Uncategorized

Relationships, relationships, relationships… Thanks Jupiter! :)

relationshipsWe just passed the September 9, 2016 junction, that’s 999 in numerology.  9 is about completion, endings and healing.  And this past week Jupiter entered Libra for the year and Libra is all about relationships, justice… and balance 🙂

Since the New Moon, I’ve been confronted with the issue of boundaries and the dissolution of old relationships that are rearing their heads and pressing upon mine and my family’s boundaries.  I get rattled, angered, irritated at this cross of the line.  I seen a quote this morning that offers great wisdom in dealing with those boundary line crossers by the lovely Brene Brown..”Don’t shrink, don’t puff up, just stand your sacred ground.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to handle someone who has caused great hurt.  Do we welcome them back in with forgiving arms…in the sense forgive and forget?  Or do we forgive and move on? When trust is broken and wounds have been seared into our relational skin, we need time, we need healing to mend from the wounds we have experienced in our relationships.  But when do we draw the line in the sand and say, “I’m done with this.”?

When somebody injures you (emotionally, mentally, spiritually), what is your response?  Do you express your pain?  Is it heard?  Is it honored?  Do you forgive easily?  Does the other person own their shit and apologize? Do you ? Does it happen again and again like a vicious cycle?

For me there is a piece of enabling that can occur when we forgive too easily.  We need to allow others to know the pain they’ve caused and take ownership of it. We need action, not words to know they are truly sorry and working on changing old patterns or we run the risk of being caught in the enabler cycle. “Enabling can describe dysfunctional behavior approaches that are intended to help resolve a specific problem but in fact may perpetuate or exacerbate the problem.  A common theme of enabling is that third parties take responsibility or blame, or make accommodations for a person’s harmful conduct. The practical effect is that the person himself or herself does not have to do so, and is shielded from awareness of the harm it may do, and the need or pressure to change…” (Adapted from Wikipedia dictionary)

This can lead to co-dependence without caution. When trust is broken, we need to know that the other party takes ownership, responsibility and accountability for their actions (as do we).  But what if they don’t?  What if you are left to linger by their silence and removal from your life? What if they try and come back after these actions?

What happens when the arrows of betrayal, abandonment, humiliation or rejection (the four major wounds) pierce our hearts by those we thought were closest or felt should be the closest?  How does one heal?

It’s not an easy journey and I think it’s an individual process.  For some relationships when there is the healing balm of ownership, accountability and apology we can forgive and forget and grow.  For other relationships we may forgive but not forget and leave the relationship dissolved and that is okay. We do not need to force relationships if there is no foundation to them.  If there is no trust, no respect, no humility in our interactions, it is okay to lay them down to rest or allow them to be distant and respectful, even kind from afar.

So as we cross the bridge and ending cycles of the 9-9-9 numerological calendar, honor yourselves as you explore healing old relational wounds. Look at your contributions to them as well, our own short comings and healing spaces.  Did we allow ourselves to be treated in a certain manor by not having boundaries or a voice?  Perhaps circumstances were created to help move you out of a dead-end relationship or friendship. Things blow up, things change, it happens.  Can you allow this?  Perhaps there is friction in a relationship to help you and the other person to evolve, to heal, to grow…perhaps, it’s a lesson in letting go or expanding.

EXPLORING OUR RELATIONSHIPS EXERCISE.

So here is a little exercise to help you explore those relationship issues (friendships and familial relationships included) with a deeper lens.

Close your eyes and take some deep breaths.  Settle into your body and feel the wave of relaxation float through you like a cloud.  Think of a relationship you have been struggling with and allow an image to come to mind that symbolizes that relationship.  Just go with what comes, even use your imagination.  For me one image is an empty and leaking fish tank.  The other is an armored suit with a sword for another relationship.

Now that you have your image, let’s talk to it…yup that’s what I said, let’s talk to the image like it were a living being 🙂  Get some pen and paper and dive inward.  Journal and respond to these questions, just go with what comes first.

  1.  How do you (the image) represent my relationship?
  2.  What am I needing in this relationship?
  3.  Why or how did the relationship get to this point?
  4. What guidance do you have about this relationship ?
  5.  If this relationship transformed or healed, what image comes to mind to represent this?  How does this image translate into real life?  How does the image symbolize what you need from this other person or yourself in the relationship?

 

Happy healing, it’s all good friends.

And so it is.

xo

Crystal

As always, do feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG or Women’s Tribe Facebook page.  

 

image by sheswanderful.com

ceremony, new moon, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

June New Moon Ritual. Cleansing & a Turtle.

junenewmoon2.jpgHappy New Moon Friends!

