ceremony, Full Moon, Uncategorized

May Full Moon- Express Your Wild.

mayfullmoonHappy Full Moon!!! 🙂

Wow, this is an interesting full moon.  The energies are buzzing, new patterns forming.  After the last moon cycle (and collapsing, ending/ crisis of last moon) we are in a time of rebuild, renewal, re-structuring.  We have started new patterns, new cycles, new ways of approaching life.  And we are being rewarded.

This moon feels joyous, a time of celebration.  A time of fun.  In Canada, it’s May long weekend and it’s actually hot and sunny.  It almost always rains May long weekend but this year is different, this moon is different.  The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the people are buzzing with excitement.

I pulled a card from the Native Spirit Oracle cards and it is Song of the Wild card.  How fitting.

New horizons await you!  You’re ready to savor the wonders of the world.  Take some risks.  Answer the call of the wild.  Step out of your comfort zone.  Live passionately.  Take steps in the direction of freedom.  Expand beyond your limitations and boundaries.  Maybe its time to take a journey or do something new and exciting.

Your Native Spirit Wants You to Know:  You are entering a period of expansion and going beyond self-imposed limitations.  Even if you feel hesitant, this is a time to try something new and do things in a different way.  You might even visit far-off lands or wild natural places.  Adventure often entails risk, but without it, life can become lackluster and stagnant.  There’s a vast new, and wondrous vista just around the corner, but you’ll never see it if you don’t venture out.

It feels like a victory moon, a bright light shining on us for choosing another path, for rebuilding rather than staying stuck in the rubble of the past.  It’s time for change and growth and you have earned the right to celebrate your courage, your commitment, your steps forward into the new. It takes guts to let the old go, to face the inner stuff so you can and to walk a new tight rope into a brand new way of life.

So do something fun and wild.  Something that feeds your freedom and wild soul.  Dress up today/tonight. Wear a bright lipstick, a bold dress, a funky hat.  Do your make-up differently, wear bold jewelry.  Be out in the wild, in nature, around fire and friends.  Celebrate your wild soul by expressing it.

Happy Full Moon friends, enjoy this fun one, it is well deserved 🙂

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astrology, ceremony, Full Moon, healing, meditation, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

A Healing Full Moon/Eclipse Ritual & Your Inner Queen

full moon march

Happy FULL Moon and Lunar Eclipse. The energies are brewing, the cauldron is stirring, the chaos,emotions, turmoil, struggles, and calls to grow and expand are bubbling.  Our unhealed shadowy selves are called to the surface so we can free them from the cages, free them from the rapture of old wounded ways and alas heal the cuts of the past.

Just the other day while walking my dogs, I heard this strange loud chirping in the trees. I’d never heard such a strange and loud gawk from birds before and wondered what the heck was calling in such in an unusual howl.  Then I seen my dogs jumping onto the bottom of a tree while an innocent ole’ ground hound gripped on for life to a branch near the top shrieking those unusual howls.

The Ground hog tells us…(from http://www.spirit-animals.com/groundhog/)

“You are being asked to explore altered states of consciousness deeper. The answers are within you – however you just have not dug deep enough to find the root of it. Groundhog can also be letting you know that you need to pay attention to your metabolism. Be aware of how your diet influences your natural bodies cycles and to make dietary adjustments to balance the workings of your body.

Alternatively Groundhog can be giving you fair warning that you have overstepped someone boundaries or someone is overstepping yours. Best is to resolve the situation with respect and from the heart.”

This full moon is in Libra, the sign about relationships.  Throw in a lunar eclipse and the intensity quadruples.  Lunar eclipses bring endings, shifts, and sudden change.

This fits well with Ground Hog’s message about boundaries, especially concerning relationships.  For me, I have someone in my life that I must deal with who constantly pushes and tries and over step my boundaries.  But I must look at the root, at my own causal piece in this.  I get thrown off, annoyed, frustrated, even irritated.  My mind sometimes loops into his trail of chaos and un-groundedness and  I literally start spinning with him until I remember to ground, stay firm, follow the agreements.

He rages, gets annoyed, calls me down, makes me the problem. But that’s okay.  My job is to figure out my stance.  As I enter the dream world to get some guidance and Higher vision on this circumstance, I see a large yard with a short white picket fence.  This is symbolic to my boundaries…nice, small, easy to step over.  So I ask my guides, how can I prevent him from stepping over my fence.

“Build a taller, stronger fence!” they say.

Of course! Keep things firm.  Don’t compromise, don’t adjust.  Focus on my peace, my emotional well-being, not his responses.  Easier said then done.  My inner cauldron of wounds, bubble over with feelings of fear and uncertainly.  I’m uncomfortable asserting my line knowing I will be met with resistance, with push back.  I get ready, get defensive, get myself preparing for the next set of attacks.  I want this response, this pattern to end.  It’s bullshit.  So I look inward to explore where the wound is so I can make the change.

I have this lingering patterned response, a neuro-conscious response (in mind-body therapy terms) where fear pumps into my chest when I must assert myself or express that my boundary has been crossed.  I feel childlike, timid, afraid of asserting my voice, my stance.  It stems from my childhood.  I’m afraid of getting into trouble.  But this belief, is old, tiresome, out dated.

So I follow the trail to the root.  Why am I afraid to assert myself? I know it stems from my dad, as much as I love him, when I was younger he yelled a lot when I’d try and find my voice.  It made me shrink in the face of conflict, authority, or anger.  I get afraid.  But what am I afraid of?  Being rejected? Being reprimanded?  Being wrong?

I get all twisted up in another’s point of view instead of remaining grounded in my own.  I start to question my accuracy, if I’m being selfish or the purity of my intent.  I doubt myself, and my knees start to wobble, I begin to feel weak and less confident in myself and my ability to assert my boundary begins to crumble.  I give in, stay silent and cower in the face of conflict only to beat myself up for stumbling.

