ceremony, creativity, Full Moon, healing, meditation, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

A Powerful Full Moon Healing Ritual for the end of the Decade.

adult blur close up cold
Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Pexels.com

Happy last Full Moon of the decade!  It really feels like the last full moon of the decade, doesn’t it?!  Like a real completion, ending and new beginning, a new era is about to emerge.

This full moon feels like a wrap up of the last ten years.  It’s time to dot the “I’s” and cross the “T’s”.  If you were like me you may have felt the urge to clean, cleanse and organize.

In a couple weeks, my oldest son will be turning 10.  And it has me reflecting a lot on my life ten years ago.  At the very beginning of this decade, I was 9 months pregnant and found out my husband (at the time) was cheating.  My life literally fell to pieces as I birthed my son into the world.  I remember going to a tarot card reader who pulled the Tower Card for me.  The card showed a burning and collapsing tower with giant piles of ruble and people jumping out of the tower.  It couldn’t have summed up my life better at the time.  All that I had built was being destroyed.  Little did I know that it would be the best thing that ever happened.

This last week in particular I have been struggling a lot with my health.  My neck becomes suddenly immobile and swollen.  So I listened to my body and just moved my awareness into the areas of pain…between my shoulder blades and neck.  As my mind went to this spot, an image of knife popped into my head.  I had been stabbed in the back.  My husband’s affairs felt like being stabbed in the back, the ultimate betrayal.

As I spoke with my neck and asked what it needed, I heard her whisper…”to take the knife out.”  I have been living with the knife still in my back, or at least the memory of its pain.  I started this decade with heartache and loss and I’ve carried that in my back til this moment.  I’m done waiting for a magical apology, or an owning of a horrific action.  I’m freeing myself from the last energetic chord to my ex.  As I imagined pulling the knife out, I seen myself walking to his house, ringing the doorbell and handing him the blood stained knife.  I turned my back and walked away.  It’s his to hold, not mine.  What he does with it is his choice.   I’m done living with the memory of that pain.  I don’t need to anymore, I’ve done the healing.

I’m entering this new decade in triumph, on a chariot of courage, determination and clarity.  Ten years after this treacherous time in my life, I’m remarried and have two more sons, a new home, a new job, essentially a whole new life.  I have rebuilt a stronger tower, on a much sturdier foundation.  I’v built a life that is actually suited to me.

The next ten years of my life will have nothing to do with that knife.  It will be about my life that I created and all the new stuff emerging, manifesting and singing my name.  To close my journey inward, I felt the need to heal the open wound in my skin left by the knife.  I imagined my guides coming and doing some energy healing and sowing me up with golden and sacred wire.  I imagined too putting my own hands on the wound and filling myself up with self-love and self-honour.  This is what I really want to focus on in the next ten years of my journey.  And so it is!

A FULL MOON SOUL JOURNEY FOR COMPLETION.

On this full moon I invite you to summon what is left of your learning in these last ten years.   Light some candles, burn some sage or innocence or infuse some oils and take some deep friggen’ breaths.  Really inhale.   Really exhale.  Move into that part of your body where the stuck energy and patterns of the last ten years are held.  Where is it?  What are the sensations that you notice?  Describe them.  Just move your mind there.   If you were to imagine an image that best represents the old wound or stuck pattern, what image emerges?  Or words, or shapes or colours?  Use your imagination.

What do you imagine this imagine represents?

What does your soul need regarding this energy in you?

What would the image/object say to you?

What do you need?

Are you ready to release it?

Ask your wise body how she would like you to release this old patterned energy?  Feel free to call in the elements of wind, water, fire or earth to help you.  Maybe a loved one, an Angel, a guide or power animal will be your helper.  Or maybe like me, you will just imagine pulling it out yourself.  There is no right or wrong, just what is.

What energy are you needing to fill yourself with, having removed this old energy and

beautiful beauty blue bright
Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

pattern?

Are there helpers, guides, stars, Grandmother moon…the water…anything that can help you heal the spot of the old.

Fill yourself with golden, radiant light and feel how lightened you are from freeing yourself from this pattern you’ve carried for the last ten years.

You are amazing!

And so it is!

Happy Full Healing Moon.

Much love

Crystal

xo

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Full Moon, healing, meditation, Uncategorized, womens health

April Full Moon- A Healing Inner Journey Ritual

fullmoonaprilOkay, here it is on a silver platter…my triggers, my wounds, my scabs and scars.  This full moon is shining her light upon them.  We are being called to heal, to dig deeper, to follow the pain to it’s root.

