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June full moon Energy & Soul Connecting Rituals.

This full moon the energy feels alive, electric, vibrational and active. It feels like a very masculine energy, a time when we are extremely busy… the pulse, the beat, the tempo is very fast paced and quick. There’s a lot of energy output going on as we work on manifestation, creating, doing and growing during this time and season.

And yet the words “feminine root” ( from the book Wild Feminine) is circling my busy aura, as though the energy is calling for my attention like a screaming bird in the sky.

I know I need to balance the busy masculine energy with tender, juicy, slower paced , alive, wild feminine connection. It’s tenderness and savouring of the radiant colours and experiences of summer life. My schedule feels so busy yet the need to pause and find stillness even for ten minutes feels necessary as though I need it to keep breathing.

This moon and Mars retrograde asks us to evaluate our schedules and energies. Are we balancing the feminine and masculine or at least honouring both aspects of our souls even though we may be lingering in the masculine elements at this energetic time. Are we still paying homage to the feminine ?

We need to root into our feminine natures when they are calling us home. It’s in this root that we are refuelled and filled with life force energy. It’s where our aliveness is tasted and swallowed so our connection to our own feminine wild soul is felt and experienced. It’s a place of conversing with Spirit, our guides, our ancestors and even the moon and stars so the magic and purpose of life is restored and refocused. It’s a slight, calm magical pulse of aliveness. A beautiful calm and alive contradiction.

So on this full moon the Grandmothers ask us to harness our energies that are grand and wide like a roaring fire and find the calm centre epicentre of the burning. Be the wood logs, be the air in the fire, or the blue in the flames and find the calm in the busy, dancing roar.

Read a book, journal, sit by a fire, do a feminine yoga like Yin or Restorative yoga and balance the energies. Take a Sacred pause. Stillness and contemplation are being called of us right now in brief moments amid the flaming busy energy of our lives.

Here are some journal questions for self reflection and connection during this lovely full moon. Sit by fire or light a candle. Brew some tea or summer juice and light an incense or two. Breath in the radiant full moon aliveness. Inhale the moon beams and let its magic and sparkle radiate in your cells.

1). What are you most happy and grateful for in your life right now.

2) put in a timer for five minutes and don’t lift your pen until the timer goes off. Just write what comes…. “I would love…”.

3) Imagine Grandmother Moon to become some sort of being… a person, animal, plant or element and invite her sit with you by the moon lit waters edge in your minds eye. Notice the gentle warm breeze and the burning fire. Lay a blanket for her and ask her a question, challenge or struggle you’d like guidance on. Give her an offering such as food or a gift like a necklace or bracelet. Perhaps it’s a stone. What does grandmother moon look like in form ? Just sit with this lovely energy and let her presence calm you. Let her answer you and give you guidance to your question. When you receive her words tell her thank you and ask if you can meet again. Imagine her returning to the moon on a moon beam when you are done and gently return to the present. Journal about your experiences.

Happy full moon friends xo Crystal

As always if love it if you FOLLOWED MY BLOG or the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page ❤️🎉

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June New Moon Energy and Ritual

Chaos to calm, getting centered, finding clarity through confusion, learning, process, messages from the struggle, finding one’s way to calm and peace through the storm.

These are words that come to mind right now. It feels like a volcanic time with lots of emotional eruptions and loss of self or loss of centering. It’s a time of chaos and overwhelm to make us root back down into our selves. It’s a time of cleansing and purification, a deep learning about oneself through challenges and struggles.

I feel held and weighed down by overwhelm and I’ve let it consume me. The amount of energy coming at me has enveloped me and I’ve lost my way, I’ve lost my centre, my calm, my rooted stance. So I step back and take up more space than the chaos. I create even more space between me and the chaos and stand calmly at the centre of the storm as it swirls around me like wretched grey storm clouds spiralling in the winds. I don’t get pulled in, I just witness and stay calm, trusting that I will not get pulled in as I stand firmly in my strength and power. (Or at least remind myself over and over to go to the centre and find the calm).