There’a a connection to my voice, like somehow I won’t be believed or heard or honored. inner queenThere’s an old belief that my voice won’t be listened to so I go to the extreme defense protecting myself, trying to get validated, understood, and heard from the other person. This feels like to the root of my over-active immune system (auto-immune), always on the defense, hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant for attack and I must protect myself.  But there’s a difference between being overly cautions “on the defense” with being firm, assertive, and a Queen.  Rather than protecting my fence with a metal-suited soldier, I can call upon my inner Queen to simply stand there and energetically hold her presence.  There’s no defense, there’s confidence, certainty, trust in Herself, her power, her decision.  TRUST IN HERSELF! It’s just an energy of upholding the line, not defending it.

My inner Queen says to my inner child, “Who cares!  Who cares if he rejects you, you’ve already rejected him.  He can’t reprimand you and no, your feelings are not wrong.  Do not be afraid to expect your boundaries to be respected!  That is your right.”  

Expect to be respected. There is such power in that.  That is where my wound lies.  I have expected to be disrespected and prepare for this instead of standing firm in my right to be respected.  I will expect to be respected.  That just completely changes the energy of everything, don’t you think?! 🙂

“How can I feel as strong and confident as you?” my scared, child part asks my Queen.

“Put on your crown and cape little girl and believe in your own authority.”

I imagine my little girl with the crown and cape the Queen has gifted her and she feels naturally more confident and sure of herself.  She knows, she remembers, she owns that she is indeed a Queen. A Queen with power, assertion, and authority.  She commands the stage with her presence.

And so it is.

FULL MOON/ LUNAR ECLIPSE HEALING RITUAL:

Grab your journal, light a candle, put on some music and spark up an incense.  Drift inward, imagine seeing your inner child.  It’s time to dive inward to where we need balance and restoration.  It’s time to end old, wounded ways of being.

 

It’s time to dream, go inward and write and reflect with your magical inner world.  Get out your journals, turn on the switch to your imagination and travel into the healing gates of wonder…

1)Explore your inner parts, particularly your inner child, the wounded child.  What patterns, beliefs, wounds keep you stuck in old wounded patterns in your relationship? What does your inner child look like?  What are they wearing, what is their stance, what is their energy and presence?  What words or feelings come to mind with this part of you?

3) Think of a relationship with a certain person or people that you have been struggling with. Imagine the relationship dynamic or your presence in the relationships in the form of a landscape that reflects your boundaries and interactions within it.  What do you see and notice? What is there? What colors and images? What does this say about your patterns or wounded beliefs?

4)  Imagine seeing your inner Queen walking from her castle to this landscape. How does she move, feel and change the feeling with her presence?  What does she look like?

5) Ask her how you can heal this old pattern in your relationship or relationships and see if she will give you something, an object or objects to help you in shifting this old way of relating.

Share your experiences 🙂

And so it is!!!

 

This moon’s mantra.  “I assert my boundaries with ease by owning and stepping into my Inner Queen.”

 

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Uncategorized

A Letter to the Great Mother for the New Moon.

great motherWe have an Aquarius New Moon, a watery, emotional, soul quenching time to dive into our depths and ignite our souls.  The soul path is singing to us, can you follow the sound of the song even though you don’t know where the trail shall lead?  This is living with your instincts, trusting, following, being guided by Spirit.  The Sacred Feminine is awakening and beginning her Howl.  We have shed the shit out of the old now is the time to surrender, follow and trust in the new that is not yet in form but in motion.  The seeds have been planted but not yet sprouted, can you patiently await to see what comes and trust you will be supported?

On this day and night of the New Moon, you know the drill.  Take some Sacred Time, light some candles, burn some incents, play some soft music or wild feminine drums and write your soul blood onto the pages.  This moon, I invite you to write a letter to the Great Mother, the Sacred Feminine, The Goddess…She in any form.  Bear your soul.  Tell her about what you’d like to do in your life, your wild, alive dreams that are rambunctiously beckoning at you from within.  You feel the pecks of the wild call like little birds tapping their beaks at you ferociously for food.  Just see what comes.  This letter for me is deep, is soul-bearing is something I held tight to my heart for a good week now, and today I finished it.  So I invite you to write to Her, our Sacred Mother and bear your sweet soul.  Share your wishes, your struggles, and that what excites you or is calling you and know her arms wrap you and your life like a squishy, large, bosomed grandmother hugging you to your depths.  It is a time of brand new beginnings after and whole lot of shedding.  And so it is my dear friends.

Below is my letter to the Great Mother.   As always feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG if she calls to you and Like The Women’s Tribe FB page.

Xo Crystal

 

To the Great Mother, Goddess, Divine Feminine.

I understand you had to facilitate the end of my job.  I get that I finally had to let it go. I had no choice, my time was up.  It was time for the decision to be made.  I hear you whisper to me to simply let it go, something else is brewing, my health and my job just could not exist together.  

There’s an element of surrender you are asking from me, I see that, and yet I struggle to bow down and curtsy to you.  I know, I know….I must, there is no other choice.  On top of my health, I am with child now.  I certainly cannot risk the health of my child.  You knew this and dropped the surprise into my womb.  You knew I’d risk my own health out of fear of dropping my old professional role, so you helped me and anointed my womb with a life I would not offer any risk of harm.

As much as I trust your plan Great Mother, I am struggling in my shedding.  I feel like this final badge of honor that I was so desperately holding was the last petal that fell off and my old life is now completely gone.  I’m left with just myself, my stem, my roots and my uncertainty of what life is without all my bright, shiny petals surrounding me. I doubt my worth and it’s making me have to look into the insecure mirror.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall what the hell makes me worthy if all my petals are gone?”