And this is mine…I hate it when I don’t feel heard.  I hate feeling like someone is trying to dominate or control me.  I want to shriek to the mountain tops and yell, just fricken listen to me!  Hear me, respect me and honor my perspective.  This is an eon old wound for many of us, one that has likely been passed from generation to generation.  We have been silenced by dominance, by fear, by control.  And we are now finding our power but with this awakening is the transcending of the old wounds.

I was used to surrendering my power and my voice, it was my pattern. Now, it has shifted to me being overly on guard, protective and at times demanding when my wound is cracked open…sad but humbly true. I’m reactive in the guts and blood of my hurt and I want control while I’m in the battle ground of the old painful memories.  I have sadly at times become dominant and controlling in the face of feeling unheard.

I’m so afraid of falling back to powerlessness and voicelessness I swing to the other side of the tracks and exert defensiveness, doubt and assume the worst possible outcome in a situation or about another.  This happens after trauma. You feel like everything is un-safe at first until slowly but surely, you have moments of safety and trust again.  Yet the memory, the pain of  betrayal and of hurt lurks underneath taunting your belief structures….”Assume the worst…protect yourself…assume they will fail or hurt you…be cautious…”

Here’s the deal, I used to surrender all my needs and wants in my relationships timidly and passively and I got very burned in my last marriage (that ended).  As a protective response I have been so focused on my needs and wants completely so they would not fall to the wayside once again that I have kept on my protective metal suit out of fear.  It has become my patterned response out of the memory of being so broken and hurt.  I armor up in situations that don’t need armoring, rather than be a sharer of power.  I placed myself first (which is lovely) but can border on selfish and inappropriate in a union.  There are two people’s needs in relationships, not just one.  It’s a balance of compromise, compassion, kindness, and understanding. I have wanted all of that myself and I have not always offered it.  I was victimizing myself when I wasn’t being victimized, only remembering the memories of my timid stance and ways in old relationships as a result have acted dominant. (not always but sometimes, when the button is really hit).

There sure are power battles in my relationship and I think we are finding a way to both feel like we have a sense of power together, in union.  Sometimes I will lead and other times I will let him lead.  This is hard for me…to let him lead.  It doesn’t always have to go my way, I don’t have to go take the reins all the time.  I can trust.

This is the essence of this Full Moon.  It is summoning up the wounds, the core, the muck at the root so we can really, really heal.  The loss of my voice, the silencing of my voice, the lack of use of my voice…these are my issues.  This moon is calling us to explore our sense of personal power and how that translates in our lives…and in our relationships.

It’s time to apply the balmy healing salve to heal it once and for all.

I have been reactive in my triggers in the last few months and since the New Moon I am more focused on witnessing and responding.  I am seeing the other and offering them what I need and want in the moment…to be heard. I’m offering kindness and respect rather than rage and even though things are emerging, they are not exploding like little hand-bombs in my everyday life.

So on this full Moon I invite you to take a step back and witness the chaos. As Lynn Andrews says, “stand in the eye of the storm and let it swirl around you while you stay rooted up against a tree.”  Things are changing, swirling, moving and we are asked to stand in the storm and allow it.  There is healing in change, in the swirls, in the upheaval that can emerge when we open the can of woundedness.  Allow it in…trust in the path and the Great Mother herself.

FULL MOON INNER JOURNEY RITUAL full moon journey

Spark up those candles and incense, take a few deep breaths and float into the dream world.

Imagine you are in a safe, calm, peaceful place, whatever that is for you..  Go with whatever comes up first.  I want to imagine that a wise and loving presence is walking towards you.   What do you see?  Who is this presence? Do they have a name?  What do they look like or what are some unique features about this presence.

They take a seat beside you and you notice too that the wounded part of yourself is there too. What do you notice about this part of you?

Ask the wise and loving presence how you can help your wounded self heal and clear old worn out fearful ways of living.

What old belief structures need healing and releasing?

What if love enveloped you and you felt safe and cared for, supported?  How would your wounded self feel and think differently?

Journal your about your journey inwards and enjoy the healing benefits of wisdom and love.

Feel your feet on your floor or ground, blow out your candles and bring your hands to your own heart in gratitude and self-love.

Aho!

Here’s my journey:

My wise and loving presence is an old Native woman who I have worked with before in my dreams.  I see my wounded self in head to toe body armor like a tin soldier and yet underneath the armor I know there is a wise and growing woman.  What do I do to help heal this part of me I ask my grandmother presence?

“Take off her armor,” she says.

It feels raw and vulnerable as I remove the metal shields.  Now what I ask?  How can I help her feel stronger and transcend the past?

I see her implanting healing crystals all over my wounded self’s body where I feel weakened and fearful.   She wraps me in scarves and says, this is gentler than metal armor.  Love can still come in.

