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What If I Punched Fear in the Face and Let my Magic Leak Out? What if you did too??

magicWhat if I dared to jump off the cliff and punched fear in the face? What if I took the last piece of  chest armor off and trusted that the universe shall hold me in her arms and wrap me with loving protection,safety and security simply by believing in her?

Can it be done?  My mind is trying to wrestle me into “reality” and the old cautionary tale.

What if I trusted that being in the unknown, the portal between the worlds of change was okay?

I’ve always had on my defensive suite, ready for heartbreak, ready for fear, ready to run and escape and attack whatever was around the corner..

What if i changed this whole paradigm, this whole way of existing on edge, on the defense, on guard and surrendered into the pocket of the universal forces calling me to rest in her palm?

What if i didn’t set-up my life with one foot on the safety net, as though I believed life would fall apart, something would destruct and my survival were at risk?  What if I practiced faith and trust fully, for real..in life, in myself, in all good things.  My heart is expanding, softening and opening just at the thoughts in this possibility.

I feel a connection, an aliveness, a vast explosion of wild colors in myself at the thoughts of the Divine fully integrated in my life.  In this moment I feel connected to all life, I see the tapestry of it all like it were a video game made by Creation.

What if I approached every obstacle with radical trust that the universe was brewing something wildly different for me and all I had to do was float along on the sailboat into the change ahead rather than fight to the death the change that lie ahead? What if change or loss, or endings were not life-threatening and simply re-birthing into something more grand than I could ever imagine?

Is this full blown faith?  Is this divine trust?  This feels magical.  My mind wants to squash it and tell me to be realistic, to grip into the smartest, safest choice, but my soul wants magic and deep faithful aliveness.  I want to exist by flying in the sparkling dust of this Faith.  Tears stream with the remembering of this deep connection of the Divine in my life, we have drifted from each other the last while.

I’m shocked looking at this powerful mirror of my existence.  I have always existed on the defense.  I have built my life as a safety net, as a way to exist in the face of crisis or emergency, always having a back-up plan for my back-up plan. I have anticipated life falling apart (again and again) and have not fully moved in my depths, my heart.  I have stood rigid, on guard and protective for myself just in case.  I have remained the professional, responsible, logical, planned, realistic woman, having the reigns of control in my hands.  Protecting myself from anticipated pain or loss and I have wrapped a piece of my heart, my own divinity in protective metal.

I have done an injustice to myself.  I have allowed fear to envelop me and I have not lived fully from my center.  I have moments in my center, in trust, in my core, but I have always worn protection against the anticipation of doom.  I have had doom before, my whole life fell apart and I was brought closest to my pure existence, to my soul.  I lost all ego constructs, my house, my job, my marriage, my dogs (in the divorce) and was left with the bare minimum.  In my bare minimum I was closest to Spirit, to the Universal Forces, to my own soul.

Don’t get me wrong, in my life now I move into my depths, and my heart, I dive in explore the ocean of existence within myself but I have not created my life to express the full blown magical waters it is.  I have only made pockets of it.  I have created my life to mirror my inner protector…safe, linear, logical, well planned, a “just in-case” kind of life.  I have built it in preparation for it to fall apart, I have safety nets all over.

invokationThis means, I have lived a life with a Core of FEAR and believe things won’t work out!  I have assumed the worst, waited for the shoe to drop. I assume heartache and pain, curve balls and road turns are just around the corner and I pad myself up with protective part living so when life crashes it won’t hurt so bad.  I won’t feel the sting.  I keep my foot in a job that can sustain me “in case” things fail rather than jump into the ocean of trust and faith and creative juices as an artist or life art practitioner or whatever the hell that may be.

What if I lived with sweet surrender, Divine Faith and Trust in the Universe herself like she always has my back, because this I know to be true but I act differently in my life than this knowing.  Every time life has knocked me around, the Universe always had my back, every.single.time.

What if I flew arms wide open into the winds of change trusting that Universe is calling this from me and supporting me and opened myself to the Grace of what the universe shall bring?