I have been a ball of anxiety lately and as I sat with my anxiety I let it it become a being or a symbol. I let it speak to me as though it were it’s own energetic being. It showed up as a punk angry teenager with slicked, greasy hair, ripped jeans and a leather jacket… and it/he let me have it. It told me how angry he was and how I need to call my power and strength back rather than let it leak all over the place and move into chaos and overwhelm. It asked for structure and organization, a map for my energy. As I let its’ needs spew onto the page the heaviness lessened. I imagined walking into the overwhelm as my strongest self and allowed myself to envision an image of my inner warrior Queen. I’m wearing red, flowing clothes (for grounding I imagine ) and have diamond jewelled bindis between and above my eye browns. I’m tall and fierce and wear a head wrap around my hair. My stance is linear and majestic. I imagine being this Self with my eyes closed and allow that energy to spread and expand into my body, feeling the energy of my inner warrior Queen ooze into my blood vessels and pump throughout my body. I savour the breaths of this energy.

I stand and breathe in this place and invite you to do the same. Invite your struggles to speak to you. Close your eyes and imagine your challenge were a being. What does it look like? Old or young? Male, female, animal or nature? What colours or unique qualities do you notice. Let it tell you what it is trying to say through your body… perhaps you just want to write for five minutes (timed) and free flow without letting your pen leave the page. Hear your struggle and assure it you will do your part to ease the symptoms .

Call in a feeling of harmony, love, peace, calm, strength or whatever you need and imagine it to be a golden ball of light spreading and expanding through your body. Savour the breaths and breathe it in.

“This current challenge or struggle is here to strengthen you. It is a process of strengthening and learning of heart, body and soul. You are preparing for your “real work ” . This is simply the preparation, so embrace the learning.” ( a message from my guides).

Happy New Moon 😘

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An Energy Practise & Ritual for the December Full Moon.

Happy full moon friends. The energy may feel intense as we have a super moon meaning the moon will be bigger and brighter in the sky as it’s closer to the earth. It’s also when mercury goes retrograde. So lots of energy swirls and swoons moving us all around.

This full moon feels like a time of reflection and reconsiderations. It’s a time of laying out all the cards in our life and evaluating them. Take a look what do you see? For many of us we have tried to force or figure things out of how they are going to be but the Universe has instead thrown us some curve balls and removed the paths we thought we might take. It’s easy to feel defeated or uncertain but the Universe is asking us to trust that something greater is in the works. Something greater is in the matrix of manifestation if we can keep our energies open and trusting.

This is what retrogrades are all about… time to reflect and re-evaluate. It’s also a time to explore our need for renewal and refresh our energies. Just take a step back and observe while allowing the energies to tweak and peak as they need.

It’s tough to be patient and persevere but that is what this full moon is asking of us. We may need to take a new path and let something go even though this feels fearful and uncertain. It’s like we have a choice to go back to the old familiar way or risk to trust that there is a new form, a new way, a new balance emerging even though we can’t quite see the edges of it yet. It’s there …we can feel it… just dream it, sense it and call it in. Let it tickle your nose and call you into its energy.

Full Moon Energy Practise.

All we need to do this month is sit and breathe. It’s a time of practising trust and patience and envisioning ourselves feeling great and happy. Expect the best! Expect and believe that it will all work out . Make it an inner knowing… a softness inside. Feel the energy of it working out. Close your eyes and see yourself feeling your best. Feel it in your body where do you feel that ? What do you feel? Just sit in this energy throughout the month and allow the universal energies to untangle what is into what it is meant and needs to be. Take care of yourself this month. Spend time reflecting, breathing, listening. Get a massage or two, light some candles, make a fire, have some hot cocoa or tea. Let the Universe and Creation that lives all around you swaddle you like a warm fuzzy blanket and feel caressed and soothed while the energies work themselves out for your very best to emerge.

And so it is friends.

As always if you feel called, feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG or the Women’s tribe Facebook page for Moon rituals and soul connecting activities. 😘

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A Wind-Song Ritual for the Equinox

Happy Fall Equinox(or Spring depending on where you live) my friends.  This is the day when light and dark are equal.  A balance of yin and yang on the Earth one might say.  I love the fall, the changing color of the leaves, the crisper feel of the air, and the call to begin the draw inward with some cozy candles and pumpkin spice smells.  It’s a time of sweaters and boots, scarves and leggings.  I don’t know about you but I really enjoy each change of season and the changing of energies that come with them.  In Canada we feel the change of each four seasons and I absolutely love that.