As I gaze into my reflection, I see my fear wanting to reach for the fallen pieces of flower so I can glue them back on.  I’m used to being that flower, that bright, colorful flower.  And now I’m without any petals of definitions or badges of worth.  I’ve put all my marbles into the petals, believing they made me something.  I am this title, this role and I have this purpose and therefore I am good enough and I have value.  That job, that title meant I made something of my life, I succeeded, I became something.  And now…it’s gone.  I’m stripped down to my bones, my soul bones and have come to a cross-road.   I’m walking out into the world title free and it’s rattling me to the Core.  I feel weak in my knees, thin skinned, skeletal like.

I’ve fought hard for the Feminine, the Sacred Feminine to find it’s place at the throne alongside the masculine here in the physical world and it has been a battle.  I have fought hard but always kept my foot in the masculine world, to feel accepted, deemed okay, able to fit it.  My jobs were part of this.  My jobs allowed this and yet they were the same place I lost my connection to my soul.  I always knew I was not doing my soul’s work there, I felt like I was doing what was responsible and I accepted that.  Now, I feel like you are testing me and challenging me to see if I can walk my talk. Can I move in to my wild, feminine self and take it out to the world fully, not half assed.  You have cut my safety nets.

Here at am at the fork in the road.

“Can I fully believe that the Feminine is equally important, worthy and valuable in a world that doesn’t yet celebrate it?  Can I walk out of my house day after day and not get a single ego stroke for an external accomplishment? The bigger question, can I stroke my own soul and embrace and celebrate and honor the inner beauty, the feelings, the art, the expressions, the soul connections and the love that I leak out in the world and feel like this is enough?  Can I place equal value in my Beingness that I did in my doingness?”

I know that it will take a lot of work.  Getting external validation is like an ego boosting drug.  It will take truck loads of self-belief and a strong will.  I have to be for myself what I have sought out of others.  I will have to be my own love drug.  I have to give myself the love I have desperately needed out of others.

Phewf, is there a course on this…haha!  You know I’ve always felt a bit different in this world, like I don’t quite fit in, and now you are asking me to not only accept this but relish in it?  I know I don’t care about things like my eye brow shape or having the perfect lip liner, or Botox or the best clothes. I often buy used clothes.  

For some reason I was made to be soul oriented, not image oriented. I care about the trees, the Earth, the Sun and the Wind.  I love the nights when the moon shines bright. I love solitude and reflection and making art for no purpose other than to express myself.  I’m deep, emotional and intense (people don’t always like this).  I want to talk soul purpose, darkness, pain, struggle, wonder, enchantment, magic and mystery, not new kitchen gadgets.  I want to stare at the stars for hours and get lost in the night sky instead of going to the newest hot spot.

You know Great Mother, I felt like I do now once before at the age of thirteen. I had no great mother 2understanding of you but I felt the remembering of you in my blood.  I craved for your touch, your caress, your presence in my life like a child for her mother but I could not find you.  I could hear you call to me but I could not find my way to you.  Nobody showed me the path or taught me the way home to your presence.  I did not have the words or understanding of being without you in my life I only felt the despair, the emptiness, the lack of feeling okay.  I desperately wanted the ache of living without you to be seen, to be heard, to be understood and named.  But nobody knew of you or share you with me so I became the problem, not the world that denied you.  My eating disorder, my lack of coping, my short-comings needed development.  I became pissed off, I rebelled, I acted out my longing for your Sacred, for belonging, for being seen and I self-harmed, I smoked, toked and drank the booze to fill the emptiness.  I acted out my despair of living without you for living without you meant having to live without myself.

I see now, in this moment it was my journey.  It was the road I had to take to come back to the un-cloaked and un-titled soul that I was then and am again now. Life has stripped me down back to the raw, real, vulnerable soul that I was at thirteen, before I masked and imaged myself up.  

There are no distractions, no roles or personas or hats I’m wearing to cover up anymore.  I can see in this exact moment that I had to go through all that pain and addiction and acting out so I would have to seek out healing.  Healing allowed me to figure out what the hell I was feeling and unconsciously expressing.  I got to discover that I was born with the remembering of the Sacred Feminine within me and my path of healing was the place I was going to give birth to its’ existence in my life.  In my healing I discovered an understanding of things I had felt but never understood.  I learned how to free myself of eon old pain by remembering the you, the Sacred Feminine and inviting you to paint my life back into aliveness.

I had to learn how to be my own parent, healer, and best friend so I could prepare myself for this moment of soul return and walk a new path in a world that may not get or support it.  I had to ally myself up with my own love and acceptance and believe in you, the Great Mother to support, hold me and nourish me as I plunge in my feminine depths.

In some ways it’s easier to fit in, to walk the common path and belong.  It’s easier in the sense that you get support, validation and celebration for checking off all the “successful adult” boxes or get recognition and celebration for looking a certain way.  You get to swim with the other fish rather than against them.

Yet for me, it’s far more painful and gut wrenching to live in an inauthentic manner.  My soul begins to quiver and shrivel up like a snail laced with salt.  As it begins to fade away the despair, the depression, the doom and the anxiety circle me like a bunch of crows to a dead carcass on the side of the road. Living without my own self-connection and in alignment with my wild, feminine soul is a life of addiction and is massive self-destruction.  I cannot do it.  Death would take my hand if I did.  And I have not wanted to accept this.  I have wanted to change the norm, to challenge the norm, rather than being faced with the task of living a different life, on the lonely trail of the non-norm.

I have nothing left but to keep following my spirit lead instinct and make a new trail, make a new life in the bushy, dark, jagged trail that waits to be touched and cleared.  This is my purpose.   Sigh*!

