astrology, ceremony, Full Moon, healing, meditation, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

A Healing Full Moon/Eclipse Ritual & Your Inner Queen

full moon march

Happy FULL Moon and Lunar Eclipse. The energies are brewing, the cauldron is stirring, the chaos,emotions, turmoil, struggles, and calls to grow and expand are bubbling.  Our unhealed shadowy selves are called to the surface so we can free them from the cages, free them from the rapture of old wounded ways and alas heal the cuts of the past.

Just the other day while walking my dogs, I heard this strange loud chirping in the trees. I’d never heard such a strange and loud gawk from birds before and wondered what the heck was calling in such in an unusual howl.  Then I seen my dogs jumping onto the bottom of a tree while an innocent ole’ ground hound gripped on for life to a branch near the top shrieking those unusual howls.

The Ground hog tells us…(from http://www.spirit-animals.com/groundhog/)

“You are being asked to explore altered states of consciousness deeper. The answers are within you – however you just have not dug deep enough to find the root of it. Groundhog can also be letting you know that you need to pay attention to your metabolism. Be aware of how your diet influences your natural bodies cycles and to make dietary adjustments to balance the workings of your body.

Alternatively Groundhog can be giving you fair warning that you have overstepped someone boundaries or someone is overstepping yours. Best is to resolve the situation with respect and from the heart.”

This full moon is in Libra, the sign about relationships.  Throw in a lunar eclipse and the intensity quadruples.  Lunar eclipses bring endings, shifts, and sudden change.

This fits well with Ground Hog’s message about boundaries, especially concerning relationships.  For me, I have someone in my life that I must deal with who constantly pushes and tries and over step my boundaries.  But I must look at the root, at my own causal piece in this.  I get thrown off, annoyed, frustrated, even irritated.  My mind sometimes loops into his trail of chaos and un-groundedness and  I literally start spinning with him until I remember to ground, stay firm, follow the agreements.

He rages, gets annoyed, calls me down, makes me the problem. But that’s okay.  My job is to figure out my stance.  As I enter the dream world to get some guidance and Higher vision on this circumstance, I see a large yard with a short white picket fence.  This is symbolic to my boundaries…nice, small, easy to step over.  So I ask my guides, how can I prevent him from stepping over my fence.

“Build a taller, stronger fence!” they say.

Of course! Keep things firm.  Don’t compromise, don’t adjust.  Focus on my peace, my emotional well-being, not his responses.  Easier said then done.  My inner cauldron of wounds, bubble over with feelings of fear and uncertainly.  I’m uncomfortable asserting my line knowing I will be met with resistance, with push back.  I get ready, get defensive, get myself preparing for the next set of attacks.  I want this response, this pattern to end.  It’s bullshit.  So I look inward to explore where the wound is so I can make the change.

I have this lingering patterned response, a neuro-conscious response (in mind-body therapy terms) where fear pumps into my chest when I must assert myself or express that my boundary has been crossed.  I feel childlike, timid, afraid of asserting my voice, my stance.  It stems from my childhood.  I’m afraid of getting into trouble.  But this belief, is old, tiresome, out dated.

So I follow the trail to the root.  Why am I afraid to assert myself? I know it stems from my dad, as much as I love him, when I was younger he yelled a lot when I’d try and find my voice.  It made me shrink in the face of conflict, authority, or anger.  I get afraid.  But what am I afraid of?  Being rejected? Being reprimanded?  Being wrong?

I get all twisted up in another’s point of view instead of remaining grounded in my own.  I start to question my accuracy, if I’m being selfish or the purity of my intent.  I doubt myself, and my knees start to wobble, I begin to feel weak and less confident in myself and my ability to assert my boundary begins to crumble.  I give in, stay silent and cower in the face of conflict only to beat myself up for stumbling.

There’a a connection to my voice, like somehow I won’t be believed or heard or honored. inner queenThere’s an old belief that my voice won’t be listened to so I go to the extreme defense protecting myself, trying to get validated, understood, and heard from the other person. This feels like to the root of my over-active immune system (auto-immune), always on the defense, hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant for attack and I must protect myself.  But there’s a difference between being overly cautions “on the defense” with being firm, assertive, and a Queen.  Rather than protecting my fence with a metal-suited soldier, I can call upon my inner Queen to simply stand there and energetically hold her presence.  There’s no defense, there’s confidence, certainty, trust in Herself, her power, her decision.  TRUST IN HERSELF! It’s just an energy of upholding the line, not defending it.