So on this Fall Equinox the energy calls for a cleansing, a purifying of the air and a bringing in of the new life and energy.  We are all going through major changes at this time so I hope you find this fitting as well.

A WIND-SONG RITUAL
Open up many windows in your home and invite in the beautiful, crisp and luscious autumn air. Allow the breeze to sing a lovely transition song through your home as she cleanses the energy and brings in new light and life force during this equinox.  Call in the Great Spirit and Great Mother, angels, fairies, spirit animals, guides and ancestors or whomever you feel connected to to help you in your ritual.  Feel the spirit of transition, manifestation and harvest in your home.  Feel how abundant you are in love and shelter. Feel the simultaneous warm and cool breeze as she caresses your cheek. Close your eyes and hear the wind sing to you. What does she say?
If you have, dab a bit of tea tree oil or sage oil onto your screens as a means to cleanse the air or light incense and allow the breeze to move the cleansing smoke throughout your home.

Enjoy your new and shifted energy.

And so it is my friends.

If you called, I’d love it if you FOLLOWED THE BLOG OR The Women’s Tribe Facebook Page for more more rituals and soul work.

Enjoy! xo

Crystal

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Teachings of the Duck For the September New Moon.

Image result for duck images

Happy New Moon!  Doesn’t a new moon always feel like a fresh, new beginning each month?  Well, this one is a fresh, new, grand beginning and a new way of life.

This is the time to take the chance.  This is the time to take action.  This is the time to do what you have always wanted to do.

So make the call, send in the resume for a new job, put an offer on a new house, make the choice for remodeling or adding on to your house…whatever it is…take that leap.  Make a change, take the new path…this is the time.

The last few days many, many groups of ducks have been visiting my yard.  We are talking like twenty at a time.  I feel they have been carrying the message for this Moon.

Duck symbolizes good luck and fortune.  It’s a time of preparation meeting opportunity creating good luck if we are prepared of course.

“If duck crosses your path to catch your attention for there are opportunities to explore. She reminds if you do not take swift action you will miss out. Do not procrastinate if you are interested.”  (http://dreamstop.com/duck-dream-symbol/)

This is a time not to focus on how it’s going to work, it’s simply a time of action and allowing the chips to fall where they may…trusting and knowing it will all work out as is.  All you have to do is explore the opportunity and take that chance and act upon your instincts, your inner knowing of what is calling and pulling at the strings of your heart.

There will be moments where we over think or worry or doubt…just let it blow away as it comes.  Just act and allow what is to come.  Act and follow the wind, follow the flow…follow your inner knowing. Time for a luscious new start.

On this New Moon, decide to take an action, a new start, a new class, a new date, a new car, a new house, a new job…a new opportunity of some sort.  That’s it…sit with it…envision it, know it in your bones.  Write it down and make a plan.

And so it is my friends.

As always I’d be so honored if you Followed My Blog or The Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.

Blessings and warmth and happy new changes as we enter the harvest season

🙂  xo

Crystal

 

 

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A Delightful and Simple April New Moon Ritual.

The new moon has arrived after a tumultuous month of retrogrades and chaos and unearthing of what was/is unhealed within us.  

As I sit with the energy of this moon I keep hearing the word JOY.  Joy, joy, joy.  It’s funny cause one of my good pals and I were discussing how to create more joy in the busyness of raising kids, cooking dinners, soccer, homework etc.  Sometimes the responsibilities of life mutes the colours of joy as we get caught in the web of routine.

I was brought back to the simple question of… “what makes me joyful.” And this is something I really need to discover cause to be honest I don’t quite know.  I know what used to but life has changed and it’s something I need to explore again.

A Delightful New Moon Ritual

So on this new moon I invite you to join me in taking some quiet and sacred space, light a candle, have a cup of tea and put the word JOY at the centre of your page.  Take a few centering breaths and just free flow with what makes you joyful… no thinking just pen flowing and see what comes.

Make a commitment to create pockets of joy in your life.  Maybe throughout the day you take ten minute increments in doing something that ignites your joy or makes you laugh or settles and soothes your soul.

And so it is my friends

Xo

Crystal 

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Aries New Moon Ritual

Happy New Moon and the beginning of the New Astrological Year in Aries.  Woot woot.  The first New Moon in Aries starts another cycle around the zodiac and I always look forward to this moon.  It feels like another New Year feeling, a fresh beginning, a new clean slate.  Spring has begun to wake up and the ice in the river is cracking and the water is slowly starting to flow again.  We are waking up from hibernation and frozen-ness (I know not a word lol).  Life is beginning Her new cycle from death to birth once again.

