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A Simple & Gentle Dark Moon Ritual to Honor Venus & the Gifts of the Underworld.

dark moon 2“Grief is more present to us then we may be aware.  There is grief of incompletion, or despair of having no control over the changes of time.  Grief can be old and seemingly forgotten, like the loss of friends from childhood, the death of childhood pet, or the loss of childhood dreams but it is still with us if we haven’t healed it.  Often it takes big deaths, the loss of a loved one or the loss of our own health, to notice the grief that has always been there.”  Lynn Andrews.

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As we move through the last few days of this moon cycle and prepare for a New Moon later this week I felt to need to honor the power of this recent Moon.  Venus returned from her journey in retrograde on the 6th and I must say this was a powerful, powerful time for me to cycle with Her into the darkness, into our own dark voids and unhealed territory within.  So many people went through the ringer, me included, but let me tell you friends there was so much potent purpose to the struggles, to the pain, to the challenges.

I let myself fall to the bottom of the crater in the Earth’s crust this past moon.  Perhaps I simply had no choice but I did not let or could not let my fear hold me from falling face first, splattered on the ground in grief and despair. I simply fell there, what felt like 10 feet down and into a deep deep release of my grief.  I have not let myself fall into that deep depth, into that giant pocket of grief that was there waiting for I feared what would happen.  I sobbed and sobbed, alligator tears fell for hours.  It was difficult, intense and yet necessary.  I had nowhere else to go or turn except to be splattered on the ground, 10 feet from the threshold of the Earth Mother and wallow into those painful depths of despair and grief that lingered in me and needed release.

I felt consumed by darkness on that day in the dark cavern of grief and despair and then the next day I was totally shifted. My body had released something…buckets of dark, heavy sludge that lurked in my veins from old wounds, old experiences, old losses I had not fully grieved.  They simply leaked out of me in my sobbing howls and giant tear drops into puddles on the ground.  And I was freed, lighter, softer, gentler, changed.  I had surrendered to the place I had feared most and by doing so, my darkness gifted me with a new freedom, a new calm, a new inner peace I have never known.

I had never let my self go that low, to that depth for fear of what would happen if I ended up there.  Would I completely lose my mind?  Would I fall completely apart only to remain un-tethered?  I am lucky I had supports, my husband and even my body-worker therapist who helped me move through it fully.  And yet I was completely surprised how quickly I did shift out of it, simply by remaining in it for as long as it needed me to.

And just like that, something changed.  I feel more alive, more inspired, more invigorated, more willing to fight for my dreams like never before.  More capable of doing what I need to do.

So I simply want to honor this last moon cycle and Venus/ Inanna for her journey into the underworld and the unforseen gifts of following Her there.  I am grateful.  I am blessed.

SIMPLE & GENTLE RITUAL:

To honor Her I will simply light a candle on my altar, in gratitude, in awe, in humble honor to have journeyed into my own darkness for the 3 days of the Dark Moon.  I will take a light 5 minute stroll in the dark moon’s modest light and reflect on the gifts offered of the depths of the Underworld.  I shall release tobacco or cornmeal into the wind  symbolic to the grief I have let go and let my gratitude float on the Earth Mother.  I will simply breathe in connection and magic and awe for all that I have learned during this cycle.  I am humbled to the depths, to my core and I welcome what was not able to come in before I cleared myself of the guck. It is now able to come and visit for I have cleared the trail.  Will you join me?

I am freer and lighter.  Now we really move forward and onward into soul expression in this life.

And so it is.

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The Venus Retrograde & Waxing Moon- Honoring both Dark & Light.

waxing moon2As we have moved into the Waxing Moon this past week I am aware of a heaviness on my chest…still!  I have dumped and dumped out the emotional cargo and yet still more remains.  We are in the middle of a Venus Retrograde so it all makes sense, it all has purpose.

Venus is said to be connected to Goddess Inanna who is the Goddess of both love and war.  She is known for Her descent into the underworld and when Venus goes retrograde it is symbolic to our own descent into our shadow and darkness.