I can feel my heart still has a hole…a weak spot.  She puts her hand over my chest and I can feel warmth.

“Time will help.  New experiences will help. What is the belief here?” she asks me as she continues to feel my heart energy.

I’m so afraid to go through such loss again, I’m not sure I’d make it this time.

“Are you willing to lose out on life just in case you might have more loss? My sweet girl, there will always be loss but there is also a lot of good life. If you keep the armor on you will create your own loss.  You will lose love anyways.”

I’m so afraid for things to fall apart again after I have finally just rebuilt them.  What if something happens to my baby?  What if my marriage crumbles?  What if I’m unable to return to work…what if, what if,what if??????

“Take a breath sweet girl,” she says.  Fear has enveloped you. What if love enveloped you?  What would you think, see and feel?”

I’d see the wonder and amazing blessings I have in my life, I’d be focused on this and not the potential of loss.  I’d be ecstatic that I’m having a baby, and allow in my excitement rather than shut it down.  I’d enjoy the blissful moments of my marriage more often, in fact I’d probably create them more often.  I’d see the sunshine and the grass growing and my beautiful, cozy, safe home.  I’d feel how blessed I am and full my heart is rather than an empty fear.  I’d be joyous.

“So let the scarves of love envelop you each morning and inhale the joy and wonder in your life,” she says.

She kisses my forehead and tells me to call upon her anytime.

And so it is!!!

Much love

xo

Crystal

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Photo 1 – tealhealing.blogspot.com

phote 2 – white wolf journeys. com

astrology, ceremony, Full Moon, healing, meditation, Spirituality, Uncategorized, womens health

A Healing Full Moon/Eclipse Ritual & Your Inner Queen

full moon march

Happy FULL Moon and Lunar Eclipse. The energies are brewing, the cauldron is stirring, the chaos,emotions, turmoil, struggles, and calls to grow and expand are bubbling.  Our unhealed shadowy selves are called to the surface so we can free them from the cages, free them from the rapture of old wounded ways and alas heal the cuts of the past.

Just the other day while walking my dogs, I heard this strange loud chirping in the trees. I’d never heard such a strange and loud gawk from birds before and wondered what the heck was calling in such in an unusual howl.  Then I seen my dogs jumping onto the bottom of a tree while an innocent ole’ ground hound gripped on for life to a branch near the top shrieking those unusual howls.

The Ground hog tells us…(from http://www.spirit-animals.com/groundhog/)

“You are being asked to explore altered states of consciousness deeper. The answers are within you – however you just have not dug deep enough to find the root of it. Groundhog can also be letting you know that you need to pay attention to your metabolism. Be aware of how your diet influences your natural bodies cycles and to make dietary adjustments to balance the workings of your body.

Alternatively Groundhog can be giving you fair warning that you have overstepped someone boundaries or someone is overstepping yours. Best is to resolve the situation with respect and from the heart.”

This full moon is in Libra, the sign about relationships.  Throw in a lunar eclipse and the intensity quadruples.  Lunar eclipses bring endings, shifts, and sudden change.

This fits well with Ground Hog’s message about boundaries, especially concerning relationships.  For me, I have someone in my life that I must deal with who constantly pushes and tries and over step my boundaries.  But I must look at the root, at my own causal piece in this.  I get thrown off, annoyed, frustrated, even irritated.  My mind sometimes loops into his trail of chaos and un-groundedness and  I literally start spinning with him until I remember to ground, stay firm, follow the agreements.

He rages, gets annoyed, calls me down, makes me the problem. But that’s okay.  My job is to figure out my stance.  As I enter the dream world to get some guidance and Higher vision on this circumstance, I see a large yard with a short white picket fence.  This is symbolic to my boundaries…nice, small, easy to step over.  So I ask my guides, how can I prevent him from stepping over my fence.

“Build a taller, stronger fence!” they say.

Of course! Keep things firm.  Don’t compromise, don’t adjust.  Focus on my peace, my emotional well-being, not his responses.  Easier said then done.  My inner cauldron of wounds, bubble over with feelings of fear and uncertainly.  I’m uncomfortable asserting my line knowing I will be met with resistance, with push back.  I get ready, get defensive, get myself preparing for the next set of attacks.  I want this response, this pattern to end.  It’s bullshit.  So I look inward to explore where the wound is so I can make the change.

I have this lingering patterned response, a neuro-conscious response (in mind-body therapy terms) where fear pumps into my chest when I must assert myself or express that my boundary has been crossed.  I feel childlike, timid, afraid of asserting my voice, my stance.  It stems from my childhood.  I’m afraid of getting into trouble.  But this belief, is old, tiresome, out dated.