Will there be difficulty, challenges, uncertainties, hell yeah but I don’t have to surrender my authentic, core, trusting, loving, faithful center and get into my defensive, fearful, life will fall apart believing self, ready to fight against pain.  Instead I can approach life with a gentleness, a sweet, soft knowing that all is occurring as She was ever meant to.

The Universe is calling me back home into a life of trust and surrender in her sweet arms.  She is calling me to believe in the good of the world, that physical life is spiritual life, they are not separate entities, just different energetic expressions of Existence and Creation herself.

She is asking me to shed the veils, remove the safety nets and full blown fucking live…alive…juicy…emotional.  This is a 180 change in my life, a softening, a surrender, a trust in the Divine Herself.  Perhaps then my immune system shall soften 😉

I feel an openness in my heart, an awakening in my breath, an aliveness in my bones as think about cutting the safety nets off of my life.

“Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life itself reveals again and again the opposite: that letting go is the path to real freedom.”  (From Om Element page)

And so it is…

xo

Crystal

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Your Body is a Sacred She Not an It.

sacred body 2Loving your body is an inside job.  It actually has nothing to do with your weight or size.  It is recognizing that your body is a Sacred She, not an “it”.  That’s a She with a capital “S”.  She is your soul in form, an extension of the deepest part of you.  This can be a bit of a foreign concept for some of us who were taught that Spirit is outside of our bodies and the body is just a place of sin and weakness. I challenge this assumption.

Hogwash, I say!

Your body is a sacred keeper and the physical form of the deepest part of you. This is called Embodied Spirituality, where connecting to your body is really connecting to the Divine.  Imagine living a life centered around your relationship to your body, knowing that the integrity of this relationship was central to every other aspect of your life.  How you felt about yourself , your relationships and your life was mirrored by your relationship to your Sacred body.  She is guiding you and signalling your emotions, needs, wants and beliefs, directing you like the lead of a marching band.  And, rather than fighting against, ignoring or denying the trumpets and drums, you can listen and follow them because you are being led by the Divine.

What if you trusted your body to lead you to your dreams- your soul path, simply by honoring your body’s innate wisdom and amazing abilities of bodily sensations, emotions and gut feelings?  You have no need to shut these wondrous messengers off because they are from your soul, transmuting messages to you by the form and emotional/physical functions of your body.  Your body is the computer of your soul.  You are being led towards what feels right for you, if it lights you up like a fire cracker, then it is for you.  The body will not guide you to what you think you should be doing or to be perceived as successful, that’s your mind.  The body will guide you to fire and passion, it is not worried about becoming a role or title, it wants soul expression and release into your world.

Can you open up a space to begin the process of uniting your mind and body in a sacred union, a true and loving kinship? Can you allow your body and mind to bond into a sacred marriage and away from sacred battle?

This means approaching your body as an equal, even as captain of the team. This is a much different way than treating your body like a “thing” to dominate and a “thing” to push past its limits.  It is letting go of mind- over- body mantra and instead following the body’s lead.  It is opposite of everything we have learned and it will take some unlearning, unwinding and at times collapsing of every construct you once operated upon.

I too lived with the debilitating mantra of mind over body.  I played competitive sports and we trained until we puked.  This led to a life addicted to superwoman powers. I learned to push myself to the limits and beyond and called that success. My body had no choice but to rebel as I continued to live a life of overdoing and over-extending. She said, “No more, that’s too much.  No, no NO!  You will not overdo, over-extend, over push, over carry, over burden us anymore!”

She has put Her foot down with the manifestation of an autoimmune disorder that I believe has evolved out of refusal to hear Her and slow down.  Now, I have no choice but to pay attention.  I’ve had to find another pace, another gear and slow down, way down, in order to do life.  If I don’t an autoimmune attack shows up and I typically end up in hospital.