My inner Queen says to my inner child, “Who cares!  Who cares if he rejects you, you’ve already rejected him.  He can’t reprimand you and no, your feelings are not wrong.  Do not be afraid to expect your boundaries to be respected!  That is your right.”  

Expect to be respected. There is such power in that.  That is where my wound lies.  I have expected to be disrespected and prepare for this instead of standing firm in my right to be respected.  I will expect to be respected.  That just completely changes the energy of everything, don’t you think?! 🙂

“How can I feel as strong and confident as you?” my scared, child part asks my Queen.

“Put on your crown and cape little girl and believe in your own authority.”

I imagine my little girl with the crown and cape the Queen has gifted her and she feels naturally more confident and sure of herself.  She knows, she remembers, she owns that she is indeed a Queen. A Queen with power, assertion, and authority.  She commands the stage with her presence.

And so it is.

FULL MOON/ LUNAR ECLIPSE HEALING RITUAL:

Grab your journal, light a candle, put on some music and spark up an incense.  Drift inward, imagine seeing your inner child.  It’s time to dive inward to where we need balance and restoration.  It’s time to end old, wounded ways of being.

 

It’s time to dream, go inward and write and reflect with your magical inner world.  Get out your journals, turn on the switch to your imagination and travel into the healing gates of wonder…

1)Explore your inner parts, particularly your inner child, the wounded child.  What patterns, beliefs, wounds keep you stuck in old wounded patterns in your relationship? What does your inner child look like?  What are they wearing, what is their stance, what is their energy and presence?  What words or feelings come to mind with this part of you?

3) Think of a relationship with a certain person or people that you have been struggling with. Imagine the relationship dynamic or your presence in the relationships in the form of a landscape that reflects your boundaries and interactions within it.  What do you see and notice? What is there? What colors and images? What does this say about your patterns or wounded beliefs?

4)  Imagine seeing your inner Queen walking from her castle to this landscape. How does she move, feel and change the feeling with her presence?  What does she look like?

5) Ask her how you can heal this old pattern in your relationship or relationships and see if she will give you something, an object or objects to help you in shifting this old way of relating.

Share your experiences 🙂

And so it is!!!

 

This moon’s mantra.  “I assert my boundaries with ease by owning and stepping into my Inner Queen.”

 

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A “Writing Wild” Exercise to Free Your Caged Soul

This day 5 of the 30 Day Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Challenge (found here, join us anytime).caged soul

Today we return to the writing circle, cast our questions into the sky and allow the universal energies to guide us as our pens hit the pages for revolutionary writing and Sacred Expression. Hallelujah!

It is a bit of a difficult time for many folks, the energies are forcing out the dark, unheard, unmet energies within.  The soul is howling for release.  She wants out on the soul path, she wants out in your life.  She wants to howl, roam, play and dance like She’s never been allowed to before.

The time is now.  We are in the pressure cooker between the eclipses, the emotional guck is oozing out for release, for deep and lasting healing so get your hands dirty and clean out the guck in those sore spots.  Ooze your stuff onto the pages, paint, dance, scream, howl or run it out. Know it intimately like it were your teacher, a sacred messenger freeing your soul from the shackles of your ego mind.  You want out, you want freedom, you want alive, scrumptious joy.  So have at her and listen to the gloom for it shall guide you home.

So many of us are feeling the bondage of living without the luscious, juicy taste of of our wild natures in our lives.   We feel it in our restlessness, sadness, despair even doom.  We feel an inner ache, deep in our bones of wanting change, wanting to get out, want to be free and enjoy life….not just get up, go to mundane work, pay the bills and repeat.  Life is luscious, meant to be indulged, enjoyed, enveloped with magic, filled with bright pink clouds and rainbows.  But the repeat and auto-pilot button get’s us caged, rattled, even ravenous for freedom.  This is the territory of self-sabotage, addictions, depression, and doom.

We need to bust out, we need to dance with the Divine and allow our souls to emerge in our lives.  But how you ask?

What are your passions?  What lights you up light a bright green exploding firecracker on a dark moon night sky?  What makes you laugh?  What makes your toes curl with pleasure?  What feeds you so much you can go days between doses?