So I follow the trail to the root.  Why am I afraid to assert myself? I know it stems from my dad, as much as I love him, when I was younger he yelled a lot when I’d try and find my voice.  It made me shrink in the face of conflict, authority, or anger.  I get afraid.  But what am I afraid of?  Being rejected? Being reprimanded?  Being wrong?

I get all twisted up in another’s point of view instead of remaining grounded in my own.  I start to question my accuracy, if I’m being selfish or the purity of my intent.  I doubt myself, and my knees start to wobble, I begin to feel weak and less confident in myself and my ability to assert my boundary begins to crumble.  I give in, stay silent and cower in the face of conflict only to beat myself up for stumbling.

There’a a connection to my voice, like somehow I won’t be believed or heard or honored. inner queenThere’s an old belief that my voice won’t be listened to so I go to the extreme defense protecting myself, trying to get validated, understood, and heard from the other person. This feels like to the root of my over-active immune system (auto-immune), always on the defense, hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant for attack and I must protect myself.  But there’s a difference between being overly cautions “on the defense” with being firm, assertive, and a Queen.  Rather than protecting my fence with a metal-suited soldier, I can call upon my inner Queen to simply stand there and energetically hold her presence.  There’s no defense, there’s confidence, certainty, trust in Herself, her power, her decision.  TRUST IN HERSELF! It’s just an energy of upholding the line, not defending it.

My inner Queen says to my inner child, “Who cares!  Who cares if he rejects you, you’ve already rejected him.  He can’t reprimand you and no, your feelings are not wrong.  Do not be afraid to expect your boundaries to be respected!  That is your right.”  

Expect to be respected. There is such power in that.  That is where my wound lies.  I have expected to be disrespected and prepare for this instead of standing firm in my right to be respected.  I will expect to be respected.  That just completely changes the energy of everything, don’t you think?! 🙂

“How can I feel as strong and confident as you?” my scared, child part asks my Queen.

“Put on your crown and cape little girl and believe in your own authority.”

I imagine my little girl with the crown and cape the Queen has gifted her and she feels naturally more confident and sure of herself.  She knows, she remembers, she owns that she is indeed a Queen. A Queen with power, assertion, and authority.  She commands the stage with her presence.

And so it is.

FULL MOON/ LUNAR ECLIPSE HEALING RITUAL:

Grab your journal, light a candle, put on some music and spark up an incense.  Drift inward, imagine seeing your inner child.  It’s time to dive inward to where we need balance and restoration.  It’s time to end old, wounded ways of being.

 

It’s time to dream, go inward and write and reflect with your magical inner world.  Get out your journals, turn on the switch to your imagination and travel into the healing gates of wonder…

1)Explore your inner parts, particularly your inner child, the wounded child.  What patterns, beliefs, wounds keep you stuck in old wounded patterns in your relationship? What does your inner child look like?  What are they wearing, what is their stance, what is their energy and presence?  What words or feelings come to mind with this part of you?

3) Think of a relationship with a certain person or people that you have been struggling with. Imagine the relationship dynamic or your presence in the relationships in the form of a landscape that reflects your boundaries and interactions within it.  What do you see and notice? What is there? What colors and images? What does this say about your patterns or wounded beliefs?

4)  Imagine seeing your inner Queen walking from her castle to this landscape. How does she move, feel and change the feeling with her presence?  What does she look like?

5) Ask her how you can heal this old pattern in your relationship or relationships and see if she will give you something, an object or objects to help you in shifting this old way of relating.

Share your experiences 🙂

And so it is!!!

 

This moon’s mantra.  “I assert my boundaries with ease by owning and stepping into my Inner Queen.”

 

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astrology, ceremony, creativity, meditation, Spirituality, womens health

Go Buck Wild with this November New Moon Ritual!

nov moon1Ahhhhh…..a return to my home sign Sagittarius.  Another year of my life soon completed as my birthday fast approaches.  So much to reflect on this year….what an interesting year.

Tomorrow’s New Moon falls just as Sagittarius busts out of the gates and that’s some good and exciting news.  Us Sagittarius folk are about freedom.  Freedom…freedom…and more freedom.  We are free-spirited centaurs; half animal, half human and we love to play, explore and adventure out. We are thirsty for knowledge and know that it is through experience and exploration that we drink it in.  We are bright eyed and busy tailed, voluptuous thinkers and visionaries.  When we have an idea we run with it, not just in the farm yard but to borders and beyond.  We stretch the impossible limits with exciting visions and move towards the so called “unreachable”.  We dare to travel there, not just for the guts and glory of the pursuit but also for the radically fun ride of adventure down the trail of the unknown and un-travelled possibilities.

