul that I was then and am again now. Life has stripped me down back to the raw, real, vulnerable soul that I was at thirteen, before I masked and imaged myself up.  

There are no distractions, no roles or personas or hats I’m wearing to cover up anymore.  I can see in this exact moment that I had to go through all that pain and addiction and acting out so I would have to seek out healing.  Healing allowed me to figure out what the hell I was feeling and unconsciously expressing.  I got to discover that I was born with the remembering of the Sacred Feminine within me and my path of healing was the place I was going to give birth to its’ existence in my life.  In my healing I discovered an understanding of things I had felt but never understood.  I learned how to free myself of eon old pain by remembering the you, the Sacred Feminine and inviting you to paint my life back into aliveness.

I had to learn how to be my own parent, healer, and best friend so I could prepare myself for this moment of soul return and walk a new path in a world that may not get or support it.  I had to ally myself up with my own love and acceptance and believe in you, the Great Mother to support, hold me and nourish me as I plunge in my feminine depths.

In some ways it’s easier to fit in, to walk the common path and belong.  It’s easier in the sense that you get support, validation and celebration for checking off all the “successful adult” boxes or get recognition and celebration for looking a certain way.  You get to swim with the other fish rather than against them.

Yet for me, it’s far more painful and gut wrenching to live in an inauthentic manner.  My soul begins to quiver and shrivel up like a snail laced with salt.  As it begins to fade away the despair, the depression, the doom and the anxiety circle me like a bunch of crows to a dead carcass on the side of the road. Living without my own self-connection and in alignment with my wild, feminine soul is a life of addiction and is massive self-destruction.  I cannot do it.  Death would take my hand if I did.  And I have not wanted to accept this.  I have wanted to change the norm, to challenge the norm, rather than being faced with the task of living a different life, on the lonely trail of the non-norm.

I have nothing left but to keep following my spirit lead instinct and make a new trail, make a new life in the bushy, dark, jagged trail that waits to be touched and cleared.  This is my purpose.   Sigh*!

Do I wish my purpose was as linear as becoming an accountant or nurse or pavement maker.  Yes!!!! I wish it was wrapped with such a pretty, titled bow.  But for some reason my purpose is not that describable or that easily coined.  I cannot put it on a business card. I cannot name it in one word.

I can only be brought back to you Great Mother and thus myself, over and over. Can I love myself enough to be wildly different and live un-boxed?  Can I be an artist of life, or a lover of Creation, a magician, an expressionist or even a beauty maker rather than a Home Care Case Coordinator and be okay with that?  Can I give up my fancy titles and follow my wild spirit because this is what life is asking of me in this moment even though others will challenge me to grab a role?  It feels big, un-contained and un-packaged and it’s uncomfortable, yet dare I say exciting?!

Can I believe in Creation, in Spirit, in Divinity, in you Great Mother and just follow the off- beat call of the wild? All I can do is try, experience it all and share.  I can only dive into the magic and the darkness, the pit of loneliness that feels like my life is at times and trust that somehow this is my soul path.

I have one of those birthday books that tell you about yourself based on the date of your birth and the title of mine is called, “The Lone Wolf.”  How fucking fitting!

Ha!

So here I am, a flower without it’s petals but still alive, still with a solid stem and roots. I wonder if anyone ever appreciates the stem of a flower or how the roots keep it alive.  It’s funny how when you are most yourself you risk being the most unseen, the most in-validated.  Being this vulnerable, real, raw is not so much seen as brave and courageous as much as it is seen as a nuisance and instability…hahaha!  That kind of makes me laugh for I connect most to those who have made beautiful sculptures out of the shit life dealt them.

And so I trek on, back to the point on the trail I left when I was thirteen with a hell of lot more knowledge and self-respect and courage to walk onto my path as a feeler, a loner, a color and magic inducer and a sharer of it all.

I howl on…

Signed,

The Lone Wolf…

🙂

 

 

Photo sources:

Photo 1-lightgrid.ning.com

Photo 2 – valerielenton.wordpress.com

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Simple Solstice Ritual

“Whatever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it.  Because the attempt to escape from pain creates more pain.” – The Tibetan book of Living and Dying.

solsticeI’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of suffering lately.  Many of people have gone through struggle, loss and up-upheaval this past year or years.  Lots of healing and change and struggle is being called of us, from us, for us.

