It has been a long while since I’ve written my words anywhere. I have not put pen to paper in a long time and I’ not fully sure why. To be honest, I’ve been uninspired, in a lull, in a lost, disconnected soulful way. My soul has needed resuscitation…an electric shock into life again.
I’m craving Spirit… it’s something that was at the very epicentre of my being and my everyday life. But life herself pulled me off course and into the land of the lost so I’d get so restless and stuck that I’d be
willing forced to move, change and reevaluate everything. And I have.
I’ve been craving change in many parts of my life and I feel like this year has change as it’s main theme. Change is occurring at our roots, in our bones and at our foundation. This is huge! When you make change here you make change everywhere.
But mostly what I’m craving and needing and wanting ohhhh so bad again is connection…connection to myself , to others and to the Divine.
I knew drastic new roads were imperative to shake my life up and whip up the inspiration and break me free from the stuckness.
It’s scary to walk a new road… I feel uncertain of myself and wonder if I can do it. Doubt and fear set in, part of the growing pains but ones we must work beyond and through.
I’m so used to being defined by an illness but I don’t want that for myself . As I walk the new road I feel unsure of my footing… I wonder if I’ll be ok or if the illness will come in and turn my life upside down once again. But that illness and I have come to a truce … I don’t need it to come and take over my life for I can have a voice and express my needs and set my boundaries and really take responsibility for myself and shoulder only what I can, not what I think I should. It’s on me to take care of me… and that’s fucking scary in a way. I’m fully responsible for my health and well-being…period. I really need to speak up when I’m tired or can’t do something or simply don’t want to. No pushing or forcing myself only loving my body and heart for what it really needs.
So as I walk down this new path fear takes ahold of me and I go to the worse possible outcome … more illness.. more time in hospitals, failure, doubt, and uncertainty. I don’t want to go down this rabbit hole.
So, instead I’m taking a moment to stop and take some breaths and to trust this is part of the road of feeding my soul back into aliveness. What if this trail works out great .. in fact in the best possible way? What would be the outcome ? What could I expect instead with a mindset of confidence, trait and faith ?
I bet I’d feel alive again, increase my sense of confidence , feel like myself , connect with others , connect to myself.
What if this road ignites my aliveness so much that I find my soul bursting with colourful shawls and rainbow energy beams so much that I create the connections I crave a need and so deeply want.
What if I found spiritually in my everyday life again simply by feeling alive and not like I was dying. What is I created space and circles where other like minded women joined me to discover their own depths and aliveness. Yes! Yes! What if this all just works out like Divine poem unfolding each word at a time.
Spirit always shows up for me when I ask and trust and just like that I had message from Creation calming me and my nerves. I wasn’t even quite sure what it was but when you call Spirit .. . Creation comes a running. I happen to see an article with this particular bird. I hadn’t even heard of it but it is what the exact bird was visiting my property swooping down in the creek.
It was an Osprey… and osprey’s message for us is upon this Aries full moons and change in our lives.
I invite you to ride the waves of change and allow the discomfort or expansion pains to exist but keep fiercely moving forward.
“Osprey – The Beacon
The Beacon. King of Coasts and Cliffs. Water and Wind. Yin and Yang. The Sun. Solar Worship. Plundering Resources. Overcoming ‘Grass is Greener’ Syndrome. Respecting Others. Honing the Senses. Precise Timing. Streamlining. Environmental Awareness. Comfort Zones.
– The osprey is connected to all aspects of solar worship. And can come into one’s life to emphasise the value and healing properties of the sun, and to help those who practice mystically or spiritually to facilitate sun-god communion.
– An osprey doesn’t wait for the fish to jump out of the water to meet him, instead he splashes in headfirst into an element that he could not survive within. He even places his head under the water – unlike sea-eagles. He teaches us how to plunder our resources and the necessity to move outside of our comfort zones in order to do this. Osprey teaches us to take risks, and to not be frightened of grasping opportunities just because they seem like they’re out of our reach.
– An appearance of osprey in your life can indicate an appearance of the spirit in the form of the Beacon, coming to guide you back to a place of safety or security, or to a feeling of groundedness.
– In terms of working on an energy or elemental level, osprey energy can be called upon when working with the elements of water and wind.
– Osprey tells us that what is right in front of us, is enough, and that we must overcome ‘grass is greener’ syndrome and constantly wonder ‘what if?’ about how much better things are on the other side of our horizons.
Ospreys come into our life to teach us how to hone our senses, on both a physical and spiritual level. We might have become lazy with meditation, or with a physical endeavour we used to enjoy. We might have let our brains, bodies and spirits become sluggish. Osprey claws us back into shape, so that we learn that we nourish ourselves when we’re honed. ”