Goddess Inanna is said to travel through seven gates in the underworld, at each one removing one piece of jewelry or clothing, symbolically shedding layers of herself, perhaps her ego.  It is where she explored her dark side until she was stripped down to nothing, to naked, raw Truth.  It’s like an initiation, each gate, each depth of darkness, harder, heavier. (this is the super duper coles notes version)

I feel in many ways this Venus retrograde is stripping me down, shedding parts of my darkness by making me move through it again and again, layer upon layer.  I’m aware of my darkness sitting there, lurking within me and around me like ravens stalking my every move.  It is swirling around me, sitting on the light standards, gawking at me letting me know it’s there.  It is there! I can’t ignore it.  It’s showing up in my pissy moods, my negative outlook, even judgmental thoughts.  It’s hard to name, hard to own, but it’s there, its real so here I go owning it.  We must look at our ugly parts, our mean, fearful, judgmental, jealous lathed parts.  This is what Jung would call our shadow. We all have one, their is great purpose in our dark, in the wounds, in the pain.  They are portals to Truth.  So lets’ own them, and work with them, allow them to lead us to light, consciously, constructively, not destructively.

Yesterday, I decided to give my darkness some conscious attention, some time, some outlet to come out.  I grabbed a largephoto (20)
sheet of paper (go ahead grab one yourself and try it out!! 🙂 ) and wrote out all my dark, heavy feelings, thoughts, words, judgments, negative, pity party words.  I let myself go there, deep, in the muck.  I rolled in it like a little piglet in the mud and allowed myself to honor the dark.  I felt good, it allowed the tears to come.  I was surprised to discover my way to the roots, to the Core of the matter, the true issue and pain.  I wrote down ALL the things I have endured the last 5 years on this dark, mud pile and let me tell you it has been a lot.  I named all the losses, all the pain, all the let downs and just let it be there in a pile on a sheet of paper on the floor.

“Holy shit that’s a lot!” I thought as I stared at the paper and let the tears come.

In some ways it allowed for some compassion and understanding of myself.  I’ve gone through the ringer, I went through it all at one time.  So I understand why I have buckets and buckets of grief, of sadness and rageful anger.

And I heard spirit whisper why I was moving through the darkness still, to fully clear and cleanse my soul palette for the fruitful labour and life ahead.  It will be wonderous and they want me to clear the cob webs in preparation.  It feels like an initiation, a shedding of all the armor, all the darkness that blocks the love and life force energy of the Divine trying to move in.

I remember going to a tarot card reader about five years ago who flipped “The Tower” card and said how everything in my life would collapse, would come to destruction, and that it did.  My old life has vanished, dissolved, crumbled into dust and I have been surviving in the rubble.  Now I am in process of prepping to rebuild.  I have been playing with the stones, unsure how to place them, but now is time to decide what I want to rebuild.

photo (19)So..on another sheet of paper (join me in this as well), I wrote down New Building and started to just feather out words of what I wanted, specific, clear, concise.  I’ve seen the draft, the plans for building and now I am to get started, preparing my life to manifest and build this vision, this architectual soul plan of my life.

So for now, we can honor the darkness that is there, see it, nod to it, honor it’s existence.  Give it release, give it conscious portals to move out of you, out of your cells, out of your body and out of your aura while you simultaneously begin rebirth,
and rebuilding.

We are in very healing and interesting times.  Life is gonna move swiftly and we will be blown into rebirth suddenly, we move out of the ashes and into the new.  So get ready, strap on your moon boots and ride the wave ahead….it’s magical!  Swirl in the stardust.

Little tidbits that have been helping..

  1. Being creative everyday..i’m refurbishing old furniture.
  2. Gratitude lists everyday.
  3. Journaling, letting the darkness spew out if it needs and flip siding it with writing the lightest, brightest thoughts about my dilemma or struggle.
  4. A gentle yoga practise to ground me, every day.
  5. Music, I mean really, music is the grandest soul medicine of all!

And so it is my friends.  Hang in there, hang tight…trust!  Darkness is the portal to great light!

xo Crystal

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A Simple Dark Moon Ritual.

dark moonTonight marks the Dark Moon, well the last of it anyways as tomorrow we start a New Moon cycle.  This past month has been an emotional one, at times heavy and dark, sad and glad.  I’ve shed many tears this month and cleansed my soul palette.  It has been challenging and yet refreshing, I feel lighter and calmer…finally.  I had moments where I thought this was it, I’m headed to full blown breakdown only to come to a pond of tears and find out I was okay.  I could simply sit with the grief, hold it, cradle it, full blown feel and set it on its way like a leaf floating on the water.

