My mind is still on feelings. Feelings….gotta love those feelings (this plays as a fun little jingle in my head). I feel that because we are in a mercury retrograde we must continue to reflect AND feel the old stuff that is surfacing to sort through. We become clear this way. It’s like forming a “yay” or “nay” pile of emotional cargo we are keeping and releasing. What is coming up for you? What is whispering at you through trickles of anxiety in your gut or scratching at your ferociously in your throat? Are you teary? Are you joyful? Are you inspired? What gift is this emotional information bringing to you? What do you need?
I feel a bit stuck, spinning, swirling…moving in all directions not just one. I got caught up in my head. Even my writing got stuck because I was writing with my mind and not from my guts, not from the place of my primal, tribal, feminine soul, swirling with colorful paintbrushes on the landscape of my life but from the place of the “shoulds”. And, that’s the shits! So I listened to the stuckness and heard what it had to say. Go buck wild, play, indulge in fun. Joyously release the old. Retrogrades are a time of reflecting and tying up the past, bring closure to the unfinished business.
I was pushing to hard, trying to force something rather than allowing it to emerge simply on its own. I was standing in front of a few different pathways trying to figure out which one I should travel down. One path I tried in the past and walked away from it, it just didn’t fit. Here it was again sitting at the the crossroads and I contemplated taking it but the universe and my health intervened and I did not walk that road. I realize how much that closing that door was a gift even though part of me wanted to take it. It wasn’t truly me, I’d be twisting and turning myself trying to make it fit. And in restorative yoga class, the answers occurred, just share and be and walk the path that has always been inside you. I’m already down the right road, be patient, trust and most importantly…dance!! 😉
There’s an energy within that naturally wants to be danced out not forced out fiercely and quickly. It shuts down like that and quivers into a corner, unwilling to come forth by force.
I had the pleasure of going out for lunch with a good pal and we chatted some about feelings and how many of us are so afraid to hear them as sacred messengers. I’m sure every one of us has had a bout of feeling down, maybe it’s depression (which is simply stagnation/inertia/stuckness of energy). And maybe it’s not. However it’s a feeling of being ho hum, down, blue. Maybe you’re like me and you feel irritated, on edge, agitated, emotional, leaking tears at every turn. This is information!!! Let us listen to it. There’s a deep deep message and sometimes that message is not what we want to hear but it is our truth. It’s often information that our souls and minds are not in unity, instead our minds are running the show. Our wild, free spirits get annoyed, agitated, and feel devalued, even hurt. Our soul whispers or sometimes screams through our tears….”I’m not happy in this job or relationship. I’m dying on the inside in all these care-giving roles….I need more.”
WRITING EXERCISE: Going Inward.
Go to that primal, tribal,feminine woman in you. Imagine her inside your body, your being. What does she look like. Feel her emerge. Take a posture or stance that feels like hers. Become her. From that place I want you to write. Set your timer for five minutes and just write with the following prompt. “I need….” Don’t lift your pen, don’t think, just go wild on the page for five luscious minutes and let her speak up. Stretch your imagination and invite in your wildest dreams….This is how we feel fulfilled when we tap into our inner wild.
Please do share your experiences 🙂
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