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How Illness Can be an Opportunity for Soul Work.

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Hi Friends

I want to share a powerful healing journey with you I’ve been going through.  I recognize we won’t have exact experiences but I hope somehow it resonates for you in your own life, with your own particulars.

I have been struggling with my chronic illness lately, having to do a lot of blood infusions  and dealing with a lot of inflammation, particularly in my large intestine this time around.  I am a believer and student of mind/body medicine and ways of the Sacred Feminine, meaning I know my body has something to tell me.  Illness and inflammation are always messengers from my deepest Self and health challenges are an opportunity for healing if we choose to explore it as such.

So after five days of struggle, I finally sit down and listen.  After some podcasts and reflections these questions have emerged.

  1.    How am I showing up for myself in my life?
  2.    What are ways I can show up for myself in my life more often and what does                 that look like?
  3.    How do I need to show up for myself and my soul more regularly?

 

Here we go…

I have not been showing up for myself in my life at all lately.  I hear my grumbling, tired soul and body and instead of tending to it, I’ve been zoning out, watching tv, going to sleep, keep busy busy busy.  My mind has been swirling with ideas, and new goals but I’m spinning in stuckness not putting pen to paper, just living in the land of busy mom and not showing up for myself.  That is step one, recognizing the problem.

I can show up for myself more often perhaps in little segments or tidbits.  I need to schedule it in during kid naps and block off at least one evening a week to do some deep soul pouring and get my course written/created.  In the meantime I can light candles, listen to podcasts as I clean or hang with baby, and keep moving my body in loving ways.

How do I need to  show up for my soul more often?  I think and feel I really need to commit to taking 10-20 minutes each evening, writing, journaling, reflecting, pondering, whatever that may be and check-on.  I just need to create me soul space in my life.  Writing is part of that for me and helps me move out my stuck thoughts.  And I need to commit like my health depended on it, cause my body is telling me it is!

 

In mind-body medicine and energy healing irritations with the LARGE INTESTINE have to do with, “crying spells, confusion, irritation, frustration, stagnation, and anger.  Thinking that you can’t do any thing right.  Wanting to run away and hide form the world.  Feeling that you are too different and that no one understand you.  Difficulty seeing other people’s point of view. Dogmatically defending your position in arguments. Extremely sensitive, thin-skinned.”  (The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal pg.64)

I resonate with all of this.  I’ve been spinning, stuck, overwhelmed, lost, scattered and thus frustrated.  I have had crying meltdowns in my overwhelm, feeling like I keep trying to swim to shore but can’t find the shore.  I realize now I just needed to stop swimming, take a look and make a plan.  Take one step at a time and cut some things out that I’m not quite ready for.  Visualize where I’m going and focus on each pearl on the thread one by one.  I’ve been trying to hold three or four chains of pearls and I’m spinning in stickiness not knowing which one to focus on.

 

So on this lovely October day, I invite you go through the questions listed above and just free flow your pen to page.  Set a timer for 5 minutes and don’t lift that pen up til the timer goes off.  Invite yourself back into your life.  Please share your findings in comments.

 

If you’d like to receive free self and soul connecting activities and rituals, please FOLLOW MY BLOG (hit the button) and I’d love for you to join the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page as well.

With warmth

Crystal

 

 

 

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A Full Moon & Your Own Soul Devotion

releasing moonWow, it’s the full moon already.  And it’s a gorgeous, bright, super moon, meaning the moon is closest to the Earth and appears bigger.  We feel things more intensely.  It’s a bigger impact on us in the most fabulous of ways.

This full moon calls us to get focused, find clarity and take action.  This moon falls in the sign of Taurus, an earthy sign.  And it asks us to tend to the physical.  Get scheduled, make lists, eat well, rest, exercise.  Take extra care of our bodies.

As I sat and felt the energies of Grandmother Moon, I was asked “What experiences of felt senses do you want in your life?” Hmmm…what do I want to feel?  What am I looking to experience?  For me, I want connection, inspiration and joy.  Now my task is to define how I shall accomplish this.  How can I seek connection with others?  How can I find inspiration?  What offers me joy?

The key here this month alongside clarity, focus and action is devotion.  Are we devoted to the feelings and experiences we seek?  Are we devoted to find them?  Or are we more devoted to other things?  Or are we simply distracted and not devoted.  This is my intent this moon, to live with devotion to myself and my soul path and for me that is making some changes.  It is being more committed, more disciplined in devoting my awareness, my thoughts, my actions, my feelings to my soul and my deep spiritual longings.  It is jotting ideas down and beginning to take steps to do the ideas…now!

It is committing to discovering where and how I can find connection with others, others who seek deep, soulful nourishment just like me.  It is walking around in my life with my heart wide open, cracked into the awe of the universe.  It’s intense for me to feel so deeply, so often.  I’m still learning to balance that.  Sometimes in yoga, just by sitting in my vulnerability, in my cracked wide open realness, heart chakra just there and un-protected I feel anxiety.  I am devoting my energy this month to explore this, to sit with it more,to get curious about this old pattern.

I pulled a tarot card for the Full Moon and the card “Stand Your Ground” emerged from the Psychic Tarot deck by John Holland. “…Be brave and true to your core life values and belief system, which are your best allies and will help you move forward.  It’s important to remain clear and focused, for you may have to stand alone and defend your convictions at the end. Maintain your health and stay strong so that you have an ample supply of energy to endure anything, as this could be a long and arduous yet, ultimately, hard-won victory.

A perfect card for a Taurus Full Moon.  For me I’m doing a bit of a cleanse, no alcohol for at least 30 days.  I want to stay clear and focused, refreshed,  That means no glass of wine here and there to soothe the anxiety, agitation or emotional tugs coming forth from my own guidance system.  It’s intense, at times I simply want to shut it off but instead I must distract another way or sit with it, feel it, simply let it be there talking to me, guiding me.  This will allow me to move forward with clarity.  I have been a bit strapped and tethered to inertia, in stuckness, I must shake up the routine to get out.  I must practise devotion, devotion to myself and my health, like it were it’s own spiritual practice.  I am choosing a devotion practise of no alcohol, every day yoga, reading, meditating.  I am devoting to my art and creations, both furniture re-purposing and writing.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to flee…often. I want to have a glass of wine and unplug, shut off, disconnect…take a break.  But I am devoting and committing to my center, to my goal of health, to my art as though it were a Divine practise, an act of power.  It’s tough shit!! lol but very healing, deepening and interesting.

Full Moon Writing Ritual – Devotion.

Set up a special space, incense, candles, maybe some music.  Get out your journals and pens. And here we go…

So ask yourself…”What experiences or felt experiences do you want in your life?  Just write and see what comes. How do I get these? With who? Where? When? How?

The word Devotion has been on my mind lately.  What does devotion mean to you? Where are you devoted in your life and how?  What if you had devotion to your soul?  What would that look like?  Put your timers on for 6 minutes and just free flow write. Do not lift your pen off the page as you answer each question.  Particularly, what would it look like it you had devotion to your own soul?

And so it is friends 🙂   Happy, healthy Full Moooooonnnn!!

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Photo: Full Moon Ritual by Patricia Telesco, ©1999