Well this is an interesting New Moon,usually new moons are about setting new intentions, staring new beginnings…but this one feels like we must clear out the old energies first.  This New Moon feels like a festive time to clean the air.

I pulled a Native Spirit card for this one and got the Smudging ceremony.  It reads..

Let go of the past.  Purify.  Detox.  Release whatever doesn’t serve you or support you in your life.  Cleanse your body and your environment by doing space clearing and clutter clearing.  Let go of the old, discarded, and unused to make way for new energy and new beginnings.  Eat lightly, drink lots of fresh water, and consume food with strong life force energy.

I feel prickly on this New Moon, that person in my life who I must continue to deal with continues to be a thorn at my side. I don’t want to be thrown off kilter or even annoyed at his continual games or boundary attacks.  Lately I’ve just avoided conversation and confrontation with him because it’s pointless he doesn’t hear me, he doesn’t respect my point of view of concerns. It feels like a waste of time.  But what my guides have shown me that it is not, it is not a waste of time for myself.  I must use my voice for me, regardless of his response.  I must use communication not silence to hold my line.  I must be clear and put the line in the sand for myself, energetically, emotionally, and out of my own self-love and respect.

And wouldn’t you know it today of all days, on this glorious New Moon cycle our turtle showed up to lay her eggs. She shows up yearly.  The turtle is the “personification of goddess energy and the eternal Mother from which our lives evolve.” (Jamie Sams, pg 77 Medicine Cards).

“Like Turtle, you also have shields that protect you from hurt, envy, jealousy, and the unconsciousness of others…If you are bothered by the actions or words of others, it is time to go inside yourself and honor your feelings.  If you are attacked, it is time to give a warning snap.” (Pg. 77 Medicine Cards).

New Moon Ritual:  (Picture of my dog and actual turtle in our yard).turtle

Just imagine a protective tortoise shell around you when around those prickly people who bug or irritate your energy field.  Doesn’t that feel nice?  Check in with yourself, and explore your feelings. Sit with your own inner guidance on how to manage this energy.  Imagine that the turtle, the Great Goddess energy, is sitting beside you.  Become the turtle, feel the energy, feel the shield of Her shell, feel the power of her snap, feel her connection to the Earth Mother.  And then return to yourself.  Talk to the turtle, imagine in she were a loving and wise being, sent to give you a message for this New Moon, about clearing up old energy, old patterns, old ways, so you can create new ones.  What does she say or what image or object does she give you to offer her message?

To me she says…You can be calm and cool, grounded and collected.  But don’t put up with no shit.  Don’t fall into silence.  Speak your truth and snap back when you need. You are the gatekeeper of your energy field, protect it.  Honor it.  It is your health.”

What I notice about the turtle too is that she is not aggressive in her stance, she is the epitome of calm, patient, even kind.  Yet she is firm and strong and protective when she needs, when her boundary, her lines of safety or respect have been crossed, she will come out and snap at whatever is threatening her.  She is not vicious but wise and ancient.

On this new Moon, I invite you to open the windows, let the New Moon winds cleanse your home, light incense or smudge. Vacuum, dust, wash the floors, get rid of that old energy.  Take out the garbage and the donation pile to the donation centre. Cleanse and purify the old as homage to the New lurking around waiting for the space to enter.  Tie up old ways.

As always, feel free to FOLLOW THE BLOG, I’d be honored and humbled.

And so it is.

Happy energy cleansing and if need be snapping on this New Moon.

xo

Crystal

Photo 1 – spiritscience.net

Photo 2- my picture of my dog and actual turtle

 

astrology, ceremony, Full Moon, healing, meditation, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

A Healing Full Moon/Eclipse Ritual & Your Inner Queen

full moon march

Happy FULL Moon and Lunar Eclipse. The energies are brewing, the cauldron is stirring, the chaos,emotions, turmoil, struggles, and calls to grow and expand are bubbling.  Our unhealed shadowy selves are called to the surface so we can free them from the cages, free them from the rapture of old wounded ways and alas heal the cuts of the past.

Just the other day while walking my dogs, I heard this strange loud chirping in the trees. I’d never heard such a strange and loud gawk from birds before and wondered what the heck was calling in such in an unusual howl.  Then I seen my dogs jumping onto the bottom of a tree while an innocent ole’ ground hound gripped on for life to a branch near the top shrieking those unusual howls.

The Ground hog tells us…(from http://www.spirit-animals.com/groundhog/)

“You are being asked to explore altered states of consciousness deeper. The answers are within you – however you just have not dug deep enough to find the root of it. Groundhog can also be letting you know that you need to pay attention to your metabolism. Be aware of how your diet influences your natural bodies cycles and to make dietary adjustments to balance the workings of your body.