Marion Woodman, a Jungian Analyst who specialized in the Lost Goddess and the Sacred Feminine said in a speech for Conscious Femininity,

“You know, you must wander in a culture where autoimmune break down is the most prevalent of diseases — lupus, AIDS, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome — these are all illnesses in which the body refuses to play host to the soul.”

Boo-yah! That kind of hits you in the gut don’t it?!

In mind-body therapy, we look for the metaphorical message in the illness. Underneath an illness is often unresolved emotional trauma, wounds or belief patterns that continue to perpetuate the dis-ease.  In the book The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal, autoimmune illness is associated with “…an inability to stand up for yourself…feeling weighed down by responsibility. Always putting others first.  Anger, resentment, blame and guilt…”

I regularly pushed past my limits, over committed, over did things, held everything on my shoulders and did not ask for help. I didn’t know how to draw a line in the sand.  In fact in didn’t know where I’d place the line because my head thought it should be way over here when my body was barely making it way back there.  I felt like a failure, weak and lacking for not being able to do more.  I didn’t recognize it as wisdom at the time.  My ego wanted more!  My body knew that the superwoman pace was a bullshit facade.  It was an empty crusty shell trying to get validation of being enough by doing too much.  I was addicted to the drug of over-doing.

I didn’t stand up for my body’s needs or my souls’ wants.  I put other’s needs ahead of my own, and I sacrificed me time, down time or rest time in the name of getting more things done or to squeeze in an extra workout so my perfection addicted mind would shut up.

Autoimmune illness is literally the manifestation of the mind attacking the body or for argument’s sake, the mind over body mantra in a physical form.  For me, it is the manifestation of my mind pushing my body past Her limits continually, never checking into see how things feel or where the body’s energy levels are at.  It’s not even knowing the body’s limits or refusing to believe the body is entitled to having limits.  It is keeping it up too late, feeding it too little, forcing it to exercise extraneously, stressing it with life, having a thousand and one commitments to tend to and pretending that everything is under control and I’m doing great.  It’s a high to be busy all the time, accomplishing, getting things done at lightning speed.  It’s a high until you crash and burn and the exhaustion, the tears, all the emotional messages and physical needs the body was saying comes crashing into you all at one time.

I was living with an “I am fine” illusion when I wanted to cry at every stop sign I sat at.  I wanted the false pride that came with the super-strong-independent-I-don’t-need-anyone woman disguise because I thought it meant I was succeeding, coping, keeping afloat.  I didn’t want to give up my shiny cape.

I rarely rested or fed my soul through creativity or stillness.  I only collapsed in exhaustion or used alcohol to disconnect from the exploding reality trying to burst out of my insides screaming of depletion.  I was empty and hollow and I didn’t want to own it.  I thought that it would mean I was failing.  Then one fine day my body did it for me. I collapsed at work and life was never the same because an autoimmune disorder was born out of my denial to accept the Truth.

So here’s what I learned in my break-down.  We must balance DOING with BEING!  Being is experiencing life with a pure intention of peace, joy, fun and play. Being is the gear that the body likes.  It is not checking off the “to-do” list or creating things for the purpose of getting accolades. It is refilling the energy tank, the love tank, the self-esteem tank, and the feel good-to-be alive tank just because we need to, not for the shiny cape and applause.

It is experienced through stillness…conscious stillness, reflection, journaling, even when you really don’t want to or would rather watch TV and zone out.  It’s doing restorative yoga rather than Vinyasa yoga.  It is creative expression or any kind, knitting, kite flying, even button collecting.  It’s furniture re-purposing, writing, painting or puzzle making.

It is a dumping out of the emotional tub filling up inside because you know the body is guiding you through the messengers of emotions.  They are the compass on your soul journey.

It is walking outside and feeling the wind caress your face or it is sticking your tongue out and tasting a snow flake.  It is life lived at a slower pace, in the moment, focused on the beauty and wonder around us.

