I’ve been exploring my experience with allowing my desires lately and my beliefs around fulfilling my desires. When I really let the word sink into my body and feel it, it becomes a sensual tingling, an arousing energy, an elevating vibration. I’ve come to realize how often I deny my desires or wishes for things. I fill up my online shopping cart only to close the webpage down without placing an order. We’ve been taught that fulfilling our desires is selfish, especially as a mom. I choose to deny what I want and don’t allow the energy of something fun or uplifting towards me. I’ve “sacrificed” my way out of my desires. I’ve closed off the experience of enjoying things, clothes, luxuries… in the name of my kids sometimes or a deep rooted guilt if I’m honest. I’ve equated luxury with egotism or lack of consciousness. I know things don’t make you happy per say, we cannot look to external objects or people to make us feel fulfilled. But what about enjoying this human experience!!?? I’ve denied myself gifts and offerings out of a false sense of being noble or helpful. I’ve shut down my desire and with it some of my physical, sensual enjoyment of human living. I am worthy and deserving of everything I desire, am I not? I mean… why not? My first thought comes to the belief that someone may need it more than me…so I’ll step aside and sacrifice my desires cause I’m content with “ok.”. Barf!! 🤮 it’s funny how making the unconscious – conscious can reveal our conditioned martyr responses as women, that somehow being a women or mother is equated with sacrifice. But I see now that fulfilling my desires, my wants , my wishes, even the physical joys of new clothes and non-important things just purely for desire…elevates my joy. It stokes my “I’m deserving and worthy” fires by offering myself non-essential but joyous, fun gifts. It’s vibrationally elevating and part of human living. It’s part of self loving to experience the physical ness of human life. Sunday food for thought . Why not live with the sensual, joyous experiences of desire in your life ? Invite it in and trust your desire!
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