This winter has been tough on me.  My family has been hit with a ton of sickness.  I sit here writing this with a current bout of pneumonia.  I have lost my sense of power this winter and it has showed up in my lungs, it has come as grief…as I can’t catch my breath remembering.

A circumstance of change threw me into a situation that I hate.  It brought me to my knees and back into painful trauma memories.  I felt like I was barely surviving only treading water and minimally keeping a float for months.  I have waited for the circumstance to change so I can get my power back, my well-being, and my sense of stability.  But the reality it is not changing for awhile.  So I must find my power again on my own.  I feel like I must rummage through a dark field and look for large gems that fell out of my soul, pick them up, put them in my basket and bring them back home.

So here’s the deal, this is a time of transformation and change and turning of the wheel and season.  Life is literally going to re-emerge in front of our eyes.

So plan 1…radical self-care.  I must strengthen my physical body.  I have 10 weeks left in this change of life and I am making weekly self-care goals and plans.  I’m arranging baby-sitters and potential outing/gathering opportunities.  This is part of gathering my soul marbles and gems back into my heart and body.

Plan 2…I have two goals that I want to complete and finish this season.  I will plan goals for this as well…one of them to start is to get ink for my printer as step one!  Its creating space and time and for the next ten weeks I feel called to focus.  Plan.  Start. Do.

What are your plans?

ARIES NEW MOON RITUAL:fortune teller

Light those candles, ignite your incense, invite over a friend or two and get out your paper and pens.  It’s time to dream, to go to the depths and beyond, the other worlds and invoke our lives with NEW LIFE.  So here we go…

Imagine that you are sitting across from A Wise and Loving Guide, a fabulous Intuitive/Seer and she pulls out a tarot deck.  She asks you flip as many cards as you feel you need.  What cards do you flip?  This is a unique deck, perhaps a never before seen deck and it has an image or word meant specifically to you.  There is no right or wrong, just what is.   Flip a card and ask the Wise and Loving Guide to give you a message with each one.  Just let what come, come and see what is there.  What messages do the cards have for you?

Ready, set go…write it out just float to the clouds with your pen.

At the end of your reading with this Wise, Intuitive, Loving Guide gives you a rock with a symbol on it.  What is the symbol?  What does it mean for you?  Grab it and pull it inward into your heart.  Soak in the blessing.

Grab a marker and a rock and make it come alive!!!

When you are done, imagine returning to your own body.  Grab a stone or rub your feet on the ground.

Happy Astrological New Year, and a year FULL OF LIFE and JOY!! And so it is.

xo

Crystal  .  As always I’d feel so honored and blessed if you FOLLOWED MY BLOG and Liked the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.  🙂

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First New Moon of the Year Ritual.

This is the first New Moon of the year.  Can I get a woot woot?  This month has felt tough.  We january-moonhave been clearing the emotional and psychic debris of 2016.  For me this has even manifested in my whole family being sick…pneumonia, bronchitis, a chronic cough.  I have had little to no sleep in weeks and it is tough.  I have been brought to tears a few times only to inhale in the moment for what it is…a moment and keep going step by step, hour by hour.  It’s raw and  vulnerable and it has shredded me of anything else but what is at the moment.  Haven’t we all felt this in some way or another.  The fear, the shock, the changes that are occurring, we feel powerless at times.  But take some breaths and move inward towards your power.  See, summon and call forward what is stirring to come out. There is so much to be hopeful for, so much healing is happening.

This New Moon feels like a New Beginning in the year 2017 (Also Chinese New Year).  This is a number one year in numerology, new cycles, new beginnings… a change in a new direction, a first step into something new.  This is a time of hope, a time of belief that the impossible can indeed be possible.  That change can happen, that even though we are moving through tough changes, great healing is occurring and more strength, more voicing, more power and belief in ourselves is building.  It is building like a great tidal wave ready to shift the tides of the planet.  Women and men are awakening like never before, we are being called to get louder and stronger at quicker rates.