I’ve been grieving my old standard of life and well-being, the old amounts of energy I had, a loss I experienced and didn’t let myself feel until now.  I was stripped down to the bones, my soul bones, and in many ways feel like I’m saying good bye to my old life.  A new set of wings await me, a new way of doing everything has emerged and I’m in transition, in process of finding this new way.  I’m trying to get comfortable with these new wings.  It changes everything, everything looks different, feels different.  My needs are different, my wants and desires, my ideas about what I wanted.  It’s all changing and it’s okay.

DARK MOON SIMPLE RITUAL

So tonight we honor the old, we lay it to rest.  We take some moments alone, in silence, in retreat, in reflection and we hold the past, the loss, the end of era in our hands.  Maybe it’s an ending of a relationship or job, or house or whatever, we simply lay it to rest.  If you can grab a stone and write on it that which you wish to bury, to honor it’s death and ending.  Bury the stone into the Earth Mother under the dark moon sky and say your last and final good-byes.  Maybe you want to write a good-bye letter or simply say some words in your mind or out loud.

This clearing, this ending is prepping us for the new life, new energy that lies ahead.

For me it’s my old life.  It’s never coming back and I can come to accept that so the new one I’ve been trying on can fully blossom.  I don’t have to reach backwards anymore, clinging onto something that I can’t find.

Let’s clear the waters for the New Moon tomorrow.

And so it is 🙂

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Artwork created by Mickie Mueller.

Fantasy and Fairy Art of Myth and Legend
http://www.mickiemuellerart.com

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A Blue Moon Lesson & Releasing Ritual.

blue moonThis month there is just so much going on, isn’t there?  At this Blue Moon (second full moon in one month), we are asked to move through shtuff and let it go.  I’ve been so sensitive this month, really reacting to lots, aware of much coming up for me. Puddles of grief and anger have re-surfaced and I even had to go a Bio-energetic counselling session to literally scream it out.  I twisted towels in anger, banged my feet against a block and allowed to tears to leak out like rushing waterfalls.  I made room to sob.  Yup, I sobbed and sobbed it out.  It was free-ing and exhausting, and it took all I had to give myself permission and space to do it.  I knew it was what needed to be done, even though I  kinda didn’t want to because it isn’t fun or easy.  I’ve been quite low key and low energy since the major release but certainly calmer and clearer.

I’ve come face to face with a pattern this month.  An old and familiar wound.  You see, I’m an Empath, I feel things deeply, I can feel energy and other people’s shtuff.  I can also feel deeply my own truth in my feelings.  I feel like my soul constantly meets these systems, these patriarchal, logical, linear, needing physical, material proof systems that focus on facts.  And my body, my sweet, alive, LOUD, soul expressing, feeling howling body speaks another Truth.

Sometimes the facts don’t align.  I come face to face with logic or someone else’s truth and it doesn’t align with mine.  My feelings,my body, my despair, my fear….they start to scream.  They howl until my gut is all twisted up.  I try and share my feelings, my gut instinct so to speak and it’s denied, ignored or even made fun of.  It’s so out there, so off beat, so opposite of what the facts are saying.  I’m accused of being wrong, or inaccurate or negative or whatever the case may be.

I’ve struggled with my voice, with knowing how to be heard.  With how and where to express some Truths with a capital T when the facts are saying otherwise.

I feel caught…stuck… my awareness is standing between logical truth and Mystery Truth.  A system or a person with authority, even someone in my life is telling me something that is not true for me and I feel a strong pang in my gut, it doesn’t ring true for me.  Something doesn’t feel right.  My body is very attuned, my inner knowing comes far before the facts show up and I have this habit of doubting Her.  Not because I don’t believe her but because I don’t know how to express my knowing and the yet to be revealed facts.  I’ve been rejected and taken a strip off of one too many times for knowing what has not yet been shown.