It is connecting to the Universe, the Divine, to God & the Goddess, the Creator, the stars, the moon, the wind, the water, and fire just because  our soul calls for it. We need magic and wonder in our lives.  We need meaning, spiritual connection, and emotional release.  We need to do less more often. Did you hear me?

Do LESS more often!abundance 4

We need to have way more fun and play in life and accomplish less. Yeah, I said it, accomplish less and connect to each other a lot more.  At the end of your days you won’t be counting the things you accomplished, you’ll be remembering the special moments with your people.

When we are so busy, over doing, over extended, over exhausted, there is no room for the soul.  And when there’s no room for the soul, we don’t take presence in our own body.  We don’t step foot in our own two feet, we just float around in our minds going through our life tasks spiritually vacant.   Maybe we find ourselves wanting to cry out of nowhere and we aren’t sure why, this my friends is the soul’s tears.  They will leak out in the moments of stillness right before bed or when things just keep getting compounded and challenging that we can’t keep it together, we burst at the seams.  That moment is a gift, a call home to your Essence!

So take five minutes and write 5 things you are grateful for about your wise, soul speaking body. Thank your legs for carrying you from place to place and the ability to move. Thank your hands for doing such amazing work tending to the children or cooking meals.  Thank your gut for digesting food and helping you have life force energy to go about your day.  Thank your ears for the ability to hear a beautiful song or your child’s laugh.  Even thank your swirling stomach for the anxiety signalling to you that your soul is not content.

Let’s appreciate our life giving, soul holding bodies today and everyday!  Let’s take things a little slower, a little gentler, and a lot more focused on fun and less on outcome.

And so it is!

If you feel called, I’d be honored if you Followed The Blog 🙂   Also feel free to like the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page.  

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Celebrating the Sacred Feminine Ways of Motherhood.

momTo all the mothers, especially my mom.  Honoring your beautiful Sacred Feminine ways that all too often are left un-noticed and un-celebrated. This day’s for you!  I honor you and all your beautifully Feminine ways of nurturance, creativity, love, tenderness, intuitive knowing, and connection to magic.  You are Divine!

To all the Moms,

I want to acknowledge all the special ways you invoked the beauty of the Feminine Divine in our lives and made our house a home.  The touches of love and the sparks of joy were ignited by your hands.

You were the anchoring roots in the middle of our storms.  You calmed and soothed us with your presence and care.  You created memories of safety and security that we carried forward in our lives that helped shape all of our future relationships and friendships.

You loved every part of us in a way only a mother knows how.  You made moments special by showing up and giving the exact energy we needed to feel extra special and loved at any given moment. Our fun Friday night dinners, Saturday night fires, or Sunday morning pancakes were all cherished rituals of love.  

You seen us, you knew us at a level only a mother would and you filled our heart spaces with rainbows.  And so often it was not thanked or seen or known for how special it really was. 

You decorated our home each holiday season, bringing in the joy and magic with our decorated Christmas trees, lighting of the candles, the many holiday flowers, letting us paint snow in the already snowy window.  You’d let us taste test the yummy snowballs and short bread cookies each and every year .   You filled our senses with so many memories that each wiff of pine or of baking cookies  invokes a sacred memory and smile.

You made each holiday sparkle with your creative sprinkles.  You invited in the energy of the season, the magic in the air, the joy in our hearts and love in our home.  You made everything special and alive, you were conductor of the orchestra that ignited the life fires inside our bellies and lit the lights in our homes.

You ignited the magic into the mundane and breathed breath into our lives,  You called in the spirits of joy and celebration, sweetness and safety.  You are an alchemist, a magician of love, a gatherer of our people.

Maybe you didn’t even know it but you brought in the fairies and dusted our lives with an enchanted, pure, and innocent fun. Home was like a safe cocoon, a warm fuzzy blanket while you sipped hot cocoa at the fire, all because of your energy. You made our house a home with your sweet, nurturing, creative ways, your Divine Feminine presence.

You caressed and combed, cleaned and cooked with not a single complaint, even though all too often you didn’t get one darn thank-you.