This New Moon is calling us inward, to soak up our vision of the new we want in the world.  Many are being called into change…a change of career, a change or relationship, a change in what we tolerate and don’t tolerate, a change of our habit of being silent in to using our voice.  I even had a wild thought about what working in the political world might be like, knowing that we need more women in this arena.  This may not be my path, or it may who knows, but many women are being called towards such and this is wonderful news for all of us!!!

New Moon Ritual:

As always set the mood…candles..tea…wine…incense…music…quiet…whatever floats your boat.     Take some deep breaths and close your eyes.  Go to an inner place of power, a place where you feel strong and confident and hold yourself up high.  Breathe it in…what do you see?  Where are you?  What colors are there?  What’s the climate?  What’s the feel?  For me it’s a sacred fire at Ghost Ranch, it’s pitch black out except the bright orange and yellow flames of the fire.  Allow your loving and kind guide to come and give you picture or words or symbols that represent the vision of the life you want.  See it, inhale it, feel yourself being it.

Create a collage or just free flow words for two minutes and see what shoots out on the paper from heart to hand.  We are all part of this eclectic puzzle changing, inspiring and moving change forward so honor your soul’s call.  Now is the time.  Abundance and prosperity are around the corner.

Happy New Moon and Chinese New Year…it is the year of the Rooster 🙂

 

Blessings and love friends.

As always, if you feel called I’d be so delighted if you FOLLOWED MY BLOG or The Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.

Photo by quotestack.com

 

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7 Ways to Harness the New Moon & End of the Year Energy.

magic dustIt’s the new moon and the end of the year.   This moon feels like a good one to get organized, ready and focused for the New Year.  Each New Year feels like an energetic fresh and slate and this New Moon is helping us prep for this.  In preparation of the fresh energy ahead, I usually cleanse out the energy of my home and release the energy of the past year.  I let go of things I no longer need, have out grown and make space for new life and new energy to enter because my friends there will be new things coming, change of some sort and we must create space for that.  I know change can be tough but it’s tougher if we fight what is because usually the energy forces its way into our lives drastically if we don’t allow it naturally to unfold, gently and lovingly.  There is a Divine Plan…trust that and the universe, She always has your back 🙂

Here are some ways to prepare the energy in your home and close the energy of this year and celebrate the New Moon as we are in the Capricorn energy.  Let’s get organized…organized…dah… dah… dah… dah…organized…organized…(just what Capricorns love)

  • Clean out your closets.  Go through your clothes and remove all the ones you don’t wear.  Donate what you no longer need.  This goes for your pantry and linen closets as well.  Get rid of old food or spices you no longer use.

 

 

  • Go through your email and clean it up. Delete, delete, delete… what you no longer need!  I recently did this and unsubscribed to a truck load of sites as it was simply clogging up my email accounts.  It was so freeing.  I had 3000 emails, now I have fewer than 50.  I also created folders and categorized and filed emails that I need to hang on to.

 

  • I know, I know it’s kind of the last thing you want to do but cleanse out the old dirt of the year.  Vacuum, wash the floors and if you can allow a fresh breeze of air to flow through your home.  It’s winter here, snow, ice, freezing, but I still open the windows to allow the winter breeze to fly through and cleanse out what is there, even for a few brief moments.

 

  • Clean your entrance and doorway. Wipe the door, wash the floor, re-arrange furniture, put away the pile that gets stored at the entrance.   Sweep out the floor and old energy and allow new energy and prosperity to enter.  You’ll feel the effects instantly!!

 

  • Go through paper work that needs to be filed or thrown out. Get organized. Burn what you no longer need and feel the old releasing in the flames.

 

  • Clean out your purse and wallet. Make sure receipts are not filed in the place you store your money.  That is a no-no.  Do not place bills where money is suppose to flow.

 

  • Remove all your garbage and recycling from your home.  If you’re like us and live in the sticks make a trip to the dump and recycling depot.  If you live in town or city just try and place it outside or garage until it can be picked up but before the New Year.  I even dropped off an old and broken printer at an e- recycling station.  I’ve been meaning to do this for a year!

 

Clearing out the old is so refreshing may you enjoy the new space and energy that comes with releasing and cleansing out the old.  🙂

  • As an additional note, I feel inspired to make a collage of what I want to invite and fell and experience in my life in 2017.  Use some of the holiday cards, words, poems, images, that speak to you and tap into your creativity and allow it to fill you up as we end the energy of the year and start the New Moon cycle.

