8 Sacred Feminine Teachings That Your Thirteen Year-Old Self Craves.


What if upon our transition into our teen years, we were supposed to learn really important teachings about our body, heart and soul?  What if these teachings could dramatically change the way you feel about your self…your body…your heart?

Sign me up – right?! The trouble is these teachings have been lost, buried, waiting to be reborn into our lives and into the world.  And so I hope to share some of the Sacred Feminine teachings I learned on my healing road, in hopes your soul remembers and your own self love grows.

In mind-body therapy, our behaviours and our struggles are really symbolic to our deeper issues and needs.  So…let’s take world’s obsession with our weight, body hatred even body altering and let’s explore that for a second.  Is it possible we are acting our our soul starvation on the physical level?  Is it possible we are expressing how truly disconnected we are from our bodies as a nation by trying to become physically perfect and thin?

This was true for me…I was acting out a deep feeling and longing without having the words.  I was showing how frail and weak I felt on the inside by becoming it on the outside.  So let’s meet the issue at the root : we are emotionally and spiritually starving and we don’t know what to do with that.

I know as an emotional, intuitive, creative, feminine soul, I craved these teachings at the threshold of adolescence and perhaps if I had them, I would have discovered how to love myself sooner.  I would have lived my life in union with my feminine, primal, wild, emotional soul instead of feeling like I had to separate from her.  Perhaps, I would have saved myself from the battle wounds of an eating disorder because for me, it was merely an expression of my dying, starving soul.  I didn’t know that then, I felt it, but I know it now.  The healing journey brought me home, back to these teachings and practices and in presence of my own body, heart and soul.

So here are 8 Sacred Feminine Teachings that your feminine soul might still be craving and that that teen girl in you deserves to know:

