Happy FULL Moon and Lunar Eclipse. The energies are brewing, the cauldron is stirring, the chaos,emotions, turmoil, struggles, and calls to grow and expand are bubbling. Our unhealed shadowy selves are called to the surface so we can free them from the cages, free them from the rapture of old wounded ways and alas heal the cuts of the past.
Just the other day while walking my dogs, I heard this strange loud chirping in the trees. I’d never heard such a strange and loud gawk from birds before and wondered what the heck was calling in such in an unusual howl. Then I seen my dogs jumping onto the bottom of a tree while an innocent ole’ ground hound gripped on for life to a branch near the top shrieking those unusual howls.
The Ground hog tells us…(from http://www.spirit-animals.com/groundhog/)
“You are being asked to explore altered states of consciousness deeper. The answers are within you – however you just have not dug deep enough to find the root of it. Groundhog can also be letting you know that you need to pay attention to your metabolism. Be aware of how your diet influences your natural bodies cycles and to make dietary adjustments to balance the workings of your body.
Alternatively Groundhog can be giving you fair warning that you have overstepped someone boundaries or someone is overstepping yours. Best is to resolve the situation with respect and from the heart.”
This full moon is in Libra, the sign about relationships. Throw in a lunar eclipse and the intensity quadruples. Lunar eclipses bring endings, shifts, and sudden change.
This fits well with Ground Hog’s message about boundaries, especially concerning relationships. For me, I have someone in my life that I must deal with who constantly pushes and tries and over step my boundaries. But I must look at the root, at my own causal piece in this. I get thrown off, annoyed, frustrated, even irritated. My mind sometimes loops into his trail of chaos and un-groundedness and I literally start spinning with him until I remember to ground, stay firm, follow the agreements.
He rages, gets annoyed, calls me down, makes me the problem. But that’s okay. My job is to figure out my stance. As I enter the dream world to get some guidance and Higher vision on this circumstance, I see a large yard with a short white picket fence. This is symbolic to my boundaries…nice, small, easy to step over. So I ask my guides, how can I prevent him from stepping over my fence.
“Build a taller, stronger fence!” they say.
Of course! Keep things firm. Don’t compromise, don’t adjust. Focus on my peace, my emotional well-being, not his responses. Easier said then done. My inner cauldron of wounds, bubble over with feelings of fear and uncertainly. I’m uncomfortable asserting my line knowing I will be met with resistance, with push back. I get ready, get defensive, get myself preparing for the next set of attacks. I want this response, this pattern to end. It’s bullshit. So I look inward to explore where the wound is so I can make the change.
I have this lingering patterned response, a neuro-conscious response (in mind-body therapy terms) where fear pumps into my chest when I must assert myself or express that my boundary has been crossed. I feel childlike, timid, afraid of asserting my voice, my stance. It stems from my childhood. I’m afraid of getting into trouble. But this belief, is old, tiresome, out dated.
So I follow the trail to the root. Why am I afraid to assert myself? I know it stems from my dad, as much as I love him, when I was younger he yelled a lot when I’d try and find my voice. It made me shrink in the face of conflict, authority, or anger. I get afraid. But what am I afraid of? Being rejected? Being reprimanded? Being wrong?
I get all twisted up in another’s point of view instead of remaining grounded in my own. I start to question my accuracy, if I’m being selfish or the purity of my intent. I doubt myself, and my knees start to wobble, I begin to feel weak and less confident in myself and my ability to assert my boundary begins to crumble. I give in, stay silent and cower in the face of conflict only to beat myself up for stumbling.
There’a a connection to my voice, like somehow I won’t be believed or heard or honored. There’s an old belief that my voice won’t be listened to so I go to the extreme defense protecting myself, trying to get validated, understood, and heard from the other person. This feels like to the root of my over-active immune system (auto-immune), always on the defense, hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant for attack and I must protect myself. But there’s a difference between being overly cautions “on the defense” with being firm, assertive, and a Queen. Rather than protecting my fence with a metal-suited soldier, I can call upon my inner Queen to simply stand there and energetically hold her presence. There’s no defense, there’s confidence, certainty, trust in Herself, her power, her decision. TRUST IN HERSELF! It’s just an energy of upholding the line, not defending it.
My inner Queen says to my inner child, “Who cares! Who cares if he rejects you, you’ve already rejected him. He can’t reprimand you and no, your feelings are not wrong. Do not be afraid to expect your boundaries to be respected! That is your right.”
Expect to be respected. There is such power in that. That is where my wound lies. I have expected to be disrespected and prepare for this instead of standing firm in my right to be respected. I will expect to be respected. That just completely changes the energy of everything, don’t you think?! 🙂
“How can I feel as strong and confident as you?” my scared, child part asks my Queen.
“Put on your crown and cape little girl and believe in your own authority.”
I imagine my little girl with the crown and cape the Queen has gifted her and she feels naturally more confident and sure of herself. She knows, she remembers, she owns that she is indeed a Queen. A Queen with power, assertion, and authority. She commands the stage with her presence.
And so it is.
Grab your journal, light a candle, put on some music and spark up an incense. Drift inward, imagine seeing your inner child. It’s time to dive inward to where we need balance and restoration. It’s time to end old, wounded ways of being.
It’s time to dream, go inward and write and reflect with your magical inner world. Get out your journals, turn on the switch to your imagination and travel into the healing gates of wonder…
1)Explore your inner parts, particularly your inner child, the wounded child. What patterns, beliefs, wounds keep you stuck in old wounded patterns in your relationship? What does your inner child look like? What are they wearing, what is their stance, what is their energy and presence? What words or feelings come to mind with this part of you?
3) Think of a relationship with a certain person or people that you have been struggling with. Imagine the relationship dynamic or your presence in the relationships in the form of a landscape that reflects your boundaries and interactions within it. What do you see and notice? What is there? What colors and images? What does this say about your patterns or wounded beliefs?
4) Imagine seeing your inner Queen walking from her castle to this landscape. How does she move, feel and change the feeling with her presence? What does she look like?
5) Ask her how you can heal this old pattern in your relationship or relationships and see if she will give you something, an object or objects to help you in shifting this old way of relating.
Share your experiences 🙂
And so it is!!!
This moon’s mantra. “I assert my boundaries with ease by owning and stepping into my Inner Queen.”
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