Now, we are ready to welcome in the energy of 2017.

If you feel called, do feel free to Follow the Blog.  I’d be so honored🙂  and Follow The Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.   Also I’d love it if you shared the post…they say sharing is caring hehehe.

Blessings,  joy and clear energy friends🙂

Crystal

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A Healing December Full Moon Ritual

The last full moon of the year, and a supermoon ta boot!  Yup the moon is closest to the earth, intensifying it’s effects on our emotional bodies.  …yeehaw and oh boy! I don’t know about you but I have been may moon2spewing emotion out of nowhere…tears fall out suddenly and surprisingly as a pour a cup of tea or as I drive down the snowy road, they just abruptly float down my cheeks.  I feel raw and vulnerable, stripped down to my bones.  The Universe at large is asking us to surrender our defenses, no more fearful living and just to trust at the door of lingering change ahead.  I don’t know what is around the road but there’s something and all we can do is walk the path of the unknown one step, or pearl strand at a time until we can see it and know what it is.

This is a big moon…a real big cleansing, a pull from the moon for you to release all the armor that blocks you from receiving love and abundance. All the fear padding you wear will be played with, toyed with, shaken loose for you to look.  And you feel naked, raw, emotional, and down right scared.  I feel a duty to tell you that you must feel what is there if you’d like it to transform.  Just sit with it in the moment it arises and see it through, so you can release it.  This is no easy feat, we are usually used to squirming our way out the emotions or distract ourselves into numbness.

FULL MOON RITUAL:

Now is time to allow what the moon is calling out of us to emote and simply see it through.  Do so on this Full Moon…emote with me, with the Sacred Feminine and Grandmother Moon and feel the divinity and healing in this sacred act.  What are you afraid of? What is coming up?  Are you angry? Annoyed? Sad? Why? Write it out…literally list it all on a page.  I’m mad at….I’m annoyed that…I’m scared of….

Get that stuff out and have a pity party on the page.  Allow yourself to open to what is there so you can release it.  Release it by burning it.  How can you let go and surrender into love and what is?  Now list the the qualities you need at this time…and imagine those qualities as symbols.  Go on…stretch your imagination and just allow what comes.  For me I need trust and faith and I when I think or an image or symbol that represents that I imagine Grandmother Moon beaming her loving hands down to my heart and inserting crystals all over my body.  They radiate peace and trust, they make me feel secure and calm.  I breathe in the feeling of that feeling and keep imaging the crystal powers spreading throughout my entire being.  Imagine your symbols entering your body and spreading out so that all the cells of you can feel what its’ like to have what you need to carry onward down the road of life.

All the old wounds have been summoned, even when you thought you have worked it out, the last seeping fluid of it floating around in your body will be called out so you can start 2017 a new, cleared, focused…ready for what lies ahead.  And here’s the kicker, it still isn’t clear what is around the bend of 2017.  It is new, it is different, it is a change but we still can’t put our finger on what the heck that is how it will translate for us in our lives.

For me I just found out my husband will be working out of town for chunks at a time starting in January and oh boy has this stirred up some deep emotion in me.  When I had my first baby, my first husband bailed and I was left to my defenses and a baby.  I lost everything, the house, the dogs, my job, my peace, my security, my trust in others.  I fought and fought and I survived. I survived by padding up, by not needing anybody, living totally on my own, independent, and stopped reaching for help…I stopped trusting in people for fear of getting hurt.  I didn’t lean on anybody but myself, that felt safest.  I closed my heart.

Seven years later (and my second baby with my amazing new husband), I’ve opened my heart again.  I can trust again because of the good man in my life, who is consistent, who shows up, who honors his word time and time again.  I have felt safe and secure enough over and over to allow myself to be more dependent on him…or at least more interdependent.  I still struggle to ask for help but I’m getting there and I express my needs more (sometimes lol) rather than struggle along “independently” doing everything myself.  And now he’s leaving (but he’s not, he’s just going on periodic work trips) but my body is registering his leaving as abandonment.  My fear has skyrocketed out of my bones and the memories of being a single mom, alone, nobody to depend on, nobody to protect me, a loss of safety and security are erupting out of my cellular memory.  Maybe I haven’t fully processed it all (even though a few years of counselling you think I would) but there’s a pocket I missed or didn’t find until now…or maybe, just maybe I’m going at the unknown heart not padded and full of feeling.

