I want to share a powerful healing journey with you I’ve been going through. I recognize we won’t have exact experiences but I hope somehow it resonates for you in your own life, with your own particulars.
I have been struggling with my chronic illness lately, having to do a lot of blood infusions and dealing with a lot of inflammation, particularly in my large intestine this time around. I am a believer and student of mind/body medicine and ways of the Sacred Feminine, meaning I know my body has something to tell me. Illness and inflammation are always messengers from my deepest Self and health challenges are an opportunity for healing if we choose to explore it as such.
So after five days of struggle, I finally sit down and listen. After some podcasts and reflections these questions have emerged.
Here we go…
I have not been showing up for myself in my life at all lately. I hear my grumbling, tired soul and body and instead of tending to it, I’ve been zoning out, watching tv, going to sleep, keep busy busy busy. My mind has been swirling with ideas, and new goals but I’m spinning in stuckness not putting pen to paper, just living in the land of busy mom and not showing up for myself. That is step one, recognizing the problem.
I can show up for myself more often perhaps in little segments or tidbits. I need to schedule it in during kid naps and block off at least one evening a week to do some deep soul pouring and get my course written/created. In the meantime I can light candles, listen to podcasts as I clean or hang with baby, and keep moving my body in loving ways.
How do I need to show up for my soul more often? I think and feel I really need to commit to taking 10-20 minutes each evening, writing, journaling, reflecting, pondering, whatever that may be and check-on. I just need to create me soul space in my life. Writing is part of that for me and helps me move out my stuck thoughts. And I need to commit like my health depended on it, cause my body is telling me it is!
In mind-body medicine and energy healing irritations with the LARGE INTESTINE have to do with, “crying spells, confusion, irritation, frustration, stagnation, and anger. Thinking that you can’t do any thing right. Wanting to run away and hide form the world. Feeling that you are too different and that no one understand you. Difficulty seeing other people’s point of view. Dogmatically defending your position in arguments. Extremely sensitive, thin-skinned.” (The Secret Language of Your Body by Inna Segal pg.64)
I resonate with all of this. I’ve been spinning, stuck, overwhelmed, lost, scattered and thus frustrated. I have had crying meltdowns in my overwhelm, feeling like I keep trying to swim to shore but can’t find the shore. I realize now I just needed to stop swimming, take a look and make a plan. Take one step at a time and cut some things out that I’m not quite ready for. Visualize where I’m going and focus on each pearl on the thread one by one. I’ve been trying to hold three or four chains of pearls and I’m spinning in stickiness not knowing which one to focus on.
So on this lovely October day, I invite you go through the questions listed above and just free flow your pen to page. Set a timer for 5 minutes and don’t lift that pen up til the timer goes off. Invite yourself back into your life. Please share your findings in comments.
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