Alternatively Groundhog can be giving you fair warning that you have overstepped someone boundaries or someone is overstepping yours. Best is to resolve the situation with respect and from the heart.”

This full moon is in Libra, the sign about relationships.  Throw in a lunar eclipse and the intensity quadruples.  Lunar eclipses bring endings, shifts, and sudden change.

This fits well with Ground Hog’s message about boundaries, especially concerning relationships.  For me, I have someone in my life that I must deal with who constantly pushes and tries and over step my boundaries.  But I must look at the root, at my own causal piece in this.  I get thrown off, annoyed, frustrated, even irritated.  My mind sometimes loops into his trail of chaos and un-groundedness and  I literally start spinning with him until I remember to ground, stay firm, follow the agreements.

He rages, gets annoyed, calls me down, makes me the problem. But that’s okay.  My job is to figure out my stance.  As I enter the dream world to get some guidance and Higher vision on this circumstance, I see a large yard with a short white picket fence.  This is symbolic to my boundaries…nice, small, easy to step over.  So I ask my guides, how can I prevent him from stepping over my fence.

“Build a taller, stronger fence!” they say.

Of course! Keep things firm.  Don’t compromise, don’t adjust.  Focus on my peace, my emotional well-being, not his responses.  Easier said then done.  My inner cauldron of wounds, bubble over with feelings of fear and uncertainly.  I’m uncomfortable asserting my line knowing I will be met with resistance, with push back.  I get ready, get defensive, get myself preparing for the next set of attacks.  I want this response, this pattern to end.  It’s bullshit.  So I look inward to explore where the wound is so I can make the change.

I have this lingering patterned response, a neuro-conscious response (in mind-body therapy terms) where fear pumps into my chest when I must assert myself or express that my boundary has been crossed.  I feel childlike, timid, afraid of asserting my voice, my stance.  It stems from my childhood.  I’m afraid of getting into trouble.  But this belief, is old, tiresome, out dated.

So I follow the trail to the root.  Why am I afraid to assert myself? I know it stems from my dad, as much as I love him, when I was younger he yelled a lot when I’d try and find my voice.  It made me shrink in the face of conflict, authority, or anger.  I get afraid.  But what am I afraid of?  Being rejected? Being reprimanded?  Being wrong?

I get all twisted up in another’s point of view instead of remaining grounded in my own.  I start to question my accuracy, if I’m being selfish or the purity of my intent.  I doubt myself, and my knees start to wobble, I begin to feel weak and less confident in myself and my ability to assert my boundary begins to crumble.  I give in, stay silent and cower in the face of conflict only to beat myself up for stumbling.

There’a a connection to my voice, like somehow I won’t be believed or heard or honored. inner queenThere’s an old belief that my voice won’t be listened to so I go to the extreme defense protecting myself, trying to get validated, understood, and heard from the other person. This feels like to the root of my over-active immune system (auto-immune), always on the defense, hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant for attack and I must protect myself.  But there’s a difference between being overly cautions “on the defense” with being firm, assertive, and a Queen.  Rather than protecting my fence with a metal-suited soldier, I can call upon my inner Queen to simply stand there and energetically hold her presence.  There’s no defense, there’s confidence, certainty, trust in Herself, her power, her decision.  TRUST IN HERSELF! It’s just an energy of upholding the line, not defending it.

My inner Queen says to my inner child, “Who cares!  Who cares if he rejects you, you’ve already rejected him.  He can’t reprimand you and no, your feelings are not wrong.  Do not be afraid to expect your boundaries to be respected!  That is your right.”  

Expect to be respected. There is such power in that.  That is where my wound lies.  I have expected to be disrespected and prepare for this instead of standing firm in my right to be respected.  I will expect to be respected.  That just completely changes the energy of everything, don’t you think?! 🙂

“How can I feel as strong and confident as you?” my scared, child part asks my Queen.

“Put on your crown and cape little girl and believe in your own authority.”

I imagine my little girl with the crown and cape the Queen has gifted her and she feels naturally more confident and sure of herself.  She knows, she remembers, she owns that she is indeed a Queen. A Queen with power, assertion, and authority.  She commands the stage with her presence.

And so it is.

FULL MOON/ LUNAR ECLIPSE HEALING RITUAL:

Grab your journal, light a candle, put on some music and spark up an incense.  Drift inward, imagine seeing your inner child.  It’s time to dive inward to where we need balance and restoration.  It’s time to end old, wounded ways of being.