Some of us will be able to make livings off of our passions, some of us will dive into our passions after work or on our lunch hours, we must make the time.  Make it a delicious game in and of itself, how can you squeeze in your soul song, your passionate soul feeding hobby or activity that lights you like a beacon?  How shall you squeeze it in?  It’s a sacred dance between our sometimes mundane, yet life sustaining responsibilities and our need for free spirited play.  Each day is challenge for you to find a way to do the dance between the worlds.  Each day is a sacred opportunity to start anew.  Make it a fun game.

In the end, the point is to live in the lightning rod of aliveness and in the radiant joy of electric neon colors.   We need to make space for this in our life, whether we do it for a living or not.  The universe doesn’t care for your job title or role, She cares if you make space dance in the wild rain, or if you stroll in the alive and living forest, or if you play in the mossy green grass.  She cares if you seen the glorious sunset or did you drive on right by it.  She cares if you drink in the moments, even if it’s just for minutes.  She challenges you to expand it in your everyday life….how can you let the rainbows in?

Plug in, indulge, delight, nourish your souls by taking the first step and begin to see where you want to go…  We will work some more with these energies for the next few days as well.

So get your pens out.  It’s time for Writing Wild Step 1.MAGIC DUST

Light a candle, put on some sweet tunes, light an incense and set your timers for 5 minutes.  Set it and repeat for each question.  Don’t lift your pen off the page for 5 minutes, just keep writing, flow, swim, float along with the words and see where you end up after the timer.

I just came into your life with a magic wand and blew some magic dust on you.  I gave you the magic gift of doing anything. You get to create your life how you want it exactly.  You get to live with wild, free, magic gold dust spread all around….what would your life look like?  

What would you be doing?  What would happen in your day?  Who is with you?  What is different?

And go………………………soar into the unknown territory of you magic and let the gold dust speak.

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Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Day 2 – Expressing A Bit of Our Wild

expressing our wildGood morning!  This is Day 2 of the 30 Day Wildly, Luscious, Soulful Living Challenge.  (Click here for details and join us anytime).

All right folks, we are going to up the ante today.  I want you to take some deep breaths, close your eyes, and imagine yourself at your raw, wild, free, colorful self.  Your bright, your beautiful, your glorious, you shine like the stars and have an aura of gold dust.  Breathe it in, feel this wild, soulful, luscious soul held inside your body.  Soften your body so she can gently ooze her energy out.

Move your arms and let her flow, move your legs and let them glide across the floor like each step were a sacred dance.

What does she feel like?

Who are you at your wild?

What are you wearing?

How long is your hair, what color is it?

What type of clothes are you wearing?

Are they flowing fabrics or buck skins?

What color are they?

What’s on your face?  Any jewelry?  Paint lines? Bindi’s?  Jewels?

Just let your imagination soar!!  When you have a solid image of your wild, luscious, radiant feminine soul, journal about it or doodle an image in representation.

SACRED TASK OF THE DAY –  A PEEP OF WILD!

Today we are going to pay homage to that inner Feminine Divine and sport a unique piece of clothing like a funky hat, or some wild shoes, or a bold scarf like it were an offering to the Divine Mother herself.  Or you can you wear some bright, bold lipstick, or some extra glittery eyelashes, whatever it is you are allowing yourself to leak out a piece of your wild.  You can wear a flower in your hair or a great big bow, or maybe a flowing skirt, anything that unites you your Inner Wild Feminine Soul.  This is a sacred act, a prayer in the form of sacred expression.  When I go into ceremonies the colors and garments I wear are important, intentional, expressive.  This is the same, this is a ceremony into your everyday life.  It is bringing the Sacred here, right now, as though expressing your soul was the most honoring and loving act you can do.  The world needs your color and joy so radiate it, baby!  As you meander through your day, notice how you feel revealing a piece of your wild.  Let it be the grounding stone to your tribal, wild soul.

Do you feel confident?

Are you feeling vulnerable?

Can you enjoy this small risk of expression of your soul out into the world?

Journal about your observations and share your experiences in Feed Your Feminine Soul Group or The Women’s Tribe Facebook page.

Have some fun with this, it’s a releasing and celebrating and enjoying your wild, feminine roots.  Can’t wait to hear your experiences. Post some pics of what you wore or how you celebrated your wild today in your clothing or accessories 🙂

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A Letter to my Voice – Another Round of Writing Wild…

Hi All, Here’s another writing exercise.

I wrote a letter to my voice…asking for forgiveness…and this is what emerged.  So go on…give it a whirl, sing your wild song with me.  Take the pen, set the timer and speak to your lovely voice beside you.  What do you want to tell Her?  And go….Just flow like the wind onto the pages and smile.