Do I wish my purpose was as linear as becoming an accountant or nurse or pavement maker.  Yes!!!! I wish it was wrapped with such a pretty, titled bow.  But for some reason my purpose is not that describable or that easily coined.  I cannot put it on a business card. I cannot name it in one word.

I can only be brought back to you Great Mother and thus myself, over and over. Can I love myself enough to be wildly different and live un-boxed?  Can I be an artist of life, or a lover of Creation, a magician, an expressionist or even a beauty maker rather than a Home Care Case Coordinator and be okay with that?  Can I give up my fancy titles and follow my wild spirit because this is what life is asking of me in this moment even though others will challenge me to grab a role?  It feels big, un-contained and un-packaged and it’s uncomfortable, yet dare I say exciting?!

Can I believe in Creation, in Spirit, in Divinity, in you Great Mother and just follow the off- beat call of the wild? All I can do is try, experience it all and share.  I can only dive into the magic and the darkness, the pit of loneliness that feels like my life is at times and trust that somehow this is my soul path.

I have one of those birthday books that tell you about yourself based on the date of your birth and the title of mine is called, “The Lone Wolf.”  How fucking fitting!

Ha!

So here I am, a flower without it’s petals but still alive, still with a solid stem and roots. I wonder if anyone ever appreciates the stem of a flower or how the roots keep it alive.  It’s funny how when you are most yourself you risk being the most unseen, the most in-validated.  Being this vulnerable, real, raw is not so much seen as brave and courageous as much as it is seen as a nuisance and instability…hahaha!  That kind of makes me laugh for I connect most to those who have made beautiful sculptures out of the shit life dealt them.

And so I trek on, back to the point on the trail I left when I was thirteen with a hell of lot more knowledge and self-respect and courage to walk onto my path as a feeler, a loner, a color and magic inducer and a sharer of it all.

I howl on…

Signed,

The Lone Wolf…

🙂

 

 

Photo sources:

Photo 1-lightgrid.ning.com

Photo 2 – valerielenton.wordpress.com

Uncategorized

What If I Punched Fear in the Face and Let my Magic Leak Out? What if you did too??

magicWhat if I dared to jump off the cliff and punched fear in the face? What if I took the last piece of  chest armor off and trusted that the universe shall hold me in her arms and wrap me with loving protection,safety and security simply by believing in her?

Can it be done?  My mind is trying to wrestle me into “reality” and the old cautionary tale.

What if I trusted that being in the unknown, the portal between the worlds of change was okay?

I’ve always had on my defensive suite, ready for heartbreak, ready for fear, ready to run and escape and attack whatever was around the corner..

What if i changed this whole paradigm, this whole way of existing on edge, on the defense, on guard and surrendered into the pocket of the universal forces calling me to rest in her palm?

What if i didn’t set-up my life with one foot on the safety net, as though I believed life would fall apart, something would destruct and my survival were at risk?  What if I practiced faith and trust fully, for real..in life, in myself, in all good things.  My heart is expanding, softening and opening just at the thoughts in this possibility.

I feel a connection, an aliveness, a vast explosion of wild colors in myself at the thoughts of the Divine fully integrated in my life.  In this moment I feel connected to all life, I see the tapestry of it all like it were a video game made by Creation.

What if I approached every obstacle with radical trust that the universe was brewing something wildly different for me and all I had to do was float along on the sailboat into the change ahead rather than fight to the death the change that lie ahead? What if change or loss, or endings were not life-threatening and simply re-birthing into something more grand than I could ever imagine?

Is this full blown faith?  Is this divine trust?  This feels magical.  My mind wants to squash it and tell me to be realistic, to grip into the smartest, safest choice, but my soul wants magic and deep faithful aliveness.  I want to exist by flying in the sparkling dust of this Faith.  Tears stream with the remembering of this deep connection of the Divine in my life, we have drifted from each other the last while.

I’m shocked looking at this powerful mirror of my existence.  I have always existed on the defense.  I have built my life as a safety net, as a way to exist in the face of crisis or emergency, always having a back-up plan for my back-up plan. I have anticipated life falling apart (again and again) and have not fully moved in my depths, my heart.  I have stood rigid, on guard and protective for myself just in case.  I have remained the professional, responsible, logical, planned, realistic woman, having the reigns of control in my hands.  Protecting myself from anticipated pain or loss and I have wrapped a piece of my heart, my own divinity in protective metal.

I have done an injustice to myself.  I have allowed fear to envelop me and I have not lived fully from my center.  I have moments in my center, in trust, in my core, but I have always worn protection against the anticipation of doom.  I have had doom before, my whole life fell apart and I was brought closest to my pure existence, to my soul.  I lost all ego constructs, my house, my job, my marriage, my dogs (in the divorce) and was left with the bare minimum.  In my bare minimum I was closest to Spirit, to the Universal Forces, to my own soul.

Don’t get me wrong, in my life now I move into my depths, and my heart, I dive in explore the ocean of existence within myself but I have not created my life to express the full blown magical waters it is.  I have only made pockets of it.  I have created my life to mirror my inner protector…safe, linear, logical, well planned, a “just in-case” kind of life.  I have built it in preparation for it to fall apart, I have safety nets all over.

invokationThis means, I have lived a life with a Core of FEAR and believe things won’t work out!  I have assumed the worst, waited for the shoe to drop. I assume heartache and pain, curve balls and road turns are just around the corner and I pad myself up with protective part living so when life crashes it won’t hurt so bad.  I won’t feel the sting.  I keep my foot in a job that can sustain me “in case” things fail rather than jump into the ocean of trust and faith and creative juices as an artist or life art practitioner or whatever the hell that may be.

What if I lived with sweet surrender, Divine Faith and Trust in the Universe herself like she always has my back, because this I know to be true but I act differently in my life than this knowing.  Every time life has knocked me around, the Universe always had my back, every.single.time.