 

It’s time to dream, go inward and write and reflect with your magical inner world.  Get out your journals, turn on the switch to your imagination and travel into the healing gates of wonder…

1)Explore your inner parts, particularly your inner child, the wounded child.  What patterns, beliefs, wounds keep you stuck in old wounded patterns in your relationship? What does your inner child look like?  What are they wearing, what is their stance, what is their energy and presence?  What words or feelings come to mind with this part of you?

3) Think of a relationship with a certain person or people that you have been struggling with. Imagine the relationship dynamic or your presence in the relationships in the form of a landscape that reflects your boundaries and interactions within it.  What do you see and notice? What is there? What colors and images? What does this say about your patterns or wounded beliefs?

4)  Imagine seeing your inner Queen walking from her castle to this landscape. How does she move, feel and change the feeling with her presence?  What does she look like?

5) Ask her how you can heal this old pattern in your relationship or relationships and see if she will give you something, an object or objects to help you in shifting this old way of relating.

Share your experiences 🙂

And so it is!!!

 

This moon’s mantra.  “I assert my boundaries with ease by owning and stepping into my Inner Queen.”

 

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Uncategorized

Full Moon Power Hour Ritual.

Happy Full Moon my friends!!

About a week ago I posted a little pre-full moon blurb boundaries and the medicine teachings of Armadillo. (Found here Armadillo Teaching.)power

This theme continues for me/us at this full-moon.  I encouraged you to do a medicine shield exercise where you list all that you want to experience, feel, do and enjoy in your life as though it were an energetic boundary to the universe.  Tonight we bring this deeper.

It’s funny how when you claim and affirm your boundaries, the universe tests you.  My boundaries were tested, in fact, pushed down, and stepped on.  However, I must look at my part in it and I see where I wavered.  I have kept firm boundaries with this person and kept them at a fair distance to uphold the boundaries I felt necessary.  But overtime, this person was being “nicer” and slowly, little by little, I softened my boundary.  This pattern happens every time with this particular individual.  I give a little and I get burned all the time.  No more!!!  I am done, the firm, distant boundary must be maintained no matter how “nice” or “calm” things seem to get.  I have to remember this, hold my power, maintain my boundary.  I need the hard shell of that armadillo always with this person and I must accept this for my own sanity.

So this brings me to tonight’s powerful Moon Teaching.  Grandmother moon asks us to look at our own sense of power.  Personal power (not dominant power). This is greatly connected to boundaries and how and when we give away our power thus resulting in lack of or softened boundaries. This was a tough lesson to learn once again for me.

I get in the habit of being “too nice”.  I give people way to many chances and lee-way and I suffer for it.  I end up frustrated, bitter and resentful.  I doubt my own truth or think, “maybe they’ve changed, maybe this can be better, maybe I’m being to hard…maybe, maybe maybe…and I get lazy or soft in manifesting my own sense of power.  I open the door and let them stab me with their sword.  Dang it!

So Grandmother Moon is asking to me re-visit my sense and experience of power.

Lynn Andrews (one of my teachers), says this about power…

“What do I mean by “power?” When my teachers and I speak of power, we are not talking about power over someone else. We are speaking of the integrity of spirit, the integrity of life force which is built through practice, definition and training. Power means that you have the ability and the competence to live your true destiny. It implies that you are living your truth, not someone else’s, seeing the world through your own eyes and not through anyone else’s idea of who you should be.”

Full Moon Ritual – Full Moon Power Hour 🙂

You know the drill, light up those candles, ignite the incense, put on some tunes, gather your friends or just pour yourself a cup of tea and create some Sacred Time and Space.  Tonight we invite in Power to embody us, teach us, sit with us.  We look at it in the mirror and get to know how we harness and use it and when we sabotage our connection with our own power.

Journal Questions/Questions for Discussion with Your Pals. (Some Questions by Sacred Circles, pg 146)

1) Do you think of yourself as powerful?

2) How would you describe your sense of power?

3) When do you feel your most powerful?  What are you doing when you feel this way?

4)  How do you sabotage your own sense of power?

5)  With who do you feel most powerful?

6) How successful have you been at translating your visions into reality?

7) Do you think you are more powerful in the domain of “being” or “doing”?  How are they interconnected in your life?

Share your stories and responses in comments, online, with friends or simply with Grandmother Moon.  May she glow and awaken, ignite and shine the light on your power.

If you’d like make a collage with images of power, words, colors, anything that feels powerful, strong and firm to your inner sense of self.

And so it is!!!

xo

Crystal

As always, if you feel called do Follow The Blog, I’d be humbled.

 

Photo from windsofchange.wordpress.com