My Dearest Sacred Voice,

wild woman fireI’m so sorry hurt you.  I never meant to.  I’m even sorrier that I lost out and paid the price for not uniting and intertwining our energies.  I have kept you at bay, solitary and alone.  I indulged in your presence only with myself, hidden in the woods.  Yet I know you are meant to expand your rays, your fiery arms out into the world and instead I tame you.  I pour buckets of water on you.

“Why?” you ask.  Because, I have been afraid.  Afraid to be alone, rejected….scorned.  I have been afraid to powerhouse your song out into my world for what would happen?  I was silenced years ago, you and I parted ways.  I was scolded, burned, humiliated…annihilated for singing your wild, free tune.

I see you and your wild free energy, burning a blaze of golden fire, dancing, swirling, becoming stronger, larger, louder and it is time to choose.  Do I reach my hand to you or forever turn away?  You are my wild voice, the song of my soul, the expression of my ancestral tribal nature.

Dare I dance with you?  Dare I fall into your burning flames and reveal my naked soul to the world?

What will happen to my life?

You shall rejoice you say.

What will happen to my song?

It will float in the wind and you will be set free.

And suddenly I notice, I am no longer looking at you, watching you, calling to you…I am seeing through your eyes.  It is raw, vulnerable… defenceless.   And yet it is powerful.  It is a trusting of the Gods, a trusting of my instinctual self, for my eyes only pierce the world with Truth.  It is a becoming like no other for it is a shedding rather than a gathering or a doing.  It is a revelation of what was already there.

I’m no longer afraid of the consequences, of getting in trouble or being misunderstood.  I simply no longer care, for you are my voice and having separated you has been the ultimate price all along.  I died more each moment I kept you silent.

I speak, I share and I reveal my tribal and wild nature for this is me.  Take me as I am.

I am wild, free, and alive like a white Sterling trotting into the wild nature, hair flowing in the wind with each wild gallop.wild

I am home.

The song shall be sung.

I hope you can forgive me.

xo

Crystal

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Flaming Woman Picture Source : https://www.pinterest.com/bluejay72001/fire-ice-water-goddess/

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To Whom It May Concern – I have a Week to Live (A Writing Exercise)

Hi Friends.  I’m doing this writing class right now and the just of the question is…Write a letter or a story or a poem in your last week to live.  What would you say?  What words do you want to leave behind…

joyThis is what I said….

To Whom it May Concern,

Turns out I have about a week to live.  Life kind of flashes before your eyes as you approach death’s door and it’s interesting to think about what you’ll take with you to the other side.

Much of my teen years and twenties were spent trying to become something.  I felt this pull to do better, do more, achieve, achieve, achieve like it were a drug that fed my worth and my ability live life.  I sought out titles and medals for accolades because it was the only way I knew how to fill my bucket.  I needed things, recognition, celebration and external success to feel good enough.  It’s a cultural phenomenon so who can really blame me.

But in my late twenties and early thirties I learned a different way of being.   Life knocked me down off my high horse so I could see the beauty of the underworld.   I learned the gift of just Being…and to unite with my wild, colorful, tribal roots.  It was my connection to my wild soul that was really the secret to life all along.  I felt full for the first time ever, not from the outside but from within.  It wasn’t a desperate reaching for something outside of me in order to feel loved or good enough, it was a natural oozing out of my Source, a release, a letting go of all the shiny beams I was holding inside.  I didn’t have to do a darn thing.  I beamed light because I was light.  I had danced in it, swirled through the hoops of its’ company and I leaked out golden rays of life in my world.  My bucket was finally full because I released who I really was out of me and into the outside world.  It never really was about becoming anything, but Being myself at the Sacred.  It was about enjoying the Sacred in every possible moment in my life, even if it were doing dishes or running a cleansing bath for my son.  I approached each task like it were an active prayer.

I learned to soak in the energy, the magic of the moment like were a sponge and ring it out into my world.  I absorbed all life had to offer me by feeling it and rolling in it like it were a colorful explosion of dust on the ground.  My pen was my gateway between the worlds, inner reflection and outer resolution, it were really a life line to my Divine.  I have nothing left unsaid, unfelt or untouched for I have loved every moment, even when I didn’t think I did.  I see how all the crooked trails, all the painful sorrows, were all part of this life’s equation, to come to the answer of a life filled with love, Being and connected to my wild.