So THANK-YOU mom for all the days you cleaned our clothes, washed our bedding, vacuumed the floors, scrubbed our toilets, ironed our fancy shirts, brought us to  practise, did the dishes alone, bought the groceries, took out the garbage, cooked us the most luscious meals and nobody noticed.  Today I take note, today I acknowledge for all the days I didn’t.  Thank you for nurturing the life spaces that made our life turn round.

Thank-you for the great big ball of love we got every day.  I didn’t know how to value what was so special and sacred then mom, but I do now!  I’m so sorry nobody noticed or took for granted what you did, cause what you did and still do is Divine.

You are far more what you did for us, you were the heart of our home, the epicenter of our family universe that kept the love and light circulating.  You bonded us by weaving love through us and all around.  You are a warrior, a sacred weaver of love webs.  You are a Divine Feminine Goddess who brewed up love and magic and our home was your cauldron.

To all the mothers, special aunties, grandma’s and sisters, you are the blooming flowers of the world, spreading colorful beauty, love and magical enchantment.  You are the “home”-makers or our houses, building us a safe, nurturing, cozy place to exist and grow.  You are the unicorns in the rainbows, the first snow flakes of the season.  You are the womb of all life, all love, all joy. You are the mermaids in the oceans, the full moon and shooting stars in the dark night sky.SACRED ART2

Take a bow, for you are a Goddess.

May you give yourself spoonfuls of your own Divine Love on this magical day.

I bow to you, I honor you.  You matter so much to this world.  You are the breath of all life.  You are the womb of creation.  You are the angel dust in the world, the unseen magical forces that circulates the pulse of the Divine.  You are so Sacred.

Cheers to you and your Divine Feminine, natural ways of Mother.  Happy Mother’s Day.

Muahhhh!!!

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Today’s Challenge – Stretch Your Happy!

happy“Happiness is not ready made.  It comes from your own actions.”  The Dalai Lama.

Don’t you wish happiness would just find itself in your life, like a magical spell from the butt end of a magic stick and boom…happiness and bliss.   Awe well, we know that’s not how she works!

You gotta make yourself happy, you have to approach life how She is and hug it out. Embrace it.  Love it.  Own it like you are trusting the Divine Plan for you and your soul.

I know, I know, you are not in the best job, maybe not in the best relationship or making the best amount of money.  I say, own it! Love it! Indulge and roll around in what is like it was the best, most perfect scenario for you at this moment.  Love it like it were a special letter sent from the Divine directly to you.  Would you receive it lovingly or demand more?

Now this doesn’t mean we can’t want more or be on a path towards our ultimate.  Yes, let’s do that…definitely!!  All I’m saying is don’t hate the stepping stone you are on at this time.  In fact, I’m saying love it with all your might.

Happiness is a choice, an action, a decision to see with ultimate trust in the Divine plan for you, or you can put on the ugly, fugly, grumpy glasses and choose another sight.  Are you a bowl of cherries or a well of negativity?

When I first go divorced I had to take some jobs that I didn’t love just so I could support myself and my new baby out on my own.  I could have been bitter, and truthfully there may have been days I was, but I chose to appreciate what those jobs offered me at the time knowing they would not be my forever jobs.  I didn’t always feel great doing them or at the end of the day felt depleted but instead of feeding into that negativity, that pitty party, I would did deep and journal (well at least on most days).  Sometimes I’d have to journal mid tears, in my car at lunch hour to remind myself that this is not permanent and there are gifts among the challenge.  My tear drops would hit the pages as I’d refocus my soul on the good in the less than great scenario.  I tell ya, those challenging experiences fed my confidence and trust in myself like nothing else could.  I am far more secure and confident in life and the universe as a whole as well as in my instincts than I ever was because of those less than ideal situations.

Amidst the painful and even dreadful days at times, I’d journal on what the jobs did provide me such as a solid income to pay my rent, bills, food, car, diapers, etc.  It provided me stability while I worked on building a new foundation with life out on my own, now with a child.  It gave me freedom to leave my unhealthy, hurtful marriage.

