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A Simple & Gentle Dark Moon Ritual to Honor Venus & the Gifts of the Underworld.

dark moon 2“Grief is more present to us then we may be aware.  There is grief of incompletion, or despair of having no control over the changes of time.  Grief can be old and seemingly forgotten, like the loss of friends from childhood, the death of childhood pet, or the loss of childhood dreams but it is still with us if we haven’t healed it.  Often it takes big deaths, the loss of a loved one or the loss of our own health, to notice the grief that has always been there.”  Lynn Andrews.

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As we move through the last few days of this moon cycle and prepare for a New Moon later this week I felt to need to honor the power of this recent Moon.  Venus returned from her journey in retrograde on the 6th and I must say this was a powerful, powerful time for me to cycle with Her into the darkness, into our own dark voids and unhealed territory within.  So many people went through the ringer, me included, but let me tell you friends there was so much potent purpose to the struggles, to the pain, to the challenges.

I let myself fall to the bottom of the crater in the Earth’s crust this past moon.  Perhaps I simply had no choice but I did not let or could not let my fear hold me from falling face first, splattered on the ground in grief and despair. I simply fell there, what felt like 10 feet down and into a deep deep release of my grief.  I have not let myself fall into that deep depth, into that giant pocket of grief that was there waiting for I feared what would happen.  I sobbed and sobbed, alligator tears fell for hours.  It was difficult, intense and yet necessary.  I had nowhere else to go or turn except to be splattered on the ground, 10 feet from the threshold of the Earth Mother and wallow into those painful depths of despair and grief that lingered in me and needed release.

I felt consumed by darkness on that day in the dark cavern of grief and despair and then the next day I was totally shifted. My body had released something…buckets of dark, heavy sludge that lurked in my veins from old wounds, old experiences, old losses I had not fully grieved.  They simply leaked out of me in my sobbing howls and giant tear drops into puddles on the ground.  And I was freed, lighter, softer, gentler, changed.  I had surrendered to the place I had feared most and by doing so, my darkness gifted me with a new freedom, a new calm, a new inner peace I have never known.

I had never let my self go that low, to that depth for fear of what would happen if I ended up there.  Would I completely lose my mind?  Would I fall completely apart only to remain un-tethered?  I am lucky I had supports, my husband and even my body-worker therapist who helped me move through it fully.  And yet I was completely surprised how quickly I did shift out of it, simply by remaining in it for as long as it needed me to.

And just like that, something changed.  I feel more alive, more inspired, more invigorated, more willing to fight for my dreams like never before.  More capable of doing what I need to do.

So I simply want to honor this last moon cycle and Venus/ Inanna for her journey into the underworld and the unforseen gifts of following Her there.  I am grateful.  I am blessed.

SIMPLE & GENTLE RITUAL:

To honor Her I will simply light a candle on my altar, in gratitude, in awe, in humble honor to have journeyed into my own darkness for the 3 days of the Dark Moon.  I will take a light 5 minute stroll in the dark moon’s modest light and reflect on the gifts offered of the depths of the Underworld.  I shall release tobacco or cornmeal into the wind  symbolic to the grief I have let go and let my gratitude float on the Earth Mother.  I will simply breathe in connection and magic and awe for all that I have learned during this cycle.  I am humbled to the depths, to my core and I welcome what was not able to come in before I cleared myself of the guck. It is now able to come and visit for I have cleared the trail.  Will you join me?

I am freer and lighter.  Now we really move forward and onward into soul expression in this life.

And so it is.

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The Venus Retrograde & Waxing Moon- Honoring both Dark & Light.

waxing moon2As we have moved into the Waxing Moon this past week I am aware of a heaviness on my chest…still!  I have dumped and dumped out the emotional cargo and yet still more remains.  We are in the middle of a Venus Retrograde so it all makes sense, it all has purpose.

Venus is said to be connected to Goddess Inanna who is the Goddess of both love and war.  She is known for Her descent into the underworld and when Venus goes retrograde it is symbolic to our own descent into our shadow and darkness.