What if I flew arms wide open into the winds of change trusting that Universe is calling this from me and supporting me and opened myself to the Grace of what the universe shall bring?

Will there be difficulty, challenges, uncertainties, hell yeah but I don’t have to surrender my authentic, core, trusting, loving, faithful center and get into my defensive, fearful, life will fall apart believing self, ready to fight against pain.  Instead I can approach life with a gentleness, a sweet, soft knowing that all is occurring as She was ever meant to.

The Universe is calling me back home into a life of trust and surrender in her sweet arms.  She is calling me to believe in the good of the world, that physical life is spiritual life, they are not separate entities, just different energetic expressions of Existence and Creation herself.

She is asking me to shed the veils, remove the safety nets and full blown fucking live…alive…juicy…emotional.  This is a 180 change in my life, a softening, a surrender, a trust in the Divine Herself.  Perhaps then my immune system shall soften 😉

I feel an openness in my heart, an awakening in my breath, an aliveness in my bones as think about cutting the safety nets off of my life.

“Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life itself reveals again and again the opposite: that letting go is the path to real freedom.”  (From Om Element page)

And so it is…

xo

Crystal

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A Full Moon & Your Own Soul Devotion

releasing moonWow, it’s the full moon already.  And it’s a gorgeous, bright, super moon, meaning the moon is closest to the Earth and appears bigger.  We feel things more intensely.  It’s a bigger impact on us in the most fabulous of ways.

This full moon calls us to get focused, find clarity and take action.  This moon falls in the sign of Taurus, an earthy sign.  And it asks us to tend to the physical.  Get scheduled, make lists, eat well, rest, exercise.  Take extra care of our bodies.

As I sat and felt the energies of Grandmother Moon, I was asked “What experiences of felt senses do you want in your life?” Hmmm…what do I want to feel?  What am I looking to experience?  For me, I want connection, inspiration and joy.  Now my task is to define how I shall accomplish this.  How can I seek connection with others?  How can I find inspiration?  What offers me joy?

The key here this month alongside clarity, focus and action is devotion.  Are we devoted to the feelings and experiences we seek?  Are we devoted to find them?  Or are we more devoted to other things?  Or are we simply distracted and not devoted.  This is my intent this moon, to live with devotion to myself and my soul path and for me that is making some changes.  It is being more committed, more disciplined in devoting my awareness, my thoughts, my actions, my feelings to my soul and my deep spiritual longings.  It is jotting ideas down and beginning to take steps to do the ideas…now!

It is committing to discovering where and how I can find connection with others, others who seek deep, soulful nourishment just like me.  It is walking around in my life with my heart wide open, cracked into the awe of the universe.  It’s intense for me to feel so deeply, so often.  I’m still learning to balance that.  Sometimes in yoga, just by sitting in my vulnerability, in my cracked wide open realness, heart chakra just there and un-protected I feel anxiety.  I am devoting my energy this month to explore this, to sit with it more,to get curious about this old pattern.

I pulled a tarot card for the Full Moon and the card “Stand Your Ground” emerged from the Psychic Tarot deck by John Holland. “…Be brave and true to your core life values and belief system, which are your best allies and will help you move forward.  It’s important to remain clear and focused, for you may have to stand alone and defend your convictions at the end. Maintain your health and stay strong so that you have an ample supply of energy to endure anything, as this could be a long and arduous yet, ultimately, hard-won victory.

A perfect card for a Taurus Full Moon.  For me I’m doing a bit of a cleanse, no alcohol for at least 30 days.  I want to stay clear and focused, refreshed,  That means no glass of wine here and there to soothe the anxiety, agitation or emotional tugs coming forth from my own guidance system.  It’s intense, at times I simply want to shut it off but instead I must distract another way or sit with it, feel it, simply let it be there talking to me, guiding me.  This will allow me to move forward with clarity.  I have been a bit strapped and tethered to inertia, in stuckness, I must shake up the routine to get out.  I must practise devotion, devotion to myself and my health, like it were it’s own spiritual practice.  I am choosing a devotion practise of no alcohol, every day yoga, reading, meditating.  I am devoting to my art and creations, both furniture re-purposing and writing.

Don’t get me wrong, I want to flee…often. I want to have a glass of wine and unplug, shut off, disconnect…take a break.  But I am devoting and committing to my center, to my goal of health, to my art as though it were a Divine practise, an act of power.  It’s tough shit!! lol but very healing, deepening and interesting.

Full Moon Writing Ritual – Devotion.

Set up a special space, incense, candles, maybe some music.  Get out your journals and pens. And here we go…

So ask yourself…”What experiences or felt experiences do you want in your life?  Just write and see what comes. How do I get these? With who? Where? When? How?

The word Devotion has been on my mind lately.  What does devotion mean to you? Where are you devoted in your life and how?  What if you had devotion to your soul?  What would that look like?  Put your timers on for 6 minutes and just free flow write. Do not lift your pen off the page as you answer each question.  Particularly, what would it look like it you had devotion to your own soul?

And so it is friends 🙂   Happy, healthy Full Moooooonnnn!!

If you feel called, do feel free to Follow the Blog, I’d be tinkled pink 🙂

Photo: Full Moon Ritual by Patricia Telesco, ©1999

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June Full Moon Ritual for Clarity.

full moon juneThis full moon falls in the sign of Sagittarius, my astrological sign.  It invites in freedom, creativity, curiosity and adventure. We are pursuing freedom, soul freedom and this full moon opens the flood gates on the visions of our dreams.  We have a desperate sense to start doing what the soul needs and wants.  It’s why we’ve come, the inner ache for soul freedom is now piercing.  The call inward is ravenous.

This month in the mercury retrograde has been..ah, well…difficult!!!  Holy crap balls.  My shit has come up and I haven’t wanted to look.  This full moon is spot lighting what I need to look at.  “Go inside and sort through the stuff,” She says.

