How Illness Can be an Opportunity for Soul Work.


Hi Friends

I want to share a powerful healing journey with you I’ve been going through.  I recognize we won’t have exact experiences but I hope somehow it resonates for you in your own life, with your own particulars.

I have been struggling with my chronic illness lately, having to do a lot of blood infusions  and dealing with a lot of inflammation, particularly in my large intestine this time around.  I am a believer and student of mind/body medicine and ways of the Sacred Feminine, meaning I know my body has something to tell me.  Illness and inflammation are always messengers from my deepest Self and health challenges are an opportunity for healing if we choose to explore it as such.

So after five days of struggle, I finally sit down and listen.  After some podcasts and reflections these questions have emerged.

  1.    How am I showing up for myself in my life?
  2.    What are ways I can show up for myself in my life more often and what does                 that look like?
  3.    How do I need to show up for myself and my soul more regularly?


Here we go…

I have not been showing up for myself in my life at all lately.  I hear my grumbling, tired soul and body and instead of tending to it, I’ve been zoning out, watching tv, going to sleep, keep busy busy busy.  My mind has been swirling with ideas, and new goals but I’m spinning in stuckness not putting pen to paper, just living in the land of busy mom and not showing up for myself.  That is step one, recognizing the problem.

I can show up for myself more often perhaps in little segments or tidbits.  I need to schedule it in during kid naps and block off at least one evening a week to do some deep soul pouring and get my course written/created.  In the meantime I can light candles, listen to podcasts as I clean or hang with baby, and keep moving my body in loving ways.

How do I need to  show up for my soul more often?  I think and feel I really need to commit to taking 10-20 minutes each evening, writing, journaling, reflecting, pondering, whatever that may be and check-on.  I just need to create me soul space in my life.  Writing is part of that for me and helps me move out my stuck thoughts.  And I need to commit like my health depended on it, cause my body is telling me it is!


In mind-body medicine and energy healing irritations with the LARGE INTESTINE have to do with, “crying spells, confusion, irritation, frustration, stagnation, and anger.  Thinking that you can’t do any thing right.  Wanting to run away and hide form the world.  Feeling that you are too different and that no one understand you.  Difficulty seeing other people’s point of view. Dogmatically defending your position in arguments. Extremely sensitive, thin-skinned.”  (The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal pg.64)

I resonate with all of this.  I’ve been spinning, stuck, overwhelmed, lost, scattered and thus frustrated.  I have had crying meltdowns in my overwhelm, feeling like I keep trying to swim to shore but can’t find the shore.  I realize now I just needed to stop swimming, take a look and make a plan.  Take one step at a time and cut some things out that I’m not quite ready for.  Visualize where I’m going and focus on each pearl on the thread one by one.  I’ve been trying to hold three or four chains of pearls and I’m spinning in stickiness not knowing which one to focus on.


So on this lovely October day, I invite you go through the questions listed above and just free flow your pen to page.  Set a timer for 5 minutes and don’t lift that pen up til the timer goes off.  Invite yourself back into your life.  Please share your findings in comments.


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With warmth






A Movement Meditation to Break Out of Stuckness.

breaking freeMy friends,

I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in the last two days.  I’ve been down and out in illness.  But let’s get real, I’ve been down and out in stuckness, inertia and self-sabotage and it manifested itself as a re-occurring infection.  I literally had no voice yesterday.

So here I am playing witness to my addiction to sabotage through inertia, stuckness and avoidance of going into the depths of discomfort.  I have avoided being witness and experiencing the nitty gritty yuckiness.  It’s fucking heavy so I ran…

I’m stuck on something, at a cross-roads and in my indecisiveness, my doubt, my non knowing, I ran from the spot and into distraction and avoided standing in the grapples of stuckness and uncertainty.  So part of living truly, wildly, freely and even lusciously is to honor the tough spots, the dark spots, the wounded spots that still show up.  They show up to burn away, to release so you may and I may be more and more light.

So today I spend my day in the muck, in the twisted ropes of stuckness and learn to move the energy and twist out of it.  I do it by listening to it, holding it, honoring it’s message.  I draw what the energy feels like in my body, dark , squiggly, lightning bolts in my lungs.  Heavy with frustration, anger, even grief that I have not tended to this place of stuckness.  It’s a big one.  What about you?

Break Out of Stuckness Movement Meditation:

I also invite you to a movement meditation.  This is a meditation where we are opening the heart chakra, well all the chakras really, but really in the heart area.  Listen to the song Bulletproof/Titanium below and just close your eyes.  Use arms to push away the stuck energy, even untwist the knots, remove the stuckness, uncloak the inertia and just expand and open your energy.  Push your aura out from every angle,  Take almost impossible steps forward with your heavy, dense legs and break free. Slowly let go of the heavy, metal armour of self-doubt and uncertainty and see how your fluidity returns as you expand and move your energy.   Stomp your feet on the ground with the beat, awakening your root chakra, and your ability to step foot in where you are and move.  Let you body move you, guide you out release you out of the guck. Enjoy this, like an inner spiritual massage by moving your body.  Let your body’s wisdom of inner knowing and intuition move you out of stuckness.  Witness what thoughts and new awareness emerges. Shake, move, expand and release.


Please do share you experiences.

May we find fluidity, movement and confident steps forward.  May we take action.

And so it is.

Blessings, light and warmth.

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Picture Source :http://crazygirl44.deviantart.com/art/Breaking-Free-440861568