My statue of Goddess Tara was also an inspiration for this month’s new moon.  I typically keep her on my fireplace mantel but with Christmas Season my son wanted to put some snowmen in her spot.  So I reluctantly agreed and moved her onto my altar.  Wowza!  She’s been calling to go there.  She is the “mother of liberation” and she represents the virtues of success in work and achievements.  She governs the life, death and rebirth cycles and is often associated with Luna and the Moon cycles.  So allow Goddess Tara to see your visions, have fun and stretch those thinking limits into the realms of imagination, visioning and fun exploration for the soul.  Write down two or three goals you have for this moon cycle and sit it on your altar with some tobacco, corn meal or epson salts.  I have an offering plate where I leave my monthly moon goals and I tell ya’ they’ve been working.

NEW MOON RITUAL:  So in honor of this New Moon in Sagittarius I invite you to create a collage with all your radical, wild, free spirited visions for your life.  Go ahead, write them down, collage them, see them…and dare to dream them.  Have fun, play, and make visible your wild and free wishes.  Dare to dream the unthinkable and go for it.

Life is but an adventure, so embrace the Sagittarius energy and go buck wild in the adventurous realms of your soul.  Let yourself be sagittariously free spirited and charge into new visions and ideas.

Enjoy, it will be a great month.

C.

Picture from Pinterest.

ceremony, healing, meditation, Spirituality, womens health

Take a Shamanic Journey to the Moon Lodge on the 3 Days of the Full Moon

moon lodgeThis full moon is really different for me.  I am very reflective and inward, likely because we are shifting into the dark months, going inward and into the bear cave as winter approaches.  I usually move my energy out in a sacred art format but I am not on this full moon.  I am still moving my energy but in an inward way.

So join me, and take a ride inward and come to the collective Moon Lodge where all sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts and daughters celebrate the full moon.  Close your eyes and walk down a trial until you see the world’s largest tipi up the road.   Isn’t it beautiful!?  Walk into the opening and inside.   It is dark and lit with candles so you can see.  Notice there is a large magical bowl in the middle with magical moon beams swirling within it.  It looks like colorful magic dust dancing spinning around as it sparkles.  Find your spot on the mossy ground around the magical moon bowl and rest that beautiful self.  Take in some breaths and enjoy the smell of sweet grass, eucalyptus and sage in the air.  Let it calm and soothe you with each breath.  Notice your sacred garments of clothing that you wear on these special Women’s Tribe ceremonies and shoot yourself a smile for being so rad and Sacred!  Peak out the top of the tipi where there is opening and see the moon shining brightly in the dark night sky.  See the stars sing just as brightly next to the big, bright full moon.

If you’re like me and your menstruating with the full moon, allow yourself to bleed on the mossy grounds as we used to in our tribes and allow Mother Earth to regenerate all that you shed into energy for Her renewal, healing and vitality.  If you are not simply imagine any energy that needs to be released to surrender into the ground.   Watch other women in the tipi go to the magical bowl at the center of the moon lodge and emptying their emotional cargo bags.  Notice too how they are taking with them a sacred object after they empty their bags.  Join me and drag your bag across the floor.  Look down into the magical bowl and see how it it’s like a deep portal, a large vast emptiness into another world.

“The grandmothers will take care your cargo,” the women in the lodge say, “but you need to do your work with it too.”

So let us learn from what is in our emotional bags.   Empty your bag and see what falls out, notice how it just floats there above the bowl for you to see.  What is it trying to teach you or tell you?  What message does it have for you in your soul’s journey and evolution?  Take your journal out as describe what you see….  Write about it’s purpose and message for you…honor it and take time to tend to it.

Watch it vanish into the Earth Mother and into another dimension.  They have left for you an object to help you tend to the emotional cargo that has surfaced.   It too is floating in the bowl, waiting for you to grab.   Just allow yourself to see it and bring it to your heart.

Sit back down on the mossy ground and just be with your Sacred object that was given to you by the grandmothers.   Sit and enjoy the magic of being with other women who are honoring their Feminine Ways with Grandmother Moon as she shines full and bright, signalling to us to see our own internal landscapes.  Just really absorb the joy of gathering, even in spirit, with the women’s tribe. Lay some tobacco from your pouch and put it on the ground in gratitude to the Great Mother Earth and the Grandmothers…

Get up and walk clockwise around the magical bowl and outside of the tipi.  Take the trail back to the now and gently open your eyes and move your hands and feet.

Be sure to journal and share your experience.

And so it is…

Aho!

Happy Full Moon.