There is happiness everywhere if we can choose to clean the dirt off the gem we are holding in our hands.

Even now, I struggle in relationships, I’m an airy, fairy who loves her freedom.  I need it.  I hate being tied down, I’ve actually grown to be too independent, that I’ve at times closed my heart.  I’ve used independence as a shield, as a defense, as a protection for not needing anybody.  Relationships are my portals to soften my heart, ask for help, soften my protection and ultimately heal my wound in trusting men to be loving, consistent, caring, solid creatures that will love and protect.

So that means, my relationship isn’t perfect because it’s a container of my healing, it’s mirroring to me my sore spots and areas I need more work.  I shall repeat, it ain’t perfect. Haha!  I get in my airy, fairy mode and at times crave being on my own, not because I don’t love my new husband, but because it is my defense.  It’s my comfort zone, I like full blown wing expanding freedom to soar out in the world my way, on my terms and on my own clock.  It’s easier, more self indulgent, more me, me, me.  So when I get all crotchedy in my relationship I journal the gift of it.  What great things does it bring?  What am I learning and healing in this moment?  Maybe it’s how to properly express myself, or voice my needs or learning to be less selfish. Is it always easy…hell no! As I’m sure many of you can relate. It takes work, commitment, sacrifice, attention, presence, choice, action, responsibility.  All those things that are not always a walk in the park.

However, this marriage, this relationship, this man, has provided me with the most amount of love, of healing, of consistency or trust than I have ever had in my lifetime.  The gifts of this marriage far out weigh life on my own with my airy, fairy wings never fully committing to anything.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?  I’ll learning to balance my gypsy soul while being a wife and mother.  It’s redefining womanhood for me.  And you know what, it’s what sparks my soul!  It is my art…learning to live as a wild, tribal, vibrant soul in this modern day world.  It’s redefining traditional roles into new realms, new expansions, new expressions.  It`s discovering how to walk with Aliveness even in the mundane. It’s redefining Feminine and everything that goes with it.  It’s powerful and intense and blissful and dreadful and everything in between.  Now that’s happiness!

So happiness is perhaps a choice, an embracing of the gifts and lessons we are learning in this precious moment with people, circumstances, scenarios that can help our souls heal and expand out into the world.  It’s about squeezing the good, happy juices out of whatever circumstance that is less than perfect in our minds. The Divine offers us these moments and realities as gateways to the next stone.  When you learn the lessons and gifts and find the joy on the leap pad you are on, you get to move on forward, it’s simply universal law.

Journal Prompts of the Day for Your Wild, Luscious, Soulful Self: 

So stretch your happy muscles and find the good, no the great in the challenging circumstances. Where are you struggling and what are the gifts of the struggles or the imperfections in your work, love life, financial situation or boring old routine? Do share!! 🙂

Join us on the Women’s Tribe Facebook Page or Feed Your Feminine Soul Group Page. and share your entries, experiences, learning.

That is today’s Day 16 of the 30 Day Wild, Luscious, Soulful Living Challenge.  (Had some technical difficulties yesterday, sorry folks)

If you feel called to do so, add your email to get notifications on tools, rituals and sacred art tasks to feed your Divine Feminine soul 🙂

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Take a Shamanic Journey to the Moon Lodge on the 3 Days of the Full Moon

moon lodgeThis full moon is really different for me.  I am very reflective and inward, likely because we are shifting into the dark months, going inward and into the bear cave as winter approaches.  I usually move my energy out in a sacred art format but I am not on this full moon.  I am still moving my energy but in an inward way.