I have been un-well for some time and it’s gotten a hold of me.  It’s bonded me and shackled me into the pain and discomfort and dare I say…self-pity. Here’s the bold truth…I’ve been struggling, I’ve been suffering.  For some reason I have a hard time putting that out there, perhaps it feels vulnerable, the why of the matter I am unsure.  I usually try and exude a positive, accepting vibe about my illness but lately…I just can’t.  I haven’t been well.  I’m having a small pity-party. (Or maybe a full blown romper lol).

Part of me wonders too if people don’t want to hear about suffering.  We live in a society where people are uncomfortable with it, with pain, with loss, with heavy, dark emotion.  We don’t like to hear about it or sit with it. Let’s face it, we’ve been taught not to talk about that stuff, not to burden other people with our problems.

People are uncomfortable with pain and often just want to offer an quick solution or idea so we can move us out of pain and suffering.  The intention is absolutely loving but sometimes we just need to be held, to be offered space to feel darkness, sorrow and pain and that’s tough for many to offer because they don’t know how to do so for themselves.

So I’m aware that my pattern is that get quiet and isolate and battle with the struggle in a sword fight all on my own when I’m in pain or struggle.  (This is why I’ve been quiet in my writing…sorry folks, it’s a bad pattern I’m working on).  In fact, I want to own that I’m suffering and say it’s okay and that I need connection in suffering and I imagine you do to.  I need to know I’m not alone and I’m learning that I absolutely am not!! And that we all have suffering, so let’s get talkin’ bout it and supporting each other while we move through it….yeah?!  🙂

What I’ve been learning and reading from Buddhist texts is that life is suffering.  There will always be suffering, we all will suffer at various points in our life whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually and really all that we ought to do is accept this notion.  There is suffering in life.  Say it with me, “there is suffering in life.”

This is an easy and yet tough concept that I’ve been playing with.  I’ve been trying to sit in my suffering, like really move into it.  I close my eyes and settle into the suffering in my body and it’s weird…it dissipates, it softens,the edges sting less.

Perhaps it’s from not battling what is, there is a gentle release in my body. The defenses soften.

So, often when I’m “suffering” with physical discomfort or even emotional discomfort I try and battle my way out of it with thought or action or even will power.  I positive affirmation out my yin-yang to try and pretend I am not suffering or to adjust out of it.   I fight what is.  I fight the truth of discomfort and pain while I try to cover the Truth with a lovely balmy protective salve, rather than accept and allow it.  My mind and body separate, battle for control, argue and I end up exhausted, depleted and still feeling under the weather.

So the last few nights I’ve allowed my “suffering” to be my meditation.  To soften and melt into it and allow the moments to be there.  It is freeing! Like radically freeing.  I even get a slight buzz on the inside, a elation, a joy, a meeting of sparkly truth that I can feel.

Here’s a brief summary on some Buddhist teachings (very brief) from http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/bs-s03.htm

“Suffering is a fact of life. There are four unavoidable physical sufferings; birth, old age, sickness and death. There are also three forms of mental suffering; separation from the people we love; contact with people we dislike and frustration of desires. Happiness is real and comes in many ways, but happiness does not last forever and does not stop suffering. Buddhists believe that the way to end suffering is to first accept the fact that suffering is actually a fact of life.”

So on this Winter Solstice (in the Northern Hemisphere), and the darkest day of the year, I invite you into your own darkness, your own pains and wounds and simply let them be there. Melt into them for a few moments as a Sacred Witness to what is at this moment. Where do you feel struggle in your body?  And can you just move into it, gently, softly, lovingly?  See what happens.  And like wise, move into your joy and happiness as it sways in your life as well. We will all move through the tides, the highs and lows of life.  May we do so consciously, lovingly and with awareness and acceptance.

Simple Solstice Ritual:solstice2

On this lovely Solstice, get out your paper and pens.  Light a lovely candle or two, perhaps some incense, get yourself a cup of tea and have a divine union with yourself and Creation on paper.

  1. What have been some of your struggles this past year?  List them and underneath them, write about the gifts, the benefits, the positive outcome(s) of these struggles.  What did you learn or acquire from the struggle?
  2. What were some of your highlights this year?  What sacred and special moments really resonate in your soul and heart?
  3. What wishes do you have for yourself and the ones you love this coming season and year?

Enjoy this lovely day of darkness, retreat, rest, and reflection.  I honor you and your path.  I honor you and your joy as well as your suffering.

And so it is.

If you feel called and would like to get more soul nourishing goodies, I invite you to FOLLOW THE BLOG.  I’d be tinkled pink 🙂

Photo2:http://yukoart.com/blog/happy-winter-solstice/