I reveal the truth to soon because I’m desperate to be heard and understood, even valued by others because I haven’t done that for myself.  I wait for them to give me permission to believe the Mystery of my intuitive, feeling expressing body.  And it doesn’t come, we live in a logic oriented world, where the physical and the logical are more valued and accepted than the magical and emotional.

I don’t trust that people value my feelings or intuitive knowings so I get quiet and deny my body.   I feel like I work hard to try and convince them of a point of view they simply don’t get or can’t see or understand.  And I get stuck in chaos, in anger, and in doubt and uncertainty in myself.  Am I wrong?  Am I missing something?  And I get frozen in that spot. The web of grief overtakes me and I move into the common wound.  I keep thinking I need and want someone to accept my strong feminine nature, my intuitive, emotional feeling ways and celebrate them rather than demean and diminish them and I wallow in the pain of been invalidated or denied.

I see now, it is me who must move from wallowing to being my own salvation.  I must be the people or person who celebrates and accepts and BELIEVES in myself and my gifts no matter what.  If they don’t hear or agree or understand, so what! I doesn’t mean I’m wrong or I need to explain myself better, it means I simply must find another door or road to support the Truth.  It’s a signpost leading me to another direction, not a rejection letter.

I can find another way, another door, another road, another person who hears me and validates me.  I can find support where there is support. I can ask the universe, my angels, my guides to lead the way, show me another road or trail that can support my knowing or Truth.  I don’t have to dwell in the cell of rejection, or feeling of being un-valued or unheard.  I don’t need to waste my time trying to get heard by people and systems who have dead ears.  I can go another way, I can find another trail where we all play the same harp songs.

I go through this lesson over and over to remember it is in my own self-acceptance.  I’ve come into this world to accept myself even if I am different, not to be accepted by others.  The later will come when I do the work first.  It’s like a sacred relationship with myself, a testing, a learning curve.  I get there….eventually but I need not keep going through the long, treacherous painful process of self-doubt.  Usually when the Truth finally reveals itself I’m full of buckets and pockets of grief and pain because I REJECTED MYSELF.  I knew all along and I didn’t believe myself, instead I followed what the doctor, or lawyer or other person unable to hear my Truth because the facts had not yet come.  And I’m tired of rejecting myself!  In fact I will no longer do it!

So on this full and blue moon, let’s howl it out.  Sing some songs, scream, twist towels in anger and release it out.  Get our voices out into the universe and sing our soul songs.  Play some fun,uplifting music and sing along.  Scream out what you no longer will carry.  Scream out your worth, your value, your gifts.  Scream out a love song yourself!

A BLUE MOON RITUAL:blue moon ceremony

Alright, let’s make this fun and magical.  Put on something blue, a blue scarf, shirt, blue nail polish, a necklace or ring.  Or all of the above!   Have some candles, light some incense, heck even get a couple fireworks.  Light a small fire outside or even candles and write on papers what you wish to release and burn that shit up!

I release…

Self- Doubt – Burn it!

Control – Burn it!

Frustration and anger- Burn it!

Grief – Burn it!

Now Make another list and carry it with you.

I CHOOSE…..

I choose self-love, self-acceptance.

I choose to another another’s point of view.

I choose to another my point of view.

I choose to allow myself to work with the Mystery to be guided and find my way, my voice, my path.

I choose to believe in magic.

I choose to accept my glorious gifts and share them, not hide them.

I choose to honor myself and others.

WHAT DO I WANT AND NEED?

I ask you Great Spirit, Grandmother moon, my guides, ancestors, angels, helpers and all beings who love me to show me and guide…

My way

My expression of my soul easily and freely

An easy manifestation of my soul work

The formal and form you best want me to express myself.

Lead me, I shall follow.

To wrap up this ritual do something you do once in a blue moon, like taking a skinny dip, have a unique supper like a fondue or buy champagne and toast the moon.  Make a Moon Garden, a place in your yard with special stones and objects or fairy houses, anything unique and special on this special occasion.  Celebrate this rare moment in time but doing something fun and radical for yourself or for you and your significant other.   

Enjoy this once this beautiful Blue Moon and release the old while welcoming in the new!  This is a time or major healing and releasing.

And so it is!

If you called, please do feel free to add your name to the email list to receive Moon Musings and soul nourishing rituals. I’d be honored!:) 

xo

Crystal

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