So join me, and take a ride inward and come to the collective Moon Lodge where all sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts and daughters celebrate the full moon.  Close your eyes and walk down a trial until you see the world’s largest tipi up the road.   Isn’t it beautiful!?  Walk into the opening and inside.   It is dark and lit with candles so you can see.  Notice there is a large magical bowl in the middle with magical moon beams swirling within it.  It looks like colorful magic dust dancing spinning around as it sparkles.  Find your spot on the mossy ground around the magical moon bowl and rest that beautiful self.  Take in some breaths and enjoy the smell of sweet grass, eucalyptus and sage in the air.  Let it calm and soothe you with each breath.  Notice your sacred garments of clothing that you wear on these special Women’s Tribe ceremonies and shoot yourself a smile for being so rad and Sacred!  Peak out the top of the tipi where there is opening and see the moon shining brightly in the dark night sky.  See the stars sing just as brightly next to the big, bright full moon.

If you’re like me and your menstruating with the full moon, allow yourself to bleed on the mossy grounds as we used to in our tribes and allow Mother Earth to regenerate all that you shed into energy for Her renewal, healing and vitality.  If you are not simply imagine any energy that needs to be released to surrender into the ground.   Watch other women in the tipi go to the magical bowl at the center of the moon lodge and emptying their emotional cargo bags.  Notice too how they are taking with them a sacred object after they empty their bags.  Join me and drag your bag across the floor.  Look down into the magical bowl and see how it it’s like a deep portal, a large vast emptiness into another world.

“The grandmothers will take care your cargo,” the women in the lodge say, “but you need to do your work with it too.”

So let us learn from what is in our emotional bags.   Empty your bag and see what falls out, notice how it just floats there above the bowl for you to see.  What is it trying to teach you or tell you?  What message does it have for you in your soul’s journey and evolution?  Take your journal out as describe what you see….  Write about it’s purpose and message for you…honor it and take time to tend to it.

Watch it vanish into the Earth Mother and into another dimension.  They have left for you an object to help you tend to the emotional cargo that has surfaced.   It too is floating in the bowl, waiting for you to grab.   Just allow yourself to see it and bring it to your heart.

Sit back down on the mossy ground and just be with your Sacred object that was given to you by the grandmothers.   Sit and enjoy the magic of being with other women who are honoring their Feminine Ways with Grandmother Moon as she shines full and bright, signalling to us to see our own internal landscapes.  Just really absorb the joy of gathering, even in spirit, with the women’s tribe. Lay some tobacco from your pouch and put it on the ground in gratitude to the Great Mother Earth and the Grandmothers…

Get up and walk clockwise around the magical bowl and outside of the tipi.  Take the trail back to the now and gently open your eyes and move your hands and feet.

Be sure to journal and share your experience.

And so it is…

Aho!

Happy Full Moon.

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Booyah! Your Body is Calling, Pick up the Phone!

BODY IMAGELoving your body is an inside job.  It is recognizing that She, your body, is your soul in form, an extension of the deepest part of you.  Loving your body is really about connecting to your Essence found WITHIN your body.  This can be a bit of a foreign concept for some of us who were taught that Spirit is outside of our bodies and the body is just a place of sin and weakness. I challenge this assumption.  Hogwash I say!  Your body is a Sacred Keeper and the physical form of the deepest part of you. This is called Embodied Spirituality, where connecting to your body is really connecting to the Divine.

Can you begin to have the intention of uniting your mind and body in a sacred union, a true and loving kinship? This means approaching your body as an equal, even as captain of the team.  This is a much different way than treating your body like a thing to dominate and a thing to push past it’s limits.  It is letting go of mind over body mantra and instead following the body’s lead.  It is opposite of everything we have learned and it will take some unlearning, believe me, I too lived that mantra.  I played competitive sports and we trained until we puked, pushed to the limits and beyond and called that success. My body has since rebelled as I continued to live a life of overdoing.  She has said no more, too much, no you won’t overdo, over-extend, over push, over carry, over burden me/us anymore.  She has put her foot down with the manifestation of an autoimmune disorder that I believe has evolved out of refusal to hear Her and slow down.  Now, I have no choice but to pay attention.  I’ve had to find another pace, another gear and slow way down in order to do life or I will have an autoimmune attack and end up in hospital.

