Tag: Mabon

Fall Equinox – Letting the Old Burn & Die

Posted on September 22, 2015 by

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Ahhh….the Fall Equinox.  Feels refreshing and yet a bit torturous hehe.  Perhaps it’s a karmic joke, a funny, poke in the belly to wake us up. I have been moving down the spiral path into the depths of my wounds, into the dark, heavy,… Continue Reading “Fall Equinox – Letting the Old Burn & Die”

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This is my Goddess Tara statue. I bought her after my divorce. I had just bought my own little house and I had started a new job and slowly getting my bearings and new life established after a bad end to a marriage. I decided to sell my wedding band to a gold buyer and used some of the money to buy this Goddess Tara statue right after the transaction. She is the Goddess of freedom and I felt free! I felt alive! I felt connected to my Wild and Divine Self again. And I needed her as a reminder and as a symbol to that beauty in my new life. It was my life to rebuild in my own way and it was so freeing. I could rebuild from the place of my soul rather than my ego or society’s idea of what life should be. I really was able to tap into my wild and free self, my most natural and primal essence and it was exhilarating and freeing. That was 10 years ago! This week my oldest son accidentally knocked it over and it broke. I know once a God or Goddess statue has cracked or broke it must be released. Truthfully when she broke I was devastated, it felt like a punch to my gut. But as a few days I passed I realize Goddess Tara was showing me how I have once again lost my sense of connection to my wild,free and alive soul. I have not been devoting Sacred time to my inner depths, to my wild nature, to my creative soul. This is a wild call back home. Now that I am remarried and have more children I have become lost in the thresholds of wife and mother once again and I need Sacred and soul soaring freedom time. My wings need to expand and fly free and the Sacred task at hand is to balance the need for my wild and freedom with the responsibilities of motherhood and marriage. On this full moon I shall release this goddess and my old ways of soul abandonment, of not prioritizing me first so feelings of fulfillment and aliveness can infuse all parts of my life. If you’d like to join me I shall try and share a weekly soulful and creative practise that helps us tap into our own wild, free, alive feminine souls. It will be a realistic practise if 20-30 minutes for you and me and the Divine. Follow my blog to get it delivered to your inbox.
I’ve been thinking a lot about “space” lately. I have got myself in a pickled pattern of being so busy, holding so much stuff and responsibility on my shoulders that my mind has been so full. There is no space for me, for my soul, for my creativity, for Spirit to come forth because I have been too full of the to do lists and worries and this and that. So this weekend I pulled myself off the hamster wheel and really invited in “space” for my soul to expand, for Spirit to emerge, for life to enter!! This has also resulted in me creating space in my home.
With eating disorders numbers shooting thru the roof since the pandemic I feel a deep call to speak more about the Sacred body and union of mind,body and spirit. There are lots of “workout or weight loss challenges “ out there right now that are promoting disordered eating practises as “mental toughness challenges”... and I say...buyer beware !! I remember reading someone’s post about their experience in this particular challenge and I really wanted to comment that it sounded a lot like a day In my life when I had an eating disorder. I refrained but I feel like I need to share this piece for my eating disorder therapist days, “When what you eat or didn’t eat or how much you did or didn’t workout affects how you feel about yourself and your body it’s a sign of disordered eating and weight pre-occupation.” And in this pandemic it’s tough, life felt out of control so sometimes we try (me included) and control what we can... including food and our bodies or we get out of control in those areas as well. Our relationship to food and our bodies reflect our relationship to Life! I just wanted to put out an alternative voice to weight loss or getting in shape, my feed is flooded with this (which can be good but also not ).... if you need help please reach out to someone or your doctor. We need union and respect with our bodies not control and domination. We need to learn how to do this and I will start sharing some ideas 💕🙏🏼. Anything that teaches you to move away from listening to your body’s needs and your body’s limits to achieve a goal someone else set is not really a health oriented choice, it’s the ego’s and often a marketing ploy from someone who has something to sell. Your body is so wise and life is so wonderful when you can honour your body in all ways, without control and dominance. It’s amazing when can allow yourself to indulge your senses and pleasures....life because alive and magical. Your body in Her infinite wisdom will eventually rebel against your control ! What if we were embodied, in union, mind/body connection not mind dominating the sacred, life giving, life guiding, spirit speaking body. Food for thought 💕😊
The energies feel a bit like a pressure cooker as we head towards the solstice. Just like a budding flower there is construction before expansion. This allows for a shaking loose, a releasing, and removing of what is in the way of our expansion. I have a old wound revisiting, anger is within.... I don’t want to let go. I want to be angry, I want to stay in the brute edges of the rage...and I will...so I can release it. I need to move through it. I need to flip over all the angry stones as clearly there is more information and wisdom for me to learn as I hold the fire of this rage. So In preparation of our expansion and blooming with the solstice, I invite you to write, paint or doodle about your constriction and what you are shaking loose.
I’ve been thinking a lot about spiritual nudges...spiritual whispers that guide us. For me it’s more like inner shriek and screams of anxiety or doom or even overwhelm that rattle my insides. I know that it is all simply guidance and information from my soul knocking hard at the door of my mind commanding attention. It is my deepest Self saying something I am in or experiencing is no longer working or fitting and I need to move into a new direction and let this go. I feel like in many ways I’ve outgrown the form of my current job. It does not allow for all parts of myself to be expressed and my truest , deepest parts are the ones standing on the side lines and quite frankly, not too pleased with sitting on the bench. So I tell Spirit that I hear Her and I send an invitation to the Universe to move me where I am supposed to go. I call in the new, I call in the new from, the job, the new experience that is hovering around stalking my energy waiting to swoop in and bring me to the new reality. I’m ready to untether from that which no longer fits into the new. I see myself almost like spider man shooting my webs of energy towards the sky, towards spirit, ready for the Divine to grab hold and help me easily and joyfully make the shift. The budding trees remind me of the beauty of new life and new experiences,
Sometimes Spirit calls upon us to be the light...to bring the light. As my spirituality continues to evolve I realize more and more it’s in the everyday moments and experiences where Spirit is seeking to expand. I was grocery shopping the other day, and as per usual I was running late. I had to hurry to go pick up my kids and wouldn’t you know it, the store was busy. I picked a line and waited 3 or 4 people back only to come to the till to find a very elderly woman working as the cashier. She was slow as she rang in my items and weighed my bananas. She moved as though she were in quite a bit of pain and I noticed that her fingers and hands were filled with swollen joints and crooked fingers likely from the grips of arthritis. I thought to myself that I was going to invite in the Divine in that moment. I was going to call in love and patience... I was going to dance and move with understanding and compassion... not impatience or frustration. I couldn’t help but wonder why this woman in her 70s has to keep working... or does she want to? She looked tired as she struggled to load the bags in to the cart as she moved her hand along the counter to walk. What was her story? All I could think was to pray for her... to send her love... to ask Spirit to surround her and protect her. I patiently and graciously waited as she slowly bagged my groceries before she asked me for payment. All I could think about was love and grace and said another prayer for the long line of people to offer her the grace and patience themselves. It’s amazing how quickly our outlooks can shift in the Presence of the Divine if we invite Her into the moment with us. How can you invite in the qualities of Love in the everyday ? How have you already ?How can you be Light for someone else ? Comment and share I’d love to hear 💕#love #spirit #patience #learning #the-divine #spirituality #spiritualawakening #inthemoment #expansion #grace
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