So as I sit and reflect what I will take with me to the other side it is not roles or titles or accomplishments, it is my son’s smile, the pulsating high of endorphins that rattle my chest because of the love I have experienced with my husband.  I will take the still moments when the moon shone brightly in the dark night sky, or the gift I received in seeing the beautiful crystallized snowflake on my dog’s nose.  I will take the soft caress of the wind on my face and the warmth of the sun against my cold skin.  I will bring home the magic that this life had to offer and I will gallop on my wild horse to the gates of the other world.  Look for a trail of golden dust, it shall sparkle in the sky as I paint colorful clouds all the way there.

For whoever reads this note, this last little bit of sharing I have left, start Being in your life. Focus less on becoming something and plant your feet right in the sacred moment, the exact pearl you are standing in the thread of life and indulge joyously in the crisp, juicy taste of its magic.  It is Divine all around, soak it in.  Life is art baby, go live it!

And so it is.

Xo

Crystal

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5 Minute Reflective Writing Exercise for the Retrograde.

writingMy mind is still on feelings.  Feelings….gotta love those feelings (this plays as a fun little jingle in my head). I feel that because we are in a mercury retrograde we must continue to reflect AND feel the old stuff that is surfacing to sort through.  We become clear this way.  It’s like forming a “yay” or “nay” pile of emotional cargo we are keeping and releasing.  What is coming up for you?  What is whispering at you through trickles of anxiety in your gut or scratching at your ferociously in your throat?  Are you teary?  Are you joyful?  Are you inspired?  What gift is this emotional information bringing to you?  What do you need?

I feel a bit stuck, spinning, swirling…moving in all directions not just one. I got caught up in my head. Even my writing got stuck because I was writing with my mind and not from my guts, not from the place of my primal, tribal, feminine soul, swirling with colorful paintbrushes on the landscape of my life but from the place of the “shoulds”.  And, that’s the shits!  So I listened to the stuckness and heard what it had to say.  Go buck wild, play, indulge in fun.   Joyously release the old.  Retrogrades are a time of reflecting and tying up the past, bring closure to the unfinished business.

I was pushing to hard, trying to force something rather than allowing it to emerge simply on its own.   I was standing in front of a few different pathways trying to figure out which one I should travel down.  One path I tried in the past and walked away from it, it just didn’t fit.  Here it was again sitting at the the crossroads and I contemplated taking it but the universe and my health intervened and I did not walk that road.  I realize how much that closing that door was a gift even though part of me wanted to take it.  It wasn’t truly me, I’d be twisting and turning myself trying to make it fit.  And in restorative yoga class, the answers occurred, just share and be and walk the path that has always been inside you.  I’m already down the right road, be patient, trust and most importantly…dance!! 😉

There’s an energy within that naturally wants to be danced out not forced out fiercely and quickly.  It shuts down like that and quivers into a corner, unwilling to come forth by force.

I had the pleasure of going out for lunch with a good pal and we chatted some about feelings and how many of us are so afraid to hear them as sacred messengers.   I’m sure every one of us has had a bout of feeling down, maybe it’s depression (which is simply stagnation/inertia/stuckness of energy).  And maybe it’s not.  However it’s a feeling of being ho hum, down, blue.  Maybe you’re like me and you feel irritated, on edge, agitated, emotional, leaking tears at every turn.  This is information!!! Let us listen to it.  There’s a deep deep message and sometimes that message is not what we want to hear but it is our truth.  It’s often information that our souls and minds are not in unity, instead our minds are running the show.  Our wild, free spirits get annoyed, agitated, and feel devalued, even hurt.  Our soul whispers or sometimes screams through our tears….”I’m not happy in this job or relationship.  I’m dying on the inside in all these care-giving roles….I need more.”

WRITING EXERCISE:  Going Inward.

Go to that primal, tribal,feminine woman in you.  Imagine her inside your body, your being.  What does she look like.  Feel her emerge.  Take a posture or stance that feels like hers.  Become her.   From that place I want you to write.  Set your timer for five minutes and just write with the following prompt.  “I need….”  Don’t lift your pen, don’t think, just go wild on the page for five luscious minutes and let her speak up.  Stretch your imagination and invite in your wildest dreams….This is how we feel fulfilled when we tap into our inner wild.