I’ve felt a bit lost the last while, second guessing some decisions, wondering where I will look and go and do. Should I really keep on and commit to this trail or abandon it and move elsewhere? My trust in myself and the Divine, tested and explored during this moon cycle.  All for the better I must say, the challenge and struggle is making me so uncomfortable I must make changes and take some new actions because in all the swirling uncertainty, I just get frozen and turn away.

So today, this full moon I look.  I was brought to a fun little writing exercise to help me and I invite you to join.

FULL MOON RITUAL – WRITE YOUR WAY TO CLARITY.

If you’re like me and feeling a bit skiddish, a bit stuck, lost or uncertain and you don’t know why let’s write it out.  Have yourself a little candle light, some smudging or incense and give yourself twenty minutes to tune inward.  Put on some tunes if you’d like and just create a sweet little sacred space for your soul to emerge.

Let your soul out on the page and the inner rapture an opportunity to sort its way out.  Grandmother Moon shall guide you home to clarity as you write.  Set your timers for five minutes each and go, don’t lift that pen til the buzzer goes off.

Moon Musing Writing Challenge #1– Complain it out.  That’s right, have a negative pity party on the paper and whine your way through it.  Go ahead release it.  What’s going on, what is your struggle?  What do you feel, complain about it, complain about how difficult it is and how you feel about what you need to do.  Burst it out on the pages and feel sorry for yourself.  I give you space to do it, it’s really quite freeing.

Moon Musing Writing Challenge #2 –  Now write as though your challenge or problem was a gift and you are so grateful and amused at receiving it.  Write about it the most positive, passionate way you’ve got.  Dig deep and find it. See it through another lens.  When I first started writing, I felt almost this phony bologna voice, but it brought me to the trail.  So rainbow it up on the page and spew out the good stuff about your impasse.  You’ve been blessed by the Divine with this challenge, write about it.

So, what came up??  What new clarity do you have?

Please do comment and share.

Happy Full Moon….And so it is.

As always, if you feel called and would like to receive new moon and full moon rituals, do add your email and Follow the Blog.  I’d be honored 🙂  

Here are my musings, left in the raw, untouched, poignant and meaty.(no edits)

My Moon Musing #1

I’m fucking stuck.  Life is stupid.  I can’t take it anymore.  I don’t want to fucking write.  I have this thing, this longing, this life force trying to break free from inside of me and I can’t fucking doing it.  I cannot sit and write.  I’m too God damn lazy, unfocused, unwilling.  I don’t want to the work,  I don’t want to work hard.  I don’t want to sit in the summit of intensity, the swirling energies of my soul bashing my insides like a ship fighting against typhoon waves.  I just want to drink and escape it, I’d rather eat my way through the darkness and keep it in there like an angry bomb.  I don’t want to fucking write.  God says it’s why I’ve come.  But why fuck?  Who the fuck am I to God dam say this is what I think and feel and believe.  Hey?  Who the fuck and I? I’m a god dam nobody.  I’ll just go out my days, miserable, bitter, angry that i’ve been put on this Earth to tell you this story and i don’t want to fucking write it.  i don’t want to sit and focus and use that side of my brain and write it.  i just want it fucking out of me, i don’t want to do the work.  Why God?  Why?  Why me?  Why did you place so much on my shoulders?  I don’t want to do your work.

My Moon Musing #2.

I’ve come here to struggle and share.  It is my destiny.  I am a feeler, a god loving, soul embracing, nature addicted motha focka who just feels deeply.  That is my purpose to sit and feel and dive into the depth of Creation.  It’s real hard and it’s really fucking fantastic.  It takes guts, it takes glory and I humbly, and honorably, head your call Goddess/God.  I hear you, you are both feminine and masculine, not male, not female, but a union, a divinity, a sacred love making between him and her, she and him.  You  want me to share and talk about it.  You want me to write down my journey home to the feminine and how I embraced my sacred She, how I became my own love bomb and exploded my soul into my own body.  You want me to share the dance between the clarity imagemind and body, he and she, him and her and weave a brand new way of life.

I hear you, it will take some work on my part, it will take some commitment.  In many ways the writing is the love making between Goddess and God, uniting in spirit and on paper as the vision, the memories, the emotions, the learning move into the physical, and move into form.  I can enjoy like a prayer, a ceremony that is occurring as two worlds blend as they were always meant to.  Writing is a gift, a sacred weaver between the forms, the magic stick in the portal between both worlds.  I, a Metis woman, get to blend two worlds.  How auspicious, how fucking spectacular that I get to be a new age witch and use my pen as my cauldron, brewing up new expressions of eon old truths.  How wonderful that I get to be a magic fairy, sprinkling star dust onto modern day problems so we can see them as soul loss issues.  I’m one bad-ass shamaness.  I get to roll around in play in between the worlds, spewing out soul expressions like firecrackers into the world.  I don’t need to torment myself about what others think for they are my sparklers, they are my truths and all i gotta do is share them.  If they embrace them great, i’m honored, i’m humbled, but in the end it is me, my sharing, my expressing, my stance, right here in the sand and the mud that counts.  It is my learning that my soul song is my purpose.  I get to have a say, i get to share and my eccentric, soul seeing, god loving views deserve my expression, simply for myself. I have a right to my own voice, my own way of being in the world.  I have a right to express my soul to my fullest capacity.   I’ve been impregnated with a song and my purpose is to sing it on the paper.  I’ve had to go through the mazes, find the keys, swim the oceans, climb the trees, dig the holes, and crawl my way through my control addicted mind, just to remember the song.  I feel it burning a hole in my guts, it has lit on fire, it wants to burst out on the paper.  What an exciting, glorious time, it is getting birthed, it is in the birth canal and my soul is in labour.  A new life awaits the birth.  How bloody exciting!  How lucky am I?

