Happy Winter Solstice from here in Canada! On this Darkest day of the year the Universe has brought me back to the teaching of the Grouse. I have lost my balance between inner and outer self, between light and dark, doing and being. And the grouse has puffed up her chest in my face, reminding me of her sacred message.
In her book Medicine Cards, Jamie Sams connects the grouse to the sacred spiral. She asks us, “Analyze the way you move through your world. How do you picture yourself in the act of “locomotion”…What word would you use to describe the way you move through both the material and spiritual worlds?…is your movement compatible with your greatest desires and goals?” (journal prompts!!)
For me I’m like a chicken with head cut off, running around my busy life with my three boys and husband, always doing three things at one time, somewhat disconnected from it all. I want to move slower, more gently and way more consciously. I want to be fully present in the moment of what I’m doing. I have almost come to a screeching halt in the spirit world and need to change this today! In this moment I see how we cannot manifest this visions into physical form if we are not taking time to see the vision in the moments of still and spiritual world exploring.
The grouse is also an ancient symbol for birth and rebirth and is often represented by the sacred spiral as this is the way the grouse does her sacred dance. The sacred spiral is symbol of personal power, a feminine symbol that we used to paint on our bodies for ceremonies and vision quests, a symbol of visioning to the centre of creation, down the sacred spiral and towards the centre and still spot of a tornado.
This message fit well as I have been really exploring my energy lately and witnessing how much I push myself and how much I pull back. And in my self-assessment I’ve come to realize that I’m really good at pushing myself and I rarely pull back my energy on my own accord but usually out of collapse. I typically go from a state of pushing, pushing, pushing to a grinding halt…stopped dead in my tracks with inertia and exhaustion. The experience of pulling back is not gentle or subtle, it’s extreme and fierce. It’s forceful and out of desperation, a need for recuperation and a catching of my breath for survival. Like everyone else I’m learning to exist somewhere between inertia and a thousand miles a minute and moving away from the extremes. I do know this, for every action there is an equal or greater reaction. So when we move to one extreme, there is always the opposite extreme waiting for our arrival.
So can we experiment and maybe loosen our ropes? Pull back from doing so much? I remember during my recovery from disordered eating, I forced myself to find the middle ground and find the luscious glow of mediocrity. I wouldn’t run as far or push as hard, I would intentionally try not to be the best or on top but rather middle ground because it was gentler and more loving but it was deeply uncomfortable. Feelings of worthlessness and fear of not being good enough oozed out of me as I tried to live a more balanced life. I equated not being perfect or the best with failure even if it cost me my well being. A new form had to be found. This constant over-doing and busyness is a ridiculous and unhealthy way to live my life, no more. The busyness of my life has moved me into exhaustion and disconnection. My pulling back is to be more intentional and consciousness in the moment and way more stillness. I need to make space for it like my life depends on it because I know it does.
On this beautiful day of darkness, I encourage us to find the sacred ceremony of intentional gentleness. Mmmm…I want to inhale the word “gentleness” into the aura of my life and let her soothing energy settle into my bones. So celebrate this day of darkness by sacred acts of doing less, of being gentle, of soothing the soul by dipping into our dark depths. Perhaps gentleness is letting the dishes dry in the sink or reading a good book instead of doing the laundry. I found it to be quite playful to try and find balance in a gentle, subtle, loving way in my every day life instead of just pushing and getting through these few days and then falling ill or finishing my weak in a state of depletion. Perhaps it’s even lighting up on the workout or spending the day cozy in fuzzy socks and Christmas sweaters by the fire. Perhaps it’s lighting candles and infusing peppermint oils with the sparkling twinkle of Christmas lights around us. Make today a sacred game of finding was to be gentle and softer, more being less doing.
SOLSTICE REFLECTIVE WRITING RITUAL:
What is your relationship with Beingness?
What is your relationship with your own inner darkness and shadow self? Do you welcome and embrace your darkness or do you push it away and positive affirmation yourself into by-passing it?
Do you spend time in reflection and contemplation? What supports this practise for you or what hinders it?
Imagine sitting with the great sacred being of Solstice, the keeper of the dark, cavernous portals of being. You and this powerful gatekeeper are sitting around a crackling fire inside a deep rocky cave. Can you just sit in the energy of this Being..feel that being ness, pull it in, let it soften you, soothe you, surrendering your guards. Just sit and be, feeling Presence, feeling the warmth of the fire on your face. Sit there and receive the gifts of Being. Inhale the gentleness and calm around you. Expand the calmness all throughout your body. Feel it in your lungs and allow it to settle into your bones. Savour in it for as long as you need. When you are done, make an offering to the Divine Solstice being seated with you and when you’re ready, open you’re eyes and feel how you still feel the gift of Beingness.
Aho! And so it is.
Happy Solstice Friends 🙂
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