Marion Woodman, a Jungian Analyst who specialized in the Lost Goddess said in a speech for Conscious Femininity, “You know, you must wander in a culture where autoimmune break down is the most prevalent of diseases — lupus, AIDS, cancer, chronic fatigue syndrome — these are all illnesses in which the body refuses to play host to the soul.” Booyah! That kinda hits you in the gut doesn’t it.

In mind-body therapy, we look for the metaphorical message in the illness.  Illness is often accompanied with unresolved emotion or belief patterns. In the book The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal, autoimmune illness is associated with “…an inability to stand up for yourself.  Weighed down by responsibility.  Always putting others first.  Anger, resentment, blame and guilt…” For me, I regularly pushed past my limits, over committed, over did things, held everything on my shoulders and did not ask for help.  I didn’t stand up for my own limits, I didn’t stand up for my body’s needs or my souls needs.  I put other’s needs ahead of my own, and I sacrificed me time, down time or rest time in the name of getting more things done or to squeeze in an extra workout.

Autoimmune illness is literally the manifestation of the mind attacking the body.  For me, it is the manifestation of my mind pushing my body past it’s limits continually, never checking into see how things feel or where the body’s energy levels are at.  It is keeping it up too late, feeding it too little, forcing it to exercise extraneously, stressing it with life, having a thousand and one commitments to tend to and pretending there is no emotion within about the way I’m doing life.  It was living with an “I am fine” illusion when I wanted to cry at every stop sign I sat at. In fact, I pretended I was superwoman and to say I was struggling would have ruined my facade.  I rarely rested or fed my soul through creativity or stillness.  I only collapsed in exhaustion or used alcohol to disconnect from the exploding reality trying to burst out of my insides that I couldn’t manage the pace of my life any longer.  Then one day, I collapsed at work and life was never the same because an autoimmune disorder was born.

We must balance DOING with the Sacred Task of BEING!  Being is experiencing life with a pure intention of peace, joy, fun and play. It is not checking off the to do list or creating things for the purpose of getting accolades. It is refilling the energy tank, the love tank, the self-esteem tank, and the feel good to be alive tank all in one. It is experienced through stillness…conscious stillness, reflection, journaling, even when you really don’t want to or would rather watch TV and zone out.  It is also creativity, creative expression, and a dumping out of the emotional tub inside. It is walking outside and feeling the wind caress your face or it is sticking your tongue out and tasting a snow flake.  It is life lived at a slower pace, in the moment, focused on the beauty and wonder around us. It is connecting to the Universe, the Divine, to God & the Goddess, the Creator, the stars, the moon, the wind, the water and fire, because we need and crave meaning, spiritual connection, and emotional release in our lives.  We need to do less more often.  Did you hear that…do LESS more often! We need to have way more fun and play in life and accomplish less.  (This statement might get some great comments lol)

When we are so busy, over doing, over extended, over exhausted, there is no room for the soul, we don’t take presence in our own body.  We don’t step foot in our own two feet, we just float around in our minds going through our life tasks spiritually vacant.   Maybe we find ourselves wanting to cry out of nowhere and we aren’t sure why…this my friends is the soul’s tears.  They will leak out in the moments of stillness right before bed or when things just keep getting compounded and challenging that we can’t keep it together, we burst at the seems.  That moment is a gift, a call home to your Essence!

sacred body2GRATITUDE JOURNAL FOR MY DIVINE BODY.

So take five minutes and for today, write 5 things you are grateful for about your body.  Thank your legs for carrying you from place to place and the ability to move.  Thank your hands for doing such amazing work tending to the children or cooking meals.  Thank your gut for digesting food and helping you have life force energy to go about your day.  Thank your ears for the ability to hear a beautiful song or your child’s laugh.

Let’s appreciate our life giving, soul holding bodies today and everyday!  Let’s take things a little slower, a little gentler, a little more focused on fun and less on outcome.

And so it is 🙂

Crystal

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