Photo 2 source: https://brandiauset.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/morrigu.jpg?w=305&h=391

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Celebrating the Sacred Feminine Ways of Motherhood.

momTo all the mothers, especially my mom.  Honoring your beautiful Sacred Feminine ways that all too often are left un-noticed and un-celebrated. This day’s for you!  I honor you and all your beautifully Feminine ways of nurturance, creativity, love, tenderness, intuitive knowing, and connection to magic.  You are Divine!

To all the Moms,

I want to acknowledge all the special ways you invoked the beauty of the Feminine Divine in our lives and made our house a home.  The touches of love and the sparks of joy were ignited by your hands.

You were the anchoring roots in the middle of our storms.  You calmed and soothed us with your presence and care.  You created memories of safety and security that we carried forward in our lives that helped shape all of our future relationships and friendships.

You loved every part of us in a way only a mother knows how.  You made moments special by showing up and giving the exact energy we needed to feel extra special and loved at any given moment. Our fun Friday night dinners, Saturday night fires, or Sunday morning pancakes were all cherished rituals of love.  

You seen us, you knew us at a level only a mother would and you filled our heart spaces with rainbows.  And so often it was not thanked or seen or known for how special it really was. 

You decorated our home each holiday season, bringing in the joy and magic with our decorated Christmas trees, lighting of the candles, the many holiday flowers, letting us paint snow in the already snowy window.  You’d let us taste test the yummy snowballs and short bread cookies each and every year .   You filled our senses with so many memories that each wiff of pine or of baking cookies  invokes a sacred memory and smile.

You made each holiday sparkle with your creative sprinkles.  You invited in the energy of the season, the magic in the air, the joy in our hearts and love in our home.  You made everything special and alive, you were conductor of the orchestra that ignited the life fires inside our bellies and lit the lights in our homes.

You ignited the magic into the mundane and breathed breath into our lives,  You called in the spirits of joy and celebration, sweetness and safety.  You are an alchemist, a magician of love, a gatherer of our people.

Maybe you didn’t even know it but you brought in the fairies and dusted our lives with an enchanted, pure, and innocent fun. Home was like a safe cocoon, a warm fuzzy blanket while you sipped hot cocoa at the fire, all because of your energy. You made our house a home with your sweet, nurturing, creative ways, your Divine Feminine presence.

You caressed and combed, cleaned and cooked with not a single complaint, even though all too often you didn’t get one darn thank-you.

So THANK-YOU mom for all the days you cleaned our clothes, washed our bedding, vacuumed the floors, scrubbed our toilets, ironed our fancy shirts, brought us to  practise, did the dishes alone, bought the groceries, took out the garbage, cooked us the most luscious meals and nobody noticed.  Today I take note, today I acknowledge for all the days I didn’t.  Thank you for nurturing the life spaces that made our life turn round.

Thank-you for the great big ball of love we got every day.  I didn’t know how to value what was so special and sacred then mom, but I do now!  I’m so sorry nobody noticed or took for granted what you did, cause what you did and still do is Divine.

You are far more what you did for us, you were the heart of our home, the epicenter of our family universe that kept the love and light circulating.  You bonded us by weaving love through us and all around.  You are a warrior, a sacred weaver of love webs.  You are a Divine Feminine Goddess who brewed up love and magic and our home was your cauldron.

To all the mothers, special aunties, grandma’s and sisters, you are the blooming flowers of the world, spreading colorful beauty, love and magical enchantment.  You are the “home”-makers or our houses, building us a safe, nurturing, cozy place to exist and grow.  You are the unicorns in the rainbows, the first snow flakes of the season.  You are the womb of all life, all love, all joy. You are the mermaids in the oceans, the full moon and shooting stars in the dark night sky.SACRED ART2

Take a bow, for you are a Goddess.

May you give yourself spoonfuls of your own Divine Love on this magical day.

I bow to you, I honor you.  You matter so much to this world.  You are the breath of all life.  You are the womb of creation.  You are the angel dust in the world, the unseen magical forces that circulates the pulse of the Divine.  You are so Sacred.

Cheers to you and your Divine Feminine, natural ways of Mother.  Happy Mother’s Day.

Muahhhh!!!

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Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Day 2 – Expressing A Bit of Our Wild

expressing our wildGood morning!  This is Day 2 of the 30 Day Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Challenge.  (Click here for details and join us anytime).

All right folks, we are going to up the ante today.  I want you to take some deep breaths, close your eyes, and imagine yourself at your raw, wild, free, colorful self.  Your bright, your beautiful, your glorious, you shine like the stars and have an aura of gold dust.  Breathe it in, feel this wild, soulful, luscious soul held inside your body.  Soften your body so she can gently ooze her energy out.

Move your arms and let her flow, move your legs and let them glide across the floor like each step were a sacred dance.

What does she feel like?

Who are you at your wild?

What are you wearing?

How long is your hair, what color is it?

What type of clothes are you wearing?

Are they flowing fabrics or buck skins?

What color are they?

What’s on your face?  Any jewelry?  Paint lines? Bindi’s?  Jewels?

Just let your imagination soar!!  When you have a solid image of your wild, luscious, radiant feminine soul, journal about it or doodle an image in representation.

SACRED TASK OF THE DAY –  A PEEP OF WILD!