  • 1) You are a soul on a journey. You are a soul with a body and you’ve come here to learn, grow, expand and heal.   That is your purpose, to evolve, to love, to enjoy this moment, to find your passions, enjoy food, movement, and your sensual body.  It’s not to build up a pile of things or have the biggest this or that.  It’s about love…connection and growth.  Have fun, lighten up.  Take life a little less seriously.  Get creative, express yourself with words or art or pictures or music or by making something whether it is food, clothes, wood pieces, buttons, whatever…just feed your soul and create, create, create!
  • 2) Your connection to your body is your life line in this world.  She is the place of your soul, your emotions, your physical sensations and your gut instinct.  She is your compass and guide in this lifetime, never separate from her.  Honor your relationship to Her above all else as your connection to her will show up in every aspect and relationship in your life.  She communicates what you feel, want, need and desire, your job is to listen to her and honor her as best you can.  You will navigate yourself and your soul in the world only by knowing her and her emotions, sensations and symbolic images that she gives you to guide you on your life path.  She will tell you what feels right and what does not.  She will tell you if you like something or you don’t.  She will tell you if this direction is right or wrong for your soul.   Make friends with her, because she is the keeper of your destiny.  How you feel about yourself is a reflection of your relationship to Her.
  • 3) Feeding off of life lesson #2, learn your sacred body’s language so you can steer the ship of your life. Your body will guide you through emotions, through aches, pains, restlessness, irritations, anxiety, even depression.  She will also express to you through radiant joy and peace.  Explore your emotions and physical sensations as literal symbolic messengers.  If you’re neck hurts or your throat, ask yourself is there something you are not saying or need to say?  If you’re anxious or restless, your soul has something to tell you and is getting your attention to tune inward that something is off or she has a need.  Your emotions are sacred communications from your soul…listen to them, don’t ignore them.  Addictions are born when we don’t know how to be in our bodies and present to our precious emotions so we use something to distract away from what’s inside.
  • 4) Stillness is a must! We live in a fast paced world where everybody is concerned with doing more…quicker, better, stronger, faster.  I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I honor that accomplishments and goals are important but not in the name of betraying yourself and your body’s limits.  We must find balance between doing and being or there is really not any success.  If you must betray yourself and your body to succeed,  you have not really succeeded.  So get still…often…daily…reflect…journal…listen. ..feel.  Notice what comes up like it were a message from an angel.  Write about it, draw pictures, symbols, colors, doodles, whatever comes and express it.  Release it out of you for there is a message and reason for your feelings.  Honor them as sacred messengers from your soul.  And most importantly…just breathe…in and out..in and out.
  • 5) If you “feel fat” or start obsessing about your weight, that’s a sign that you’ve lost connection to your wild, feminine, tribal soul and that she is starving for your attention and for some nourishment. She desires connection to the Divine, the universe, the stars, the moon.   So plug back in and feed your luscious spirit through creativity, writing, lighting a candle and getting still or dancing like a silly goose.  Stare at the moon and remember our tribal, wild, primal ancestors who followed the moon cycle each month.  Life is about your soul’s journey, about magic and the mystery, not the size of your thighs.  So indulge in some fun rituals that re-ignite the magic and sacred in your life.  (Check out www.womenshealingandspirituality.com for some ritual ideas)
  • 6) Enjoy luscious food. Learn to cook!  It’s an art, an expression, its’ soul food and life force energy on a plate.  Think of all the farmers, grocers, animals, gardens, makers and bakers who conspired to bring this wonderful meal together.  Your hands can unite all that human love and energy into a meal on a plate, what alchemy!   Use whole foods when you can and indulge in luscious chocolates and homemade dessert creations alongside your wholesome, homemade, nourishing supper.  Feed your taste buds, it’s part of feeling alive, part of the human experience.  Watch Rachel Ray connect with her food, that is how we are meant to relate to our food like it were a being.  Get passionate about food.   Make those meals colorful and nourish yourself mind, body and soul!
  • 7) Move your body. Here’s a secret…I hate gyms.  They are soul sucking spaces that to me feed the ego with all those mirrors.  So go old school and get outside to move.  Pile some wood, cut the lawn with a push mower, take a run outside, walk down the road, pull weeds, play tag outside.  Go to the park, ride your bike to school or work.  Exercise should be about moving the energy and lymphatic fluid in your body…period.  It should be fun and playful, not dreadful.  I used to hate working out, I’d literally be swearing as ran, angry as ole’ pie.  I was doing it for the wrong reasons, for calorie burning and weight loss.  It felt like a chore, now it feels like a gift.  I think of all the stagnant energy that wants to dance alive in my body.  Today I move with no time goals or distances to reach or calories to burn, I just move to move.  Make it about energy and play, not calories.  Turn up the tunes and dance!  Return to our primal, natural roots and move authentically, and naturally, not on a machine indoors.
  • 8) Last but not least. Honor your menstrual cycle as something ancient, sacred and holy.  The human nation has carried on for thousands and thousands of years because of our menstrual cycles.  It connects us as women. Historically women used to gather and bleed together during their moon time.  They’d bleed right onto the Earth and sit together in circle gathering emotional and spiritual wisdom found in their silence.  With this guidance they’d lead and guide their tribes towards the animals for food or towards protection from surrounding tribes and clans.   So, remember that your cycle generally follows the 28 moon cycle give or take a few days and that as women we have followed the moon’s cycle for thousands of years.  It is common for us to ovulate or menstruate on the new moon or full moon.  When menstruating, your body is naturally cleansing itself, releasing out old energy, emotions and physical debris from last month and moon cycle.  So honor this amazing process and turn the energy dial down during this time. Make sure to get still and sit with yourself, your body and Grandmother Moon as you are most intuitive and emotional during this time…meaning your body and soul has much to say and guide you with.  Create a moon time ritual with your friends or mom.  Do something special like a meditative foot soak or where a special moon time robe and journal in your decorated moon time diary.  Bake some luscious cookies and drink fine tea with your mom and sister and have a mini sharing circle.  Honor your ancient, tribal roots by celebrating your sacred body and soul during this special time each month.  It need not be elaborate but do something special.

Simply by regularly connecting to our bodies and her inner realm and making this a conscious practice, we naturally nourish our souls.  And when our souls are nourished, we feel confident, fulfilled, full of life, joy and energy.   We don’t need to try and express our pain or fill up our soul starvation through body bashing or dieting, because we are already nourished from the inside out.  Your cravings for bingeing or alcohol or shopping will automatically disappear with this practice if you struggle with disordered eating symptoms or weight pre-occupation yourself. So I ask you to remember that your body is a Sacred Messenger of the your Divine Self.  Please, please, please treat her with the reverence She deserves.

I honor you and your Sacred body…the Sacred Home of your unique soul!

Aho! And so it is.

I’d be so Honored if You FOLLOWED MY BLOG Check out https://womenshealingandspirituality.com/about/ for soul nourishing practices or for individual sessions on how to Nourish Your Soul.

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XO Crystal



photo (4)Might as well face it, I’m addicted to… putting myself last.  Ugh!  It’s true. I have an automatic response pattern that causes  me to feel like I have to make sure everyone is taken care of  before I can take care of myself.  As much as I hate to admit it, I feel guilt when I tend to my own needs and wants.  It doesn’t mean it stops me from doing what I want and need, it just means I’m aware of the saddle bag of guilt that I lug around when I go and do what I want to do.  And I’m tired of it.

Things came to a head for me this past weekend.  For my birthday my husband bought me some luxurious Manitobah Mukluks.  You know the kind Prince William and Princess Kate were given for their son Prince George.  I loved them instantly.  They had the essence of me written all over them.  And then…I said, “I think we should return them.”  As soon as the words popped out of my mouth I regretted it.  Why would I say that?!