My mind is swirling with anxious, fearful worries…”What if I find myself in that position again, what if life falls apart again?  What if life throws a giant curve ball and I’m left to my own devices again…now with two kids?  What if I die, what if he dies…blah blah blah.”  My head spins in irrational fears and my blood pumps what feels like firecrackers throughout my anxious body.

The truth is I need my husband and I’ve never let myself trust to this capacity before.  I’ve never let my shield down this much because I’ve never experienced this kind of love and trust.  And sometimes I don’t know what to do with that, I don’t know how to live with that vulnerability.  The slightest risk to my well-being or security and I immediately want to put the armor back on and back way up from the closeness I feel for this wonderful man.  I get terrorized, aka – traumatized by the memories and emotions from the most painful period of my life and I want to only count on myself.  That means I shrivel up and retreat…sawing off my connections.  Not good, not good.

This is what this moon is pulling from our veins,this yuck, this old painful icky goo…  But we must feel the shit, the pus, the bruises, the memories of the sharp cuts and let it seep out, so we can go in the New Year with love, with trust.

decembermoonWe are being called into our vulnerability on this last Full Moon of 2016 because it has been one heck of a ride of healing this year so why not end it with a full moon bang! 😉

Here are some beautiful words that found their way to me that really rang the bell of my soul for this full moon. (From writer Beth Berry). I invite you sit with your vulnerability and see what happens.  What does it feel when you welcome it’s presence?  What would it feel like to allow it to embodies within you?

“I now see that by holding so tightly to a more masculine understanding of strength, I was actually repressing and resisting a new strength trying to be born in me: the more feminine strength of vulnerability.

It is vulnerable to ask for help. It is vulnerable to admit that you don’t know what to do. It is vulnerable to depend on others physically, financially, and emotionally. It is vulnerable to gaze into the eyes of your newborn baby and realize that she is completely dependent on you for her wellbeing. It is vulnerable to imagine evolving into something unknown (and culturally dishonored). It is vulnerable to lose yourself to love. It is vulnerable to trust your instincts. It is vulnerable to claim strength and beauty in ways that aren’t culturally condoned.”  (source:  http://revolutionfromhome.com/2016/08/we-arent-meant-to-bounce-back-after-babies/)

Vulnerability is the opposite of what we learned.  Vulnerability is a brand new bathing suit that requires giant pools of trust and love and faith…like bad-ass faith— in the Divine, and in the good and heart of another.  For me putting my heart on the chopping block again, risking it…and trusting that I will be loved, that men don’t leave or choose themselves over their families all the time.  It’s trusting in a foundation of connection that has never been experienced before and believing that the wires of union as so intertwined you are safe.  Vulnerability is like putting on an ugly sweater but knowing only certain few can see it’s beauty and wearing anyway because that’s how you are choosing to role…heart open, ready to be present and feeling, and trusting and risking in the face of uncertainty or possible rejection.  It’s stepping forward into the unknown knees shaking but trusting and knowing you will be lead to where you need to go one step at a time, that you’ll be safe, you have strength, even if it’s a windy path.  Vulnerability is choosing to throw the worry out the window and allow what comes to come when it does and enjoy the moment of what is in the now.  Embrace the unknown like it were a special place to be.

 

I pulled a card for this Full Moon knowing I’d get the Hanged Man card, and sure enough…he showed.  I just knew it.  So I leave with the wisdom of the Hanged Man or the Sacrifice card in the Psychic Tarot deck.

“…This card represents self-sacrifice and a time when you should look around your life to see what needs to be released.  By surrendering and letting go, there will be more room to receive…the rewards for this are transformation, wisdom, gratitude, and enlightenment.  This card signifies that there is a situation happening (or about to occur) in your life, and you can’t control the outcome.  This would be a good time to pause, rest, have patience, reflect and meditate…The Sacrifice Card (or Hanged Man) can also symbolize a period of transition and change.  The solutions you seek may be slow in coming , for it could be necessary to live the answers.  Accept the things that you can’t control, heal and leave the past behind, move toward your future, and watch for new doors opening and paths that are being shown to you.”

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Thanks so much friends and Happy, Healthy Full Moon 🙂

Crystal