Please do share your experiences 🙂

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“Have You Become the Woman You Want To Be?”

womaniwnat tobeI was up early this morning and got a chance to watch the 6 am Super Soul Sunday air on the OWN channel.  One of my favorite author’s Sue Monk Kidd was her guest, what a treat!  If you haven’t read any of her work I highly recommend you do.  My favorites are Dance of the Dissident Daughter and Traveling with Pomegranates.  Although, she is most known for her novel, The Secret Life of Bees, my favorites are still her more autobiographical work and reflections.

Anyhow, in the interview Oprah asks her, “Have you Become the Woman You Want to Be?”

Jolt!! That question stunned me into paralysis like a gun to the temple.

And so I share with you the question and encourage you to make a journal entry answering Oprah’s stun gun of a question.  Just let the pen ride and let her take you to where she needs to go…flow….just flow.  Follow the tide inward and let Her emerge…  Put your timers on for a glorious 8 minutes and go!

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Here’s my entry….

For me, this past year was quite something.  I have been off sick from work for a year now, low energy and with a blood disorder.  It literally forced me to sit in beingness not doingness.  I went from living a fast paced life as a single mother with a full-time job, a two-hour commute, and a to do list a mile long while running full speed on a quarter tank of gas, to stopped in my track stillness.  Stopped…almost dead… into sit and rest stillness.  I’ve been turned upside down, flipped around, turned inside out and it is there, in that place, upside down, dangling from the rope of my old life, feet up to the sky, swaying with uncertainty and the unknown that I came face to face with the woman I want to be.  She’s tribal, primal, naked, raw, alive, loud, vivacious, emotional, colorful, reflective, intuitive, in union with herself, with the Creator and with her tribe.  She’s fierce and soft, gentle and bold. She’s marked with tribal lines across her face and her hair is long and wild.  She’s confident and assured in herself and its beautiful.  She’s in union with her Feminine nature, allowing her tribal DNA to emerge and express itself in her life and she follows her tribal, primal instincts. As I hang upside from the overturn of my life, our eyes meet as we look to each other face to face, me upside down hanging and her looking up from the inward life of my inner cave.  I have reached my hand to her and she’s reached hers to me.

I have always got a sense of worth out of my doingness, that’s the culture we live in.  I’ve got ego strokes from my job titles or sport accomplishments, or my superwoman mask who has overdoing super powers and does life and a high pace velocity. But, this year, I can say in doing almost nothing because I couldn’t, in sitting and being, writing and creating emotional expressions, I am on my way to becoming the woman I want to be.  I was brought home to my own original nature, pure, and feminine, inward and reflective.  I am far more authentic, real, and honest to myself because I have nothing else to do but listen, learn, and experience what it is.  I feel like I have taken off the final mask and finally showed my real face.   As I removed it I felt vulnerable, even fearful, ready for rejection and humiliation.  And yet, I am just sitting here, mask removed not really caring about how another feels about but instead, how I can continue to create my life so I can live without it for good.

I can say I am less people-pleasing and more able to tend to myself and my own needs first while actually being okay with that.  I am in the nitty, gritty of my emotions and they are honest and real and I tend to them…usually.  I’ve been stripped down from all I have known, all titles, roles, activities and into my Feminine Core where my intuition, emotions and creative needs have been sitting and waiting for me and I have bravely and sometimes reluctantly tended to them.  I wouldn’t make the space for them in my life, so they made space for me in my life to tend to them.

So here I am meeting myself in the raw.  I watch as my heart’s needs and desires show up and I can choose to reflect or turn away from them.  I can choose to release them or deny them.  Have a wine or write.   I am a woman in process, a woman working hard to be authentic by being present to her inner world and daring to walk in union, not separation, with that world. It takes guts and it ain’t easy!  I have been trained to sell myself out, to flick the switch off to what is occurring within to get shit done or because it was easier to say yes when I really wanted to say no.  I instead want to live in honor to myself by honoring and expressing my needs and emotions, using my voice, saying no and doing what I want to do simply cause I want to do it.  I don’t want to reject and deny myself anymore because others are more comfortable when I do.  I want to make space for the whisper in my gut that says I want more.  I want to live more wildly, more freely in union with my tribal, primal roots and play way more often.  I want to be less serious and more silly.  I want to make and take my own sacred time for myself, my own inner union and not abandon that time because somebody else needs me.   I’m on my way to becoming that woman…still practicing to keep united and not abandon the inner sea just for the comforts of validation and acceptance from another. What a ride, what a process.  Here I am still wavering at sea, riding the tides and looking less at the shore.

Aho! And so it is.