Today we are going to pay homage to that inner Feminine Divine and sport a unique piece of clothing like a funky hat, or some wild shoes, or a bold scarf like it were an offering to the Divine Mother herself.  Or you can you wear some bright, bold lipstick, or some extra glittery eyelashes, whatever it is you are allowing yourself to leak out a piece of your wild.  You can wear a flower in your hair or a great big bow, or maybe a flowing skirt, anything that unites you your Inner Wild Feminine Soul.  This is a sacred act, a prayer in the form of sacred expression.  When I go into ceremonies the colors and garments I wear are important, intentional, expressive.  This is the same, this is a ceremony into your everyday life.  It is bringing the Sacred here, right now, as though expressing your soul was the most honoring and loving act you can do.  The world needs your color and joy so radiate it, baby!  As you meander through your day, notice how you feel revealing a piece of your wild.  Let it be the grounding stone to your tribal, wild soul.

Do you feel confident?

Are you feeling vulnerable?

Can you enjoy this small risk of expression of your soul out into the world?

Journal about your observations and share your experiences in Feed Your Feminine Soul Group or The Women’s Tribe Facebook page.

Have some fun with this, it’s a releasing and celebrating and enjoying your wild, feminine roots.  Can’t wait to hear your experiences. Post some pics of what you wore or how you celebrated your wild today in your clothing or accessories 🙂

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Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Day 1 – Be a Bad-Ass Goddess in the Kitchen.

goddess in the kitchenDay 1 – Let’s start right now!  It’s day 1 of our  30 Day Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Challenge (find it here.)

Friday….oh how love Fridays.  It’s pizza night if our house. I make homemade pizza each every Friday…yum!

On this lovely Friday, I invite you to start gently, dip your toe into the Sacred Wild vessel.   Put on some tunes while you cook tonight.  But it’s not just any ordinary night, it’s your WILD cooking tonight!

As you begin to form an elixir of magical and nutritional elements for your family or even in compiling the takeout onto lovely serving platters, take in some deep breaths.  Breathe in the magic.  Begin to imagine yourself at your wild, primal, tribal roots.  Your fierce, your colorful, your flowing, your loose.  Now begin to create a beautiful meal or serve a beautiful dish as this self.  Imagine cooking was a prayer, an expression, an art form.  You are a shaman, blending all the energies and elements into life force energy (aka food) for your tribe.

Crank those tunes, dance, stir, mix, pound the dough invoking your wild magic into the room and in the air.  Get into it.  Pour yourself a glass of sparkling water or vino or juice or a Coca-Cola.  Just enjoy the sacred moment of art alchemy in the kitchen.  Allow yourself to tap into that wild, feminine goddess energy and create abundance on a plate.  You are a portal, a beacon of light, transforming elements into food, energy and sustenance.  That’s bad-ass!

Act as though each action were a prayer.  Each addition of ingredient were a healing herb in your soul food.

This is the act of intention, of focus, of visualization.  You are bringing the magic, the wild, the fun into everyday living, everyday tasks, every day routines as though they were fun pieces of the grand puzzle.  Might as well bring some sparkle to it all.

So here we go, beginning our Wildly, Luscious Soulful Living plan tonight, in our homes, in our kitchens while connecting to our wild, tribal, bad-ass self.  Start bringing the Sacred into everyday life, through intention.

Write Out Your Wild- Writing Explorations…

-What was it like to hold the invite in the Sacred and Your Wild into your everyday life?  What was different about it?

-What elements really helped you connect to the Divine in your own everyday space? Was it a thought, a vision, an action?

-How did you feel during the process and after?

Please share your experiences on the Feed Your Feminine Soul FB Group Page. Let’s build our community of wild, feminine, tribal souls finding our way home to our primal, instinctual, soulful roots!  Or comment about it on The Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.

Ahhhhwooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Enjoy your wild!

xo

C.T.C

astrology, ceremony, creativity, meditation, Spirituality, womens health

Go Buck Wild with this November New Moon Ritual!

nov moon1Ahhhhh…..a return to my home sign Sagittarius.  Another year of my life soon completed as my birthday fast approaches.  So much to reflect on this year….what an interesting year.

Tomorrow’s New Moon falls just as Sagittarius busts out of the gates and that’s some good and exciting news.  Us Sagittarius folk are about freedom.  Freedom…freedom…and more freedom.  We are free-spirited centaurs; half animal, half human and we love to play, explore and adventure out. We are thirsty for knowledge and know that it is through experience and exploration that we drink it in.  We are bright eyed and busy tailed, voluptuous thinkers and visionaries.  When we have an idea we run with it, not just in the farm yard but to borders and beyond.  We stretch the impossible limits with exciting visions and move towards the so called “unreachable”.  We dare to travel there, not just for the guts and glory of the pursuit but also for the radically fun ride of adventure down the trail of the unknown and un-travelled possibilities.

My statue of Goddess Tara was also an inspiration for this month’s new moon.  I typically keep her on my fireplace mantel but with Christmas Season my son wanted to put some snowmen in her spot.  So I reluctantly agreed and moved her onto my altar.  Wowza!  She’s been calling to go there.  She is the “mother of liberation” and she represents the virtues of success in work and achievements.  She governs the life, death and rebirth cycles and is often associated with Luna and the Moon cycles.  So allow Goddess Tara to see your visions, have fun and stretch those thinking limits into the realms of imagination, visioning and fun exploration for the soul.  Write down two or three goals you have for this moon cycle and sit it on your altar with some tobacco, corn meal or epson salts.  I have an offering plate where I leave my monthly moon goals and I tell ya’ they’ve been working.

NEW MOON RITUAL:  So in honor of this New Moon in Sagittarius I invite you to create a collage with all your radical, wild, free spirited visions for your life.  Go ahead, write them down, collage them, see them…and dare to dream them.  Have fun, play, and make visible your wild and free wishes.  Dare to dream the unthinkable and go for it.

Life is but an adventure, so embrace the Sagittarius energy and go buck wild in the adventurous realms of your soul.  Let yourself be sagittariously free spirited and charge into new visions and ideas.

Enjoy, it will be a great month.

C.

Picture from Pinterest.