Goddess Inanna is said to travel through seven gates in the underworld, at each one removing one piece of jewelry or clothing, symbolically shedding layers of herself, perhaps her ego.  It is where she explored her dark side until she was stripped down to nothing, to naked, raw Truth.  It’s like an initiation, each gate, each depth of darkness, harder, heavier. (this is the super duper coles notes version)

I feel in many ways this Venus retrograde is stripping me down, shedding parts of my darkness by making me move through it again and again, layer upon layer.  I’m aware of my darkness sitting there, lurking within me and around me like ravens stalking my every move.  It is swirling around me, sitting on the light standards, gawking at me letting me know it’s there.  It is there! I can’t ignore it.  It’s showing up in my pissy moods, my negative outlook, even judgmental thoughts.  It’s hard to name, hard to own, but it’s there, its real so here I go owning it.  We must look at our ugly parts, our mean, fearful, judgmental, jealous lathed parts.  This is what Jung would call our shadow. We all have one, their is great purpose in our dark, in the wounds, in the pain.  They are portals to Truth.  So lets’ own them, and work with them, allow them to lead us to light, consciously, constructively, not destructively.

Yesterday, I decided to give my darkness some conscious attention, some time, some outlet to come out.  I grabbed a largephoto (20)
sheet of paper (go ahead grab one yourself and try it out!! 🙂 ) and wrote out all my dark, heavy feelings, thoughts, words, judgments, negative, pity party words.  I let myself go there, deep, in the muck.  I rolled in it like a little piglet in the mud and allowed myself to honor the dark.  I felt good, it allowed the tears to come.  I was surprised to discover my way to the roots, to the Core of the matter, the true issue and pain.  I wrote down ALL the things I have endured the last 5 years on this dark, mud pile and let me tell you it has been a lot.  I named all the losses, all the pain, all the let downs and just let it be there in a pile on a sheet of paper on the floor.

“Holy shit that’s a lot!” I thought as I stared at the paper and let the tears come.

In some ways it allowed for some compassion and understanding of myself.  I’ve gone through the ringer, I went through it all at one time.  So I understand why I have buckets and buckets of grief, of sadness and rageful anger.

And I heard spirit whisper why I was moving through the darkness still, to fully clear and cleanse my soul palette for the fruitful labour and life ahead.  It will be wonderous and they want me to clear the cob webs in preparation.  It feels like an initiation, a shedding of all the armor, all the darkness that blocks the love and life force energy of the Divine trying to move in.

I remember going to a tarot card reader about five years ago who flipped “The Tower” card and said how everything in my life would collapse, would come to destruction, and that it did.  My old life has vanished, dissolved, crumbled into dust and I have been surviving in the rubble.  Now I am in process of prepping to rebuild.  I have been playing with the stones, unsure how to place them, but now is time to decide what I want to rebuild.

photo (19)So..on another sheet of paper (join me in this as well), I wrote down New Building and started to just feather out words of what I wanted, specific, clear, concise.  I’ve seen the draft, the plans for building and now I am to get started, preparing my life to manifest and build this vision, this architectual soul plan of my life.

So for now, we can honor the darkness that is there, see it, nod to it, honor it’s existence.  Give it release, give it conscious portals to move out of you, out of your cells, out of your body and out of your aura while you simultaneously begin rebirth,
and rebuilding.

We are in very healing and interesting times.  Life is gonna move swiftly and we will be blown into rebirth suddenly, we move out of the ashes and into the new.  So get ready, strap on your moon boots and ride the wave ahead….it’s magical!  Swirl in the stardust.

Little tidbits that have been helping..

  1. Being creative everyday..i’m refurbishing old furniture.
  2. Gratitude lists everyday.
  3. Journaling, letting the darkness spew out if it needs and flip siding it with writing the lightest, brightest thoughts about my dilemma or struggle.
  4. A gentle yoga practise to ground me, every day.
  5. Music, I mean really, music is the grandest soul medicine of all!

And so it is my friends.  Hang in there, hang tight…trust!  Darkness is the portal to great light!

xo Crystal

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