Well, I started thinking that I should (that damn word) return them and spend more money on others for Christmas.  It felt more natural to spoil others instead of myself.  I know, I know…yuck!  But I am just playing witness to this automatic response to take less for myself and leave more for others.  And as I observed it and poked it, I started wondering where this response pattern originated.  I wondered too if men have the same automatic response.  When you boil it right down, I wondered if it was because I’m culturally programmed to be more comfortable giving than to receive as a woman.   And yet biologically and traditionally it is women who are meant to receive and men who are meant to give.   Isn’t that a pickle!

I’ve watched my husband receive some pretty spectacular presents and his response…gratitude.  Not guilt, not an internal struggle to accept the gift of love but a simple acceptance and joy in receiving a beautiful gift.  So, what’s the difference here?  Is it a gender issue?  Is it a mother thing?  An image plays itself over and over in my mind of an exhausted, self-sacrificing woman who’s given everything to her family.  She cooks, she cleans, she nurtures and she tends to their every need.  She takes little to no time for herself or for her own pleasure.   She’s usually too exhausted.

If she’s cooking breakfast and one of the egg’s flops, she takes the dud and serves her family the “good ones”.  My question is why?  Why is motherhood or womanhood equated with chronic selflessness?  And better yet, why the heck is this celebrated?  Shouldn’t we have boundaries and limits for ourselves?  Shouldn’t we be on equal playing ground as our own family members?  Aren’t we worthy enough for a good egg?

I struggle in the fact that we celebrate and appreciate a woman who has given down to the bone and left little or nothing for herself.  Sometimes when I read obituaries and they tote about a woman’s selflessness, I feel a sharp pang in my gut.  I don’t consider that a good thing.  I don’t want to celebrate a way of being that I believe is self-harming and perpetuating a behaviour that basically speaks that she deserves less.

I think we must be both selfless and selfish as women.  But selfish is a tough word to swallow. There’s some negativity associated with that word.  And I don’t agree that having boundaries, limits, needs, wants and a voice is selfish.  It is simply a human right.  When I was exploring synonyms for the word selfish, I found the term self-interested.  Say it with me…self-interested.  Don’t you love it?

So, I’m proposing that in order for the guilt bag to empty itself out, we must adopt a new mantra as women.  We must be both selfless and self-interested.  And we must regularly be self-interested as though it were a life line to our sense of worth and self-esteem.  The reality is that when we tend to our own interests and desires, we feel more fulfilled and more confident and when we feel more confident we feel more able to use our voices and ask for what we need.  We are more able to set limits for what we can’t tend to when we feel fulfilled so we do not need to get a dash of “value” in the role of supreme giver.

And guess what, you can teach your daughter to love herself simply by setting your own limits, and being the receiver of your own energy.  In taking that time for you or taking the good egg or accepting a pair of beautiful mukluks, you are saying to the world I believe I am worthy of love and greatness equally to everyone else.  We teach them how to love themselves by loving ourselves.  We have an inherent right to be self-interested.  It is a necessity not only for ourselves but for the self-esteem of our young sisters, daughters and nieces.  We are their role models.

Being self-interested is a sacred spiral of fire, it ignites healing that starts within us and floats out into our family circle and then out into our communities and eventually the entire globe.  As the inner fires spread we build a repertoire for our young women who will also assert their needs, wants and voices into the world and they will have learned it simply by osmosis.  Imagine a world where women feel just as worthy to receive as any other being on the planet…a world where women feel confident enough to stand up for themselves and use their glorious voices no matter what the circumstance.  It’s starting…and the world is beginning to change and operate in a new manner because of it.  Changes, they are happenin’ and the bar is being raised.  We are not only waking up, we are standing up.   Can you feel it?

Imagine that, you are helping to change the world simply by being self-interested.   So, allow yourself to receive…receive help, receive love, receive gifts, receive time off and take it all in unapologetically.  Allow your own best interests to come to the forefront at least half the time.  Allow yourself to remember that as you receive, self-indulge and become more self-interested you are helping change the planet.  You are helping women restore balance simply by receiving energy, it is your birth right.  It is your biology.  And the more you receive, the more you’ll give so it’s a win- win and we all like win-win.

We are awakening as a women’s tribe and returning home into our feminine, fiery and receptive roots.    So go on, I dare ya’!  Indulge yourself with what you want.  Put on your “mukluks” and indulge proudly as a woman who is equally selfless and self-interested, giver and receiver.   You deserve it.  I deserve it.  The world needs it.  We are creating a new phenomenon for women.  My new mukluks are like a statement to the world saying that I am worthy of a wonderful, beautiful life.  So own it, be self